Anonymous wrote:My neighbor in a HUGE million+ home had a go fund me for her husband's "memorial" held in their home. No service or food etc. Was weird ..not sure what we were supposed to fund.

Millions have been donated for Charlie Kirk’s wife and children and I believe he alone was worth over $10 million dollars.

A friend set one up for us after a horrific accident. By the time we found out about it, it was in the 5 figures. We didn't need the money. It was awkward telling our friend we didn't want it set up and was awkward explaining to people who would ask why we shut it down. It also wasn't super easy to close it. Don't know if things have changed.

One time i donated to a cousin and within a matter of a month or two she was posting pictures of her and her family on a 10 day Disney Cruise.

It did kind of piss me off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.

I did donate to someone whose house burned down. I'm the PP who would prob not donate to a super wealthy person unless they were a close and trusted friend.

That's what homeowner's insurance is for. Family and friends should not serve as surrogates for normal insurance policies - the person asking for money saved the cost of insurance premiums and thereby chose to self-insure. How did that become everybody else's problem and responsibility to fix?

Anonymous wrote:I donate what I feel comfortable with when I know the person or know someone who knows them, but I only go one degree of separation. I recently donated to a single mom who lost a child. I don’t think many people have insurance for that.

The tragic nature of the event should not have resulted in a financial crisis for the mother, and there should be no need for fundraising in connection with the event. The child presumably contributed no income to the family which has now stopped. Final expenses can be managed so as to be minimized, and ion any case should be within the means of anyone with even a modest emergency fund.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.

I did donate to someone whose house burned down. I'm the PP who would prob not donate to a super wealthy person unless they were a close and trusted friend.

My house burned down and I didn’t have a go fund me for my kids and I. Insurance handled things. I would have loved meals or help with rides while we were displaced for two years. That would have helped tremendously

I donated to keep a positive relationship but I thought it was in bad taste. My husband reminded me that we don’t know what each family is going through and appearances can be deceiving. Or they need the quick funds. He is less judgy than I am, literally my better half.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.

I did donate to someone whose house burned down. I'm the PP who would prob not donate to a super wealthy person unless they were a close and trusted friend.

Anonymous wrote:Is it a turnoff to you to be asked to donate? Do you do it anyway? Do you also give gifts of food/uber/door dash etc?

A little. I am a distant acquaintance with someone who is going through a lot. I'm not going to participate in sending gifts/money at this point in time. By their own admission, they are well off--probably more well off than I am as they were able to live in a costly area while working little to PT over the years. IIRC, they have a trust fund.

Maybe if I knew them better I would donate a little something.

I have a good friend with a trust fund and can't imagine she would ever put a gofundme out there. If she did, though, I probably contribute to it. But she never would.

I donate what I feel comfortable with when I know the person or know someone who knows them, but I only go one degree of separation. I recently donated to a single mom who lost a child. I don’t think many people have insurance for that.

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is you don't what people's situations are when you dig below the surface. I know know professional families that do not have life insurance outside of small employer policies. Death of one parent could mean they have to sell their house or not be able to fund college. It boggles my mind.

People without adequate insurance who had adequate incomes made poor financial and planning decisions which should not redound to their friends and families to redress. That an employer provided no or insufficient life insurance as an employee benefit in no way prevented them from obtaining sensible and prudent coverage elsewhere.

Don't donate anything to them. Cash grab.

My neighbor in a HUGE million+ home had a go fund me for her husband's "memorial" held in their home. No service or food etc. Was weird ..not sure what we were supposed to fund.

I think the problem is you don't what people's situations are when you dig below the surface. I know know professional families that do not have life insurance outside of small employer policies. Death of one parent could mean they have to sell their house or not be able to fund college. It boggles my mind.

I never donate money. I'll gladly volunteer but not handing over money - likely someone pocketing it to buy a shiny object for themselves