Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:33     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. It won't make anything better for your son.

It will feed the raging mama bear that wants vengeance but it will not help your son. And it may actually cause more grief for him socially, or make him feel humiliated, or...

So just don't do it.

Also, the girl is also just a kid. And a kid who is juggling 3 relationships and major secrets and now what is probably huge fallout from that, is struggling mightily with her own issues - for sure.

And she has a mom who loves her, and probably wants her to be a good and decent person.

So just prevent yourself from doing anything like what you're contemplating.

Comfort your son. Lean in with him. He will be ok in time and you will then be able to feel somewhat calmer.

(Acknowledging here that I still bear a MASSIVE grudge against a child and a negligent mother whose actions resulted in harm coming to my child years ago. It was an accident. I'm still furious. It's a problem I acknowledge...


This is really good. OP please come back to this and read it again when you feel calmer.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:33     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

As another poster stated, please be very careful and what language you use around the house talking about this. Your son is hurting and you really don’t want this to become how he feels women and relationships. This went poorly, and he invested in the wrong person. It’s normal to have a lot of feelings under the circumstances.

When we are intimate with someone, we run the risk of being hurt by them. That’s the lesson. People can disappoint us and it’s really important that we know who we are and make good choices in our partners.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:25     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.


Good job missing the point. You're quite dim, so no reason to continue this conversation with you.


Hahaha, see?

What point did I miss?


No, I don't. Can you explain it like I'm five?
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:24     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


You would have gotten a lot more sympathy here if you had posted that this was your daughter and her boyfriend was seeing two other girls on the side. Posters would have been fuming and calling him all kinds of names. The constant misandry on DCUM is astounding. I really hope it's not as bad IRL.

Anyway, I understand your anger and frustration. The best thing you can do is empathize with your son and vent to your DH. Don't succumb to the desire to call her what she is, just acknowledge and help him figure out what might have been warning signs in hindsight so he will know what to look out for going forward. There are plenty of psychos out there of both genders.


I guarantee you always scream dumb shit like that without any proof. I am a mother of a son aproximately the same age and would never contact the other parent. Are you insane????


Who said anything about contacting the other parent? God, you're an idiot. Proof of what? Misandry on DCUM? Are your reading skills that poor? No need to answer, it's pretty obvious. Pity for your son to have such a moron for a parent. Yikes. But I bet you'll be happy to come back here and blather a bunch of BS about an Ivy league degree and a lot of other lies.


The literal title of the post is "tell me not the message her mom." Careful when you call people dumb. At least be sure you're capable of reading first.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:24     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.


Good job missing the point. You're quite dim, so no reason to continue this conversation with you.


DP- when you have to resort to insults, you've lost the argument.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:23     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.


Good job missing the point. You're quite dim, so no reason to continue this conversation with you.


Hahaha, see?

What point did I miss?
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:23     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

LOL at the misogyny comments. The girl was literally lying to three boys she was sleeping with. She was trash.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:23     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


You would have gotten a lot more sympathy here if you had posted that this was your daughter and her boyfriend was seeing two other girls on the side. Posters would have been fuming and calling him all kinds of names. The constant misandry on DCUM is astounding. I really hope it's not as bad IRL.

Anyway, I understand your anger and frustration. The best thing you can do is empathize with your son and vent to your DH. Don't succumb to the desire to call her what she is, just acknowledge and help him figure out what might have been warning signs in hindsight so he will know what to look out for going forward. There are plenty of psychos out there of both genders.


I guarantee you always scream dumb shit like that without any proof. I am a mother of a son aproximately the same age and would never contact the other parent. Are you insane????


Who said anything about contacting the other parent? God, you're an idiot. Proof of what? Misandry on DCUM? Are your reading skills that poor? No need to answer, it's pretty obvious. Pity for your son to have such a moron for a parent. Yikes. But I bet you'll be happy to come back here and blather a bunch of BS about an Ivy league degree and a lot of other lies.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:22     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.


Good job missing the point. You're quite dim, so no reason to continue this conversation with you.


What point did I miss?
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:22     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


I don't believe this at all, especially with social media/snap/insta. How did she string along 3 guys with no photo evidence?


With three profiles probably. Not that hard. Who cares what you believe anyway? You're just one of those shrews who always has to contradict anything an OP says.

-not OP.


This is pretty unfeasible in this day and age. Tired of trolls wanting to bash teen girls.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:21     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


Judging by your reaction, your son was raised by a psycho and that’s the level of crazy that feels normal to him. Of course he sought out a girl who was a little crazy for his first relationship.

Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:20     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.


Good job missing the point. You're quite dim, so no reason to continue this conversation with you.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:20     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


You would have gotten a lot more sympathy here if you had posted that this was your daughter and her boyfriend was seeing two other girls on the side. Posters would have been fuming and calling him all kinds of names. The constant misandry on DCUM is astounding. I really hope it's not as bad IRL.

Anyway, I understand your anger and frustration. The best thing you can do is empathize with your son and vent to your DH. Don't succumb to the desire to call her what she is, just acknowledge and help him figure out what might have been warning signs in hindsight so he will know what to look out for going forward. There are plenty of psychos out there of both genders.


I guarantee you always scream dumb shit like that without any proof. I am a mother of a son aproximately the same age and would never contact the other parent. Are you insane????
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:18     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


What part of the words "girlfriend of 9 months" is not clear to you?


At 17. Get real! While it sounds like OP's son had some real feelings or at the minimum is feeling like a fool for being lied to, they're just dumb kids. Lick your wounds and move on.


I guarantee you wouldn't be so quick to dismiss this if it were your daughter on the receiving end.


I have a nearly 17-year-old son and I know exactly what I would do and say. I'm raising him, not his girlfriends. I would also feel like a part of me failed if they were so freely having sex at such a young age. But I digress. I would be supportive of him and comfort him. I would never ever message the other mom. I guess if they are old enough to be having sex, they are old enough to handle their relatioshop without parents getting involved. Guaranteed he didn't need his mommy when he got that boner.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2025 10:18     Subject: Tell Me Not To Message Her Mom

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She’s not doing anything wrong unless she was lying to him. Teenagers do not have to be in committed relationships. Calm down, Mom.


She was cheating. That's lying.


We don’t know that. That’s his perspective.


OP here. She was cheating. And cheating is lying. That is why my son is so upset. He 100% believed (and was told) that they were exclusive. So were the other two boys apparently. The boys have spoken and her cover completely unraveled. She is a psycho little tramp, to put it mildly.


I would just chalk it up to an unfortunate life lesson for your son. There is no need to involve the girl’s mother, she can’t undo anything and it will gain nothing for your son. He has learned a painful lesson and sadly one he may encounter again. It stinks to see our kids heartbroken at any age but most of us don’t escape a heartbreak at some point.

Help him learn the skills to deal with it rather than focusing on her actions.