We live in the city, and my son and his friends go to dances/homecoming, etc. -- but they usually just stay for 20 minutes and then leave to go wandering around the city.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Whelp, I don't know what to tell you. My DD17 and her friends sound very similar to yours (not the most popular but on the periphery) and they would all love to be dating a mature nice boy who is interested in them, and in doing things together. Instead, they are going to HoCo as a group of girls (again) because no one showed any interest in going with them, even as just a group. How are any of these people ever going to get married? Will the nerve to date magically appear in college?

I guess we have to go back to an era of arranged marriages and dating!

TBH that really was a good way to do things.

Maybe not 100% of the arranged, but the vast majority of marriages should be arranged.

Most people these days obviously have pad "pickers" since divorce rates keep increasing with each generation.

No, my kids were very interested in going fit school events, but mainly changed the culture around what these events meant.

There was no proposal, boyfriend-girlfriend, being wasted, popular kids, pairing up and “losing virginity at a motel” kind stuff.

Kids dressed up, came over to our house for pictures, food and drinks, and were driven to the events by parents. Party was open event for all classmates.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Whelp, I don't know what to tell you. My DD17 and her friends sound very similar to yours (not the most popular but on the periphery) and they would all love to be dating a mature nice boy who is interested in them, and in doing things together. Instead, they are going to HoCo as a group of girls (again) because no one showed any interest in going with them, even as just a group. How are any of these people ever going to get married? Will the nerve to date magically appear in college?

I guess we have to go back to an era of arranged marriages and dating!

I wonder if your HoCo is tonight. If so this completely sounds like my son’s school. They’ve all known each other since Kindergarten and I think that makes it hard too.

Homecoming a prom are not a huge thing at my kids’ schools.

DS is at an all boys HS. Kids generally go in big groups and just meet up at the dance, if they go at all. Some take dates but the vast majority don’t. The girls from the sister HS do the same-just go in groups. His homecoming is next week and he’s still debating if he wants to go or not.

DD went to the girl’s HS. It was more of a production with the girls (getting ready, dresses, etc) but again not a huge deal. She never took a date. They went as a big group. Same deal with prom. Going without a date was completely normal. The only time she had a date was senior year.

DD likes the prep and hanging with friends, but hates the actual dance - music too loud!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Whelp, I don't know what to tell you. My DD17 and her friends sound very similar to yours (not the most popular but on the periphery) and they would all love to be dating a mature nice boy who is interested in them, and in doing things together. Instead, they are going to HoCo as a group of girls (again) because no one showed any interest in going with them, even as just a group. How are any of these people ever going to get married? Will the nerve to date magically appear in college?

My DS didn’t really date at all in high school and rarely went to the dances, but met his first girlfriend after a year in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Welcome to the world of socialism and feminism. It's a rot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Whelp, I don't know what to tell you. My DD17 and her friends sound very similar to yours (not the most popular but on the periphery) and they would all love to be dating a mature nice boy who is interested in them, and in doing things together. Instead, they are going to HoCo as a group of girls (again) because no one showed any interest in going with them, even as just a group. How are any of these people ever going to get married? Will the nerve to date magically appear in college?

Anonymous wrote:Boys don’t.

Most girls still care, and they are really bummed that boys aren’t interested in dating girls any more.

Mom of a boy here.

I think it seems like it's the opposite! My son and his friends all want to date girls and the girls seem completely uninterested (this is 11th grade). This group of boys is not the MOST popular boys (like the top five or six in the grade) but they are just on the periphery of that. Plenty of decent-looking, athletic, smart enough boys.

Several girls said yes to homecoming proposals to these boys, but it sounds like they have no interest in actually dating them. My son laments the fact the girls just want to hook up with different boys at parties but not actually date anyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a non American married to an American DH and his promposal stories honestly blew my mind. Elaborate cutesy stunts to ask girls out for dances multiple times a year over a school career. He said it was a big drag but bc everyone was doing it he felt pressured to do it too. I get why boys are opting out!

God forbid boys put any effort at all into respectful dating...

Is an elaborate sign that exists to take a video/photo required for respectful dating? I think respectful dating happens between two people in private.

Well no worries they are doing that either. They aren't trying to date girls at all. I'm hoping humanity doesn't die out due to lack of procreation. Only half kidding.

I went to homecoming once in the 80s and hated it, really wasn't for people who weren't already in a relationship. We basically just wore outfits we already had, so that was fairly inexpensive. Prom was fun but senior year, but we has it in the decorated school gym so most of the cost was the dress / outfit. I wasn't sure even then it was worth it.

Now homecomings and proms cost a large amount of money to attend, and wear what is popular. Makes
sense more kids are deciding to sit them out.

Where I live it's still pretty popular. My son brought a date and did the flowers/sign "hoco proposal" his Freshman year, went with just a group of friends his sophomore year and is bringing a date this year (and did the hoco proposal). This year he was very ambivalent about whether to ask someone because he didn't want to do a hoco proposal, but his friends were doing it (and the girls conveyed through their friends who they wanted to go with) so he did too.

My younger son isn't in high school yet, but based on personality I think he'll be more reluctant to ask someone. My older son is more of an extrovert.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a non American married to an American DH and his promposal stories honestly blew my mind. Elaborate cutesy stunts to ask girls out for dances multiple times a year over a school career. He said it was a big drag but bc everyone was doing it he felt pressured to do it too. I get why boys are opting out!

God forbid boys put any effort at all into respectful dating...

Is an elaborate sign that exists to take a video/photo required for respectful dating? I think respectful dating happens between two people in private.

I never cared about it in the '90's and my DD didn't go to her prom. I am not sure her school even did homecoming or even had a football team. Pretty sure they had a soccer team?