Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you're not very interesting, or he wouldn't look for things to do that don't involve you. Did you gain a lot of weight recently?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Why do you work if he makes more than $5m? You could not work, hire most things, and have most of your days to yourself. I have a high earning spouse and still work, but if he was pulling in $5m, I'd certainly quit my job.

Anonymous wrote:Op, is it cycling/triathlon/running?

Anonymous wrote:This is why I stopped signing my kids up for activities. The only sport I sign them up for is swim lessons, if that even counts. I'm not with my ex but we co parent and he lives down the street so we pretty much both see the kids every day (like today he dropped the kids off with me before work, I got them ready and took them to school, he will pick them up).

I focus on activities I can do with my kids. Paddle boarding, biking, etc. Helps we are in a warm climate. I stopped caring about their dad doing anything fun with them. I also don't set up too many play dates, because I know I'm going to be the one doing all the driving and socializing. It kind of sucks for the kids, but we do have a lot of fun the 3 of us without their Dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Why do you work if he makes more than $5m? You could not work, hire most things, and have most of your days to yourself. I have a high earning spouse and still work, but if he was pulling in $5m, I'd certainly quit my job.

Anonymous wrote:Unless he signed the kids up for those things, there's no reason he should take them. If they want to do the activity, they should arrange their own rides.

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd just have the fight.

As a PP said, make it about fairness. And be totally blunt - "Larlo, Boy Scouts isn't about you or your enjoyment. It's a parental duty." And don't try to sweeten the pot with things like him knowing other dads there like it's some bargaining chip

And don't let him weasel out by saying he didn't want the kids to do all these activities anyway. That discussion can be tabled until this fall's activities are over.

I think you just have to stop tiptoeing around this and have the come to Jesus.

It’s only a parental duty of both parents jointly agreed on the activity or if they agreed that activities were something they would give their child and they would split the duties when it came to making it happen.

I don’t think it’s fair to unilaterally decide on how many and which activities are going to happen and then expect the other parent to split the duties of making them happen.

I love how you just skipped over where I explicitly addressed that.

And then made up a scenario of what you think the OP did.

Never change DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband is like this and has gradually gotten worse over the years. As his income goes up, he feels more and more entitled to do less. He works all day and does his hobby virtually every night. Sometimes he will say “I’ll be home 6-6:40 for dinner” in between work and hobby, and then he expects everyone to cater to that time, to the point where we need to be siting at the table waiting because he only has 40 minute. He is a very high earner (above 5M) and believes this entirely justifies his behavior. I also work, but earn much less. And no. It’s not an affair - it’s a hobby that is easily confirmed.
One thing I have done is I just let the kids miss their activities if it’s complicated to get them all to different places. This annoys him but I don’t care or don’t tell him.

Why do you work if he makes more than $5m? You could not work, hire most things, and have most of your days to yourself. I have a high earning spouse and still work, but if he was pulling in $5m, I'd certainly quit my job.