Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know. It's okay. Land the helicopter. To him, I've only said encouraging comments--great job; I love to see how hard you're working; As long as you do your best, that's all that matters.

It's killing me though. I know it's the grade he deserves. It's AP Seminar and for my math loving science kid, this a new skill set, and one he can't power through. I also recognize that of all his classes, this is the most valuable at the moment. BC Calc is a breeze and chem isn't challenging nor is APES. He's not a humanities kid so he takes honors level English and History and won't go near the AP classes in these subjects. This is his first real writing class. He's leaning towards physics and says he wants his Phd--AP Seminar and AP Research are the classes that are going to give him those skills.

I will never share my thoughts with him but I had hopes that he would get through HS with straight As. I also realize that one or two Bs won't be the end and he won't be applying to T50 schools. So I suppose in the end it doesn't matter. But it hurts me.

You need mental health if you get worked up over a B

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP, my son may also be heading for a B in Spanish 4, as a freshman, his last B being in Spanish 1, in 6th grade... I know that PP say it's OK, but honestly, it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets all As, or at least that you need all As to get into a good school by reading this forum... there is at least 1 thread where a parent wants to move their kid out of Spanish 4 because they're getting a B, and a lot of posters kind of imply this is a normal reaction (so you can only continue with foreign languages if you get an A at each level?)
And yes, I also spend way too much time worrying about this and if it means my son won't be able get into UMCP for science or engineering despite having all As for everything else and routinely scoring above 99th percentile on MAP -M....

As the parent of a current senior and two older kids in college, let me give you this unsolicited piece of advice.

Accept the fact right now that your son very well may not get into UMCP, especially in those majors. The odds are against it in fact.

But so what? Are you going to disown him? Are you going to slit your wrists or drink yourself into oblivion? Is this your goal or his?

Having this narrow of a goal for a 14 or 15 year old is a recipe for disaster, if you want to maintain a decent relationship with your son in these crucial last few years that he is in your daily life.

Putting aside whether or not it's the right thing, if a single B can make the difference for getting into a state school that's 1) excellent 2) cheaper than other options 3) close to family, it's perhaps understandable why parents can worry excessively about this stuff.

No it’s not. Anyone seriously worried enough and 1B and needs to step outside and see the state of the world. This kid is working hard and is likely being stressed out knowing how disappointed his parent is going to be about a ‘B’. Meanwhile knowing that most other kids are not doing as well.

My brother got some Bs in high school. At one point he had to drop from Honors to regular, I forget in what subject but maybe math. He is now a ivy league PhD scientist working at a biotech company. I got straight As in high school and while I am doing okay, I am nowhere near as successful as him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I know. It's okay. Land the helicopter. To him, I've only said encouraging comments--great job; I love to see how hard you're working; As long as you do your best, that's all that matters.

It's killing me though. I know it's the grade he deserves. It's AP Seminar and for my math loving science kid, this a new skill set, and one he can't power through. I also recognize that of all his classes, this is the most valuable at the moment. BC Calc is a breeze and chem isn't challenging nor is APES. He's not a humanities kid so he takes honors level English and History and won't go near the AP classes in these subjects. This is his first real writing class. He's leaning towards physics and says he wants his Phd--AP Seminar and AP Research are the classes that are going to give him those skills.

I will never share my thoughts with him but I had hopes that he would get through HS with straight As. I also realize that one or two Bs won't be the end and he won't be applying to T50 schools. So I suppose in the end it doesn't matter. But it hurts me.

As a former perfectionist, be grateful that he’s going to get the opportunity to not be “perfect”. Straight As for the sake of straight As is not an actual achievement that really matters. But it can become a problem with avoiding risk in the future and being overly stressed/anxious to the detriment of other things. If you haven’t been communicating that what is most important is challenging yourself, working hard and effectively, and adapting when things turn out differently than expected, now is your opportunity to adapt.

+100000

Eventually he won't be "perfect" and will have to figure out how to keep pursuing his goals. That's an important life skill that's best to learn early.

And the skill is NOT how to work harder to maintain perfection, but how to accept that being less than perfect isn't a barrier to achieving your goals.

Anonymous wrote:PP. The above is not just theoretical, as we have a DC this past year who had 1B and experienced exactly that - accepted for an LEP major in UMDCP, but not in the Honors program. It does not matter that DC had excellent SAT, ECs, essay, and others qualifications. DC is now in a private T20 with full ride merit.

Which T20 does that?

PP. The above is not just theoretical, as we have a DC this past year who had 1B and experienced exactly that - accepted for an LEP major in UMDCP, but not in the Honors program. It does not matter that DC had excellent SAT, ECs, essay, and others qualifications. DC is now in a private T20 with full ride merit.

OP, I understand this is probably more a concern for you than your DC. As others have alluded, it is OK to have one or two Bs, even for most T20 schools which tend to have 'holistic' review - the totality of GPA, class rigors, SAT, ECs, essay, others. However, in case your DC is in Maryland, it is true that if your DC is in a W school and has an unweighted GPA of less than 4.0 by summer of junior year, than it does impact their acceptance status in MD flag state school, i.e. UMD CP, even if their SAT score and ECs are excellent. Most likely they will be accepted by UMD CP for major desired, but not in the Honors program, which mean they will not qualify for the Banneker Key Scholarship. The best way to verify this information is by looking it up yourself > download CDS of UMD CP 2024 (excel) > click on worksheet CDS-C and scroll to C11 > % who has GPA 4.: 91.6%. That means if your DC has a 3.98 with 1B then they immediately will at best be at the bottom 8.4% of the applicant pool from GPA standpoint. Of course there is SAT score (if submittted) and others (EC, essay, etc.) but UMD strongly consider grades and rigor of classes, as shown in C7.
https://www.irpa.umd.edu/InstitutionalData/cds.html

My kid is at a T15 Liberal Arts School and had several Bs.

Relax. If your kid is clearly focused on Math and Sciences, a B in an unrelated class will be more than OK.

Besides the population cliff means the horror stories from the last few years should be a thing of the past. It will be easier to get into college and that B won't mean a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP, my son may also be heading for a B in Spanish 4, as a freshman, his last B being in Spanish 1, in 6th grade... I know that PP say it's OK, but honestly, it's easy to get the impression that everyone gets all As, or at least that you need all As to get into a good school by reading this forum... there is at least 1 thread where a parent wants to move their kid out of Spanish 4 because they're getting a B, and a lot of posters kind of imply this is a normal reaction (so you can only continue with foreign languages if you get an A at each level?)
And yes, I also spend way too much time worrying about this and if it means my son won't be able get into UMCP for science or engineering despite having all As for everything else and routinely scoring above 99th percentile on MAP -M....

As the parent of a current senior and two older kids in college, let me give you this unsolicited piece of advice.

Accept the fact right now that your son very well may not get into UMCP, especially in those majors. The odds are against it in fact.

But so what? Are you going to disown him? Are you going to slit your wrists or drink yourself into oblivion? Is this your goal or his?

Having this narrow of a goal for a 14 or 15 year old is a recipe for disaster, if you want to maintain a decent relationship with your son in these crucial last few years that he is in your daily life.

Putting aside whether or not it's the right thing, if a single B can make the difference for getting into a state school that's 1) excellent 2) cheaper than other options 3) close to family, it's perhaps understandable why parents can worry excessively about this stuff.

It’s hard to get into UMD with straight As nowadays. That B isn’t really the problem.

We got in-state tuition (merit aid) at an OOS school that our DD loves more than UMD. There are plenty of other options.

My DD graduated HS this last summer. She said that
"everyone gets A's" so many times in HS that I have to believe it.

Better to differentiate yourself in another form, AP exams, sports, EC's, SSL, courses taken outside of school, yada yada.

OP, get a grip. Your poor kid.

If he ends up in research he needs to write papers that communicate clearly and gracefully. Especially if English is his first language, poor writing greases the skids for a desk reject.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you’re sure your ds is headed for a B in AP Seminar. Students are not supposed to be finding out their grades on each assignment as they go along because that counts as feedback from the teacher and teachers aren’t allowed to give feedback in this course. The grades for the course are largely determined by big projects, and none of those projects would have been due yet. It seems like this is all projection from you.

My kid is in AP Seminar and has had independent grades based on reading a book Just Mercy. They have not started the large scale projects that are evaluated by the College board yet. It is my understanding that these courses are still required under the new grading policy to have at least one graded assignment per week outside of the projects.

Sucks for the kid, and not talking about the fact that he's getting a B

I don’t understand why you’re sure your ds is headed for a B in AP Seminar. Students are not supposed to be finding out their grades on each assignment as they go along because that counts as feedback from the teacher and teachers aren’t allowed to give feedback in this course. The grades for the course are largely determined by big projects, and none of those projects would have been due yet. It seems like this is all projection from you.