Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:20     Subject: Re:Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
How much larger would the apartment or house in option 2 be?
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:17     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There are so many excellent public schools in NYC that I’m scratching my head why you wouldn’t just rent a comfortable apartment and skip the private schools.


Really? Pretty much every family I know made a decision similar to OP’s. It’s expensive prices or bad publics.

It’s why people move to the burbs.


I know plenty - there are very good elementary schools and then they did application high schools. OP hasn’t fully spelled out her situation in terms of the kids ages etc. at a minimum elementary and MS then private HS is a possibility reasonable for most.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:11     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
My friends in NYC do either #1 or #2 because they refuse to never see their kids and it’s also impossible to be 2 hours from home with school age kids (really hard to make school events, get there quickly in an emergency, etc).
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:05     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
OP you have to move out of the area.

The people who are suggesting NY publics likely have lower standards. NYC has terrible public schools. There are some decent schools but few and far between and it’s not like the burbs where you can enroll and send your kid through K-12 to good schools. Everyone I know using a NYC public is playing some insane lottery or magnet game and still renting.

What you need to do is move unless you’re married to someone who is a hedge fund manager or a similar earning type of job. Since you’re limited to 1000 sq feet I assume you’re not.

Living in NYC is stupid if you’re white UMC and not raking in millions.

Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:00     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:There are so many excellent public schools in NYC that I’m scratching my head why you wouldn’t just rent a comfortable apartment and skip the private schools.


Really? Pretty much every family I know made a decision similar to OP’s. It’s expensive prices or bad publics.

It’s why people move to the burbs.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 07:59     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am confused. I literally grew up in Great Neck Long Island. My house was on Great Neck/Little Neck border. Little Neck is Queens NYC and I was on "long island" by like 50 feet I guess.

I could walk to LIRR train in two minutes. Was a 3-33 minute train ride.

Thats almost the same 30 minute commute you have but I had award winning free public schools.

At work we also had people who lived in Rockville, Centre, Garden City and Manhasset which all have award winning schools close in. If you live walking distance to station those towns are like 35-40 minute commutes.

At KPMG they are moving headquarters to be more Long Island railroad friendly. It used to be the 345 Park Ave headquarters was perfect as all the Wasp partners lived in Westchester.

But now more of the younger ones live in the towns I mentioned and a lot have Hampton Houses if Partners etc. and just a lot easier to live in a neighborhood like Garden City by LIRR and be home in 40 minutes, kids go to great public schools and then have a semi traffic free ride to beach or hampton house on weekend.

My old Partner lived in Garden City and he take clients to Keens Steakhouse or Knick games at MSG and often be home before the Manhattan partners as LIRR downstairs.

The current Head of KPMG lives in Garden City and so does tons of rich people on Wall Street and Banking and God Forbid they sent their kids to Public Schools as they are really good


Not OP, but depends where your office is. Mine is all the way downtown and from westchester or Long Island, the commute is long. Not factoring in driving to the train and parking (which I’d have to do because I don’t live walking distance to the train) the commute is:

Waiting for the train:5-15 minutes
Train: 35-40 minutes (best case)
Walk to subway, wait for train: 10 minutes
Express subway downtown: 10 minutes
Walk from subway to office, get through crowded lobby to desk: 15 minutes Walk

That’s 75-90 minutes, without driving to the train and parking. Which is another 10-15 minutes. That’s a very realistic commute to downtown Manhattan from southern westchester or Long Island. It’s a pain in the ass and you won’t see your kids.


I did that that commute for 20 years. But since I worked on Wall Street I did not do Great Neck. But I lived on Southshore. I took LIRR to Brooklyn, the two train right to wall street stop right by my office. I drove to train but it was only a 2-4 minute ride as I lived 3/4 mile away and had a parking pass. My train was nearly always on time in morning. Waiting at best 3-4 minutes. If you switch at Atlantic Terminal much shorter to walk to 2 train. I could do it door to door in one hour 15 minutes easy.

Wow here is my comute on days I did not work late leave work at 515 pm, I could make it to Brooklyn in train running for 540pm train no problem. Around 45 minute train ride around 5 minutes off train and get to house. I be home around 630 pm. Hardly late at all. And on train I could nap, read email, catch up work laptop as have a hot spot, heck drink a beer have a snack. You can legally drink LIRR and they sell beer on platform. It was my most relaxing time of day. Out of Brooklyn less crowded. When I got home 630 pm I was decompressed. DMV traffic so bad I often end up home at almost 630 pm all stressed from traffic. Not relaxed from watching netflix on train or napping.


Tell me you’re a man without telling me you’re a man.

OP doesn’t want to commute so she can drink beer on a train. It’s terrible for you and makes you fat. OP wants to spend time with her kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 07:55     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:I am confused. I literally grew up in Great Neck Long Island. My house was on Great Neck/Little Neck border. Little Neck is Queens NYC and I was on "long island" by like 50 feet I guess.

I could walk to LIRR train in two minutes. Was a 3-33 minute train ride.

Thats almost the same 30 minute commute you have but I had award winning free public schools.

At work we also had people who lived in Rockville, Centre, Garden City and Manhasset which all have award winning schools close in. If you live walking distance to station those towns are like 35-40 minute commutes.

At KPMG they are moving headquarters to be more Long Island railroad friendly. It used to be the 345 Park Ave headquarters was perfect as all the Wasp partners lived in Westchester.

But now more of the younger ones live in the towns I mentioned and a lot have Hampton Houses if Partners etc. and just a lot easier to live in a neighborhood like Garden City by LIRR and be home in 40 minutes, kids go to great public schools and then have a semi traffic free ride to beach or hampton house on weekend.

My old Partner lived in Garden City and he take clients to Keens Steakhouse or Knick games at MSG and often be home before the Manhattan partners as LIRR downstairs.

The current Head of KPMG lives in Garden City and so does tons of rich people on Wall Street and Banking and God Forbid they sent their kids to Public Schools as they are really good


You’re not being honest about the commute. You’re also assuming people work right next to Penn Station. Most people have to take a subway or walk once they get into NY.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 02:11     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my lower Westchester town, before school care starts at 7:30 and after school lasts until 6. Plenty of homes are walking distance to the train station (mine included) and the express is 30 minutes to Grand Central. My office is another 15 minutes on the subway. Counting walking, etc., the commute is just under an hour. We have tons of space and the schools are free and excellent.

My sister lives in Brooklyn D15, and her kids also go to an excellent free school. She has less space than we do but is still comfortable, and her commute is shorter by about 20 minutes.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, but you need to familiarize yourself with the many good public schools in NYC and the surrounding area!


I’m the pp who lives in westchester. 7:30-6pm is a REALLY long day for kids to be in before care, school and aftercare. And don’t they age out of before/after care once they hit middle school - then what? Kids need an adult around, don’t they? Asking, not judging - my kids are younger than yours and I’m trying to sort out my own RTO demands. Working in thr city feels really undoable if you want quantity of time with your kids


You need a nanny or stay at home parent. My spouse does a 60-90 minute drive commute each way from VA to MD and its sole sucking. One accident can set you back hours and its the only in/out. They cannot switch jobs and moving is financially not worth it but if I was moving I'd go closer to work.


We have a sitter and a wfh parent and some days we struggle.


If you have a sitter and a wfh parent, then you have a problem. This makes no sense when there are two available adults and your sitter handles most things.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 21:10     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Option 1 and consider finding another job and relocating by the time the kids are in middle school.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 20:36     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
How many kids and how old?
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 20:32     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
https://www.genevaschool.net/
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 20:32     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Geneva School in Manhattan, 36k. Christian but not dogmatic.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 18:53     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Where do your other coworkers live? Do you need to live in NYC? If there are other offices, it may be cheaper to relocate. Also, a lot of people send their kids to parochial schools (I've heard they're typically 50% non-Catholic) and that's a more price sensitive option. I would not send your kid to a 65k private school while living in 1000 square foot apartment, they will feel very out of place.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 17:07     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my lower Westchester town, before school care starts at 7:30 and after school lasts until 6. Plenty of homes are walking distance to the train station (mine included) and the express is 30 minutes to Grand Central. My office is another 15 minutes on the subway. Counting walking, etc., the commute is just under an hour. We have tons of space and the schools are free and excellent.

My sister lives in Brooklyn D15, and her kids also go to an excellent free school. She has less space than we do but is still comfortable, and her commute is shorter by about 20 minutes.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, but you need to familiarize yourself with the many good public schools in NYC and the surrounding area!


I’m the pp who lives in westchester. 7:30-6pm is a REALLY long day for kids to be in before care, school and aftercare. And don’t they age out of before/after care once they hit middle school - then what? Kids need an adult around, don’t they? Asking, not judging - my kids are younger than yours and I’m trying to sort out my own RTO demands. Working in thr city feels really undoable if you want quantity of time with your kids


I’m the other Westchester PP. Spouse and I each do 2 days a week in office and alternate days. So one of us always does dropoff at regular time (no before care) and we pick up from aftercare at 5:30 most days. But we know people who do 7:30-6 daily. And a lot of families with nannies.
Anonymous
Post 09/13/2025 16:22     Subject: Which of these 3 options in NYC as a primary earning mom who has to RTO?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In my lower Westchester town, before school care starts at 7:30 and after school lasts until 6. Plenty of homes are walking distance to the train station (mine included) and the express is 30 minutes to Grand Central. My office is another 15 minutes on the subway. Counting walking, etc., the commute is just under an hour. We have tons of space and the schools are free and excellent.

My sister lives in Brooklyn D15, and her kids also go to an excellent free school. She has less space than we do but is still comfortable, and her commute is shorter by about 20 minutes.

There are a lot of different ways to do this, but you need to familiarize yourself with the many good public schools in NYC and the surrounding area!


I’m the pp who lives in westchester. 7:30-6pm is a REALLY long day for kids to be in before care, school and aftercare. And don’t they age out of before/after care once they hit middle school - then what? Kids need an adult around, don’t they? Asking, not judging - my kids are younger than yours and I’m trying to sort out my own RTO demands. Working in thr city feels really undoable if you want quantity of time with your kids


You need a nanny or stay at home parent. My spouse does a 60-90 minute drive commute each way from VA to MD and its sole sucking. One accident can set you back hours and its the only in/out. They cannot switch jobs and moving is financially not worth it but if I was moving I'd go closer to work.


We have a sitter and a wfh parent and some days we struggle.