Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 18:38     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Women used to marry around 12 and become mothers themselves, for thousands and thousands of years.

In these times of kids growing up more slowly and being coddled, I'd say it really depends on the maturity level of the girl.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:50     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is 12 an okay age for a mother's helper? There is a girl down the street that wants to get experience before she is babysitting age and her mom reached out to me and offered her services as a mother's helper.

I have twins and would never ever leave her in the same room alone with my babies ever but as an extra pair of hands? Good idea? Bad?

She charges $5-10/hour and can help out 2hrs a day 2x a week. If love to be able to put laundry away or make dinner. I know this child won't have actual responsibility besides playing with baby and tbh probably just one baby. I can wear one and trade off.

Am I crazy for considering?

Again I would be in the same room at all times.


You can do a trial but I would pay $5 an hour, not $10. $10 is absurd and you are basically babysitting and supervising her daughter in less the mom plans to come to train her.



Agreed, if her mom is asking for her to do it "for experience" and you're not comfortable leaving the room and keep one baby on you at all times, that's not really "help" worth $10/hr (which is real money for a 12 year old). I would do a short term trial/training for $5/hr and decide what level of responsibility and pay is warranted.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 08:43     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:At 12 I was absolutely babysitting alone. Mother's helper is like 10.


Ditto. I think this could work well but you’ll need to nicely stress to her that she cannot use her phone at all at your house unless it’s to tell her parents she arrived or is leaving. That’s what I’d be worried about with a 12 year old. Not their ability - their potential distraction.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2025 23:23     Subject: Re:Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Totally fine. My 13yr old DD babysits for a couple of friends, and she is their favorite, go-to sitter. She is responsible, great with their toddlers, very patient and engaging. She has younger siblings, so that helps.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2025 23:10     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This was my childhood of benign negligent Boomer parenting. #2 of 6. We're allegedly still all alive.


Yep, there were loads of boomer parents hiring a 12 year old solely for the purpose of engaging their toddler in play while they do chores in the same room….I don’t think “benign neglect”means what you think


You are missing the point - 30 years ago, nobody would have asked this question. They would have just hired the damn 12 year old to play with their kid.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 22:10     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This was my childhood of benign negligent Boomer parenting. #2 of 6. We're allegedly still all alive.


Yep, there were loads of boomer parents hiring a 12 year old solely for the purpose of engaging their toddler in play while they do chores in the same room….I don’t think “benign neglect”means what you think

Oh no, I was watching my sibs. lol
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 20:51     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:This was my childhood of benign negligent Boomer parenting. #2 of 6. We're allegedly still all alive.


Yep, there were loads of boomer parents hiring a 12 year old solely for the purpose of engaging their toddler in play while they do chores in the same room….I don’t think “benign neglect”means what you think
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 20:47     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
This was my childhood of benign negligent Boomer parenting. #2 of 6. We're allegedly still all alive.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 19:07     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! I feel so much better about this! My SIL spooked me by saying I'll end paying to babysit the 12 year old and now have to entertain her too. But I really think it will be helpful to have the extra hands once a week and yes I'm a few years having someone we trust to actually babysit would be amazing if this works out


12 year olds are 7th graders. My 7th grader has taken basic and advanced babysitting lessons and is CPR certified (thank you, Girl Scouts!). She is MORE than qualified to be in the same room alone with your twin toddlers. Goodness, OP, get a grip!

Same for my DD. She's been working as a mother's helper for a 1 and 3 yo and gets paid $15 for 2 hours. She generally watches the kids in the basement playroom while the parents are upstairs.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 18:30     Subject: Re:Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you’re a little too neurotic to actually benefit from such an opportunity (are you literally going to have the mothers helper trail you room to room as you do laundry, make dinner, etc???…please don’t subject her to this!)

but yes for most people with more reasonable boundaries this would be a great option to get a little bit of a break at a very reasonable rate.


Yes, let’s attack op for wanting to make sure she is creating a safe and productive time situation for everyone involved. She should just jump into this arrangement without thought.



There’s a pretty wide chasm between creating a safe/productive situation and feeling the need to emphasize three times in a single post that you would never even dream of venturing into a different room in your home while the mothers helper is there assisting.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 18:11     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:Thanks all! I feel so much better about this! My SIL spooked me by saying I'll end paying to babysit the 12 year old and now have to entertain her too. But I really think it will be helpful to have the extra hands once a week and yes I'm a few years having someone we trust to actually babysit would be amazing if this works out


12 year olds are 7th graders. My 7th grader has taken basic and advanced babysitting lessons and is CPR certified (thank you, Girl Scouts!). She is MORE than qualified to be in the same room alone with your twin toddlers. Goodness, OP, get a grip!
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2025 18:09     Subject: Is 12 too young for a mother's helper?
Anonymous wrote:Is 12 an okay age for a mother's helper? There is a girl down the street that wants to get experience before she is babysitting age and her mom reached out to me and offered her services as a mother's helper.

I have twins and would never ever leave her in the same room alone with my babies ever but as an extra pair of hands? Good idea? Bad?

She charges $5-10/hour and can help out 2hrs a day 2x a week. If love to be able to put laundry away or make dinner. I know this child won't have actual responsibility besides playing with baby and tbh probably just one baby. I can wear one and trade off.

Am I crazy for considering?

Again I would be in the same room at all times.


Are you insane? At 12 years old, I was babysitting infants while the parents went out to dinner or to a party! My 12 year old knows her way around babies and toddlers, she babysits her younger sibling and is going to start offering her services as a mother's helper to neighborhood families, too. With your bolded comment, I'm a little concerned about your mental health, frankly.