Anonymous wrote:How important is it for you to see your kid at the holidays? You’re the only person who dan decide that.

Even long after I was more than self-sufficient (and more to the point long after credit cards and EZ Pass) my mom always insisted on giving me $50 “for gas!” in cash whenever i visited. She wanted me to feel a little taken care of and like she saw the effort I put into visiting.

I miss it now that she’s no longer here.

This 1000%

If you can afford it, why not? The way we view it, we want to be at our home with our animals rather than US traveling to the kids (2 kids, they all live in different areas, both are 2 flights away and 2-3K miles away). They have 1 bedroom places, so we would be paying for hotels and rental cars, etc and for one kid to travel anyhow. So we pay to fly them home whenever they want to come. And will continue to do so even once they have a partner and have grandkids, unless they want us to visit them then.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t have extra money these days due to a recent medical thing but we will pay for DC to come home at Thanksgiving and at Christmas. Recent college grad. TBH I think we will offer to pay until DC declines the offer.

Same

To answer the question, I think it naturally fizzles out by late 20s when people start partnering up and having their own children.

Nothing is better than having parents who take care of you as an adult. Filling gas, buying you a suit for work, flying you home for the holidays. You don’t need them to, but it’s nice to be treated.

When DC 1 graduated from Law School and when DC 2 got their second promotion it just happened naturally. They treat us to dinners sometimes too. I think it is a failure if your adult children have means but don’t step up or at least offer to pay their own way and more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents never paid for me to come home for Thanksgiving even in college (so I didn't) and my MIL still pays for us if we're flying and we're in our 40s. I think anywhere on that spectrum is fine as long as you're polite about it. I wouldn't make it contingent on meeting some kind of goal, like not dropping out or working or whatever, but you can stop whenever you want.

MIL pays for you at 40? Someone has mommy issues, ick!

I’m nearly 40 and my parents and in-laws still fund family travel. Why would they want their kids to use $10k which can be passed tax free now?

This is my plan. I will pay for an annual family vacation and airfare for trips home forever - this is their early inheritance.