Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Interesting. We had the opposite impression. At Dartmouth we saw a lot of frat boys and athletes who didn’t seem particularly interested in academics or intellectualism—more into having fun. My friend’s daughter who goes to Middlebury is intensely focused on academics. Guess you’ll find both at every college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS graduated from Swarthmore. Sure, he worked hard, but I never heard/felt major stress from him. To those parents who think they see this INTENSITY when they tour, what are you seeing?

I asked about this on a Swarthmore thread. I visited with my DS this summer and maybe because we had a very outgoing and funny tour guide, my kid came away very enthusiastic. But everything I read here claims it is an "intense" school - how do we know that? what does that mean? How are we supposed to know if a school is too "intense" for any particular kid?

You can never know for sure.

People come away from tours with certain impressions, accurate or not. When visiting Dartmouth, we met several students, including our very accomplished tour guide, who politely said that academics were intense. They actually came out and said it. While it was never described quite as plainly elsewhere, we got the same vibe at Williams and Georgetown. We visited other colleges like Middlebury where we got the distinct impression that our tour guide was an airhead and lots of other students we met were there to have fun and not study - and the admissions person we heard did nothing to dispel that view.

Anonymous wrote:To me, there are two kinds of intensity - academic intensity, and intensity that permeates the entire college experience.

In helping DC build their list, we’ve been assuming the academics will be intense at any T20 school (and at many others, too.)

These schools enroll super bright kids, so expect the professors to move at a fast pace, assign a lot of reading/work between classes, and demand a high level of performance in discussions and on exams. As they should. Kids at these schools have proven they can handle the academic challenge (and hopefully most truly want it!)

Our questions are all about how that expected academic intensity affects the rest of the college experience at different schools.

How much does the academic intensity bleed out of the classrooms/libraries into the rest of kids’ lives?

Over time, does it tend to weigh kids down and dampen their appetite and energy for FUN clubs and activities (balanced lives), socializing (relationships), and just plain chilling out (rest/mental health)? Or do kids tend to aspire to a work hard/play hard approach? Kids look to their peers for direction - which way to the peer pressure/campus culture point?

I ask this as a Duke alum who graduated in the late 90s. Yes, the academics were tough. My friends and I worked a lot harder than we did in high school, and there were certainly points where the academic load weighed heavily on us!

But the overall vibe at Duke then was not to dwell (or worse, brag … ugh) on how hard we were grinding. We all knew that we were there for the academics, and we were 100% engaged. But there was no pride or swagger in the stress or the grind.

Instead, we were always trying to make time for the FUN stuff - the basketball games, parties, gym, concerts and shows on campus, clubs etc. Life outside the work.

A generation later, my kid is looking for something similar. Academics that are genuinely intense and challenging, but in an environment that promotes balance and release from that intensity.

We assume this exists. Would love to hear positive examples from T10 and T50 schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear Cornell described this way. But I don’t get it. Cornell is huge. How can it have a single vibe?

Curious to hear about people’s kids’ first-hand experiences there. DC is a work hard/play hard type. Is efficient and focused to learn and get the work done but doesn’t dwell on it and is remarkably unstressed. Instead, has a big life outside of school - sports, social, ECs, and downtime. Just a normal, very smart kid with a lot of energy and a huge capacity for both academics and people.

Cornell must have tons of similar kids, right? Would love to hear about that.

Cornell is huge you were right. For the kids that are engineering or computer science majors or even hard sciences their life is a grind.

However, unlike other schools, there is a thriving social scene if you are Greek. Tons of Greek Parties, date Parties once you were in a house, social events abound. And then the bars in College town. They have more than 30 or 40 fraternities and more than 20+ sororities.

They just don’t have D1 sports. It’s a pretty tight group though.

For any school, don’t go by what the tour guides show you. They’re typically horrible. The only Tour guide we loved was Wake Forest.

You need to meet with people who attend the college from your high school or that you otherwise know. If possible, spend an overnight and go out with them. See what a day in the life is really like.

Formal tours basically take you to the library, the dining halls and the dorms. There is more to college life than those three spots.

Cornell is D1 for all sports and just won the NCAA mens LAX championship.

Love that. Do kids actually go watch games? Lax? Soccer? Basketball? Football?

DC has friends on all the teams at their high school and goes to watch and cheer them on (when they’re not busy playing their own sports.) They want a school where other kids are similar - interested in going to watch the school teams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear Cornell described this way. But I don’t get it. Cornell is huge. How can it have a single vibe?

Curious to hear about people’s kids’ first-hand experiences there. DC is a work hard/play hard type. Is efficient and focused to learn and get the work done but doesn’t dwell on it and is remarkably unstressed. Instead, has a big life outside of school - sports, social, ECs, and downtime. Just a normal, very smart kid with a lot of energy and a huge capacity for both academics and people.

Cornell must have tons of similar kids, right? Would love to hear about that.

Cornell is huge you were right. For the kids that are engineering or computer science majors or even hard sciences their life is a grind.

However, unlike other schools, there is a thriving social scene if you are Greek. Tons of Greek Parties, date Parties once you were in a house, social events abound. And then the bars in College town. They have more than 30 or 40 fraternities and more than 20+ sororities.

They just don’t have D1 sports. It’s a pretty tight group though.

For any school, don’t go by what the tour guides show you. They’re typically horrible. The only Tour guide we loved was Wake Forest.

You need to meet with people who attend the college from your high school or that you otherwise know. If possible, spend an overnight and go out with them. See what a day in the life is really like.

Formal tours basically take you to the library, the dining halls and the dorms. There is more to college life than those three spots.

Yes they do.

Sorry, meant power conference sports. You know - ACC, B10, B12, SEC).....I do think it's part of the reason Stanford, Duke, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Michigan, and now Vanderbilt continue to have a different kind of cache.

Just FYI... https://news.cornell.edu/stories/2025/05/cornell-lacrosse-wins-national-championship-first-48-years

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear Cornell described this way. But I don’t get it. Cornell is huge. How can it have a single vibe?

Curious to hear about people’s kids’ first-hand experiences there. DC is a work hard/play hard type. Is efficient and focused to learn and get the work done but doesn’t dwell on it and is remarkably unstressed. Instead, has a big life outside of school - sports, social, ECs, and downtime. Just a normal, very smart kid with a lot of energy and a huge capacity for both academics and people.

Cornell must have tons of similar kids, right? Would love to hear about that.

Cornell is huge you were right. For the kids that are engineering or computer science majors or even hard sciences their life is a grind.

However, unlike other schools, there is a thriving social scene if you are Greek. Tons of Greek Parties, date Parties once you were in a house, social events abound. And then the bars in College town. They have more than 30 or 40 fraternities and more than 20+ sororities.

They just don’t have D1 sports. It’s a pretty tight group though.

For any school, don’t go by what the tour guides show you. They’re typically horrible. The only Tour guide we loved was Wake Forest.

You need to meet with people who attend the college from your high school or that you otherwise know. If possible, spend an overnight and go out with them. See what a day in the life is really like.

Formal tours basically take you to the library, the dining halls and the dorms. There is more to college life than those three spots.

Yes they do.

Sorry, meant power conference sports. You know - ACC, B10, B12, SEC).....I do think it's part of the reason Stanford, Duke, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Michigan, and now Vanderbilt continue to have a different kind of cache.

Anonymous wrote:Reading threads about certain schools that give intense vibe.

Is this mostly due to preconception?

No one or their kid has attended all top colleges, no one has sufficient knowledge to make an informed judgment on every school.

For the parents having kids in these schools, sometimes they tend to lean into the idea of “surviving intensity” as a badge of honor. Then what happened in echo chamber is that these labels get amplified online.

Programs/majors also differ. Student sub-culture also makes a difference.

Tell me about your DC's pleasant experience in an intense school.

Anonymous wrote:I think there is some truth to the rumors of intensity. For example, can you imagine MIT/Caltech as being laid back when it comes to academics? But some students thrive under these conditions because they were under-challenged before and are finally at a place where they can thrive. The problem is when a kid who would not thrive when the work is this hard selects such a school anyway for prestige or whatever reason.

Anonymous wrote:To me, there are two kinds of intensity - academic intensity, and intensity that permeates the entire college experience.

In helping DC build their list, we’ve been assuming the academics will be intense at any T20 school (and at many others, too.)

These schools enroll super bright kids, so expect the professors to move at a fast pace, assign a lot of reading/work between classes, and demand a high level of performance in discussions and on exams. As they should. Kids at these schools have proven they can handle the academic challenge (and hopefully most truly want it!)

Our questions are all about how that expected academic intensity affects the rest of the college experience at different schools.

How much does the academic intensity bleed out of the classrooms/libraries into the rest of kids’ lives?

Over time, does it tend to weigh kids down and dampen their appetite and energy for FUN clubs and activities (balanced lives), socializing (relationships), and just plain chilling out (rest/mental health)? Or do kids tend to aspire to a work hard/play hard approach? Kids look to their peers for direction - which way to the peer pressure/campus culture point?

I ask this as a Duke alum who graduated in the late 90s. Yes, the academics were tough. My friends and I worked a lot harder than we did in high school, and there were certainly points where the academic load weighed heavily on us!

But the overall vibe at Duke then was not to dwell (or worse, brag … ugh) on how hard we were grinding. We all knew that we were there for the academics, and we were 100% engaged. But there was no pride or swagger in the stress or the grind.

Instead, we were always trying to make time for the FUN stuff - the basketball games, parties, gym, concerts and shows on campus, clubs etc. Life outside the work.

A generation later, my kid is looking for something similar. Academics that are genuinely intense and challenging, but in an environment that promotes balance and release from that intensity.

We assume this exists. Would love to hear positive examples from T10 and T50 schools.

Anonymous wrote:To me, there are two kinds of intensity - academic intensity, and intensity that permeates the entire college experience.

In helping DC build their list, we’ve been assuming the academics will be intense at any T20 school (and at many others, too.)

These schools enroll super bright kids, so expect the professors to move at a fast pace, assign a lot of reading/work between classes, and demand a high level of performance in discussions and on exams. As they should. Kids at these schools have proven they can handle the academic challenge (and hopefully most truly want it!)

Our questions are all about how that expected academic intensity affects the rest of the college experience at different schools.

How much does the academic intensity bleed out of the classrooms/libraries into the rest of kids’ lives?

Over time, does it tend to weigh kids down and dampen their appetite and energy for FUN clubs and activities (balanced lives), socializing (relationships), and just plain chilling out (rest/mental health)? Or do kids tend to aspire to a work hard/play hard approach? Kids look to their peers for direction - which way to the peer pressure/campus culture point?

I ask this as a Duke alum who graduated in the late 90s. Yes, the academics were tough. My friends and I worked a lot harder than we did in high school, and there were certainly points where the academic load weighed heavily on us!

But the overall vibe at Duke then was not to dwell (or worse, brag … ugh) on how hard we were grinding. We all knew that we were there for the academics, and we were 100% engaged. But there was no pride or swagger in the stress or the grind.

Instead, we were always trying to make time for the FUN stuff - the basketball games, parties, gym, concerts and shows on campus, clubs etc. Life outside the work.

A generation later, my kid is looking for something similar. Academics that are genuinely intense and challenging, but in an environment that promotes balance and release from that intensity.

We assume this exists. Would love to hear positive examples from T10 and T50 schools.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always hear Cornell described this way. But I don’t get it. Cornell is huge. How can it have a single vibe?

Curious to hear about people’s kids’ first-hand experiences there. DC is a work hard/play hard type. Is efficient and focused to learn and get the work done but doesn’t dwell on it and is remarkably unstressed. Instead, has a big life outside of school - sports, social, ECs, and downtime. Just a normal, very smart kid with a lot of energy and a huge capacity for both academics and people.

Cornell must have tons of similar kids, right? Would love to hear about that.

Cornell is huge you were right. For the kids that are engineering or computer science majors or even hard sciences their life is a grind.

However, unlike other schools, there is a thriving social scene if you are Greek. Tons of Greek Parties, date Parties once you were in a house, social events abound. And then the bars in College town. They have more than 30 or 40 fraternities and more than 20+ sororities.

They just don’t have D1 sports. It’s a pretty tight group though.

For any school, don’t go by what the tour guides show you. They’re typically horrible. The only Tour guide we loved was Wake Forest.

You need to meet with people who attend the college from your high school or that you otherwise know. If possible, spend an overnight and go out with them. See what a day in the life is really like.

Formal tours basically take you to the library, the dining halls and the dorms. There is more to college life than those three spots.

Cornell is D1 for all sports and just won the NCAA mens LAX championship.

Love that. Do kids actually go watch games? Lax? Soccer? Basketball? Football?

DC has friends on all the teams at their high school and goes to watch and cheer them on (when they’re not busy playing their own sports.) They want a school where other kids are similar - interested in going to watch the school teams.

DD is 6 weeks into freshman year at cornell and having a blast in arts & sciences. taking a bunch of intro classes (unsure of major), joined clubs, homecoming this weekend so friends are going to football game, went to applefest/ithaca farmers market, fall weather has been beautiful. she definitely works hard but is also getting out a ton and having fun meeting new friends. she was really disciplined and hard working in high school (highly competitive sports, rigorous academics, extracurriculars) so the transition has been ok. i think she also tried not to overload her first semester with hard classes and prioritized meeting friends so that has helped a lot.