Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think at this point you should message the teachers. And also, there is no harm in using chatGPT to craft more personal e-mails.

What to say in the message to the teacher?

OP ideally, get your DS to write the follow up email. But if you have to do it yourself, what you would write to the teacher depends on a few things.

Did he give the teacher a deadline for the rec to be submitted, and then make it clear that he had a backup recommender, so the teacher should let him know by X date if they could do it or if they would rather he ask his backup?

Did he give the teacher basic details about the internship (where, what, etc) and also, include the form for the teacher to fill out or the address to which to send the letter?

Did he give the teacher some material to put into the rec (to jog the teacher's memory - which period class, what grade he got, a particular assignment, unit or aspect of the class he felt he nailed, or something about him the teacher might highlight to show he would be a good fit for the internship)?

Also, is he sitting passively waiting for you or the teacher to take care of it, or catastrophizing about the teacher's lack of response, or is he unwilling to write a follow-up based on the advice in this thread, but asking for your help? This will determine your approach to the teacher.

No need to let a lack of a return email turn into catastrophic thinking. Sit down with your son and have him forward the email to the math teacher. Coach him through writing the forwarding email, explaining the types of things a neurotypical teacher would want to read. You might have him lead with “I realized after re-reading my earlier message that it may have sounded more demanding than I would have liked. I also see that I forgot to give you any information about this internship program and why I think I would be a good fit.” Advise him on using some context-appropriate variation of please and thank you and explain that this is how most people want to be addressed when being asked for a favor. Even if the teacher rejects the request outright, that can be feedback for your son about how the effort put into communication and building relationships has consequences. It’s better to learn this now, rather than later in life.

As for college recommendations, teachers know that students need them. Those assigned to teach juniors expect to write them. Usually they will only reject a request if a student’s work or behavior did not meet grade-level expectations.

Anonymous wrote:I think at this point you should message the teachers. And also, there is no harm in using chatGPT to craft more personal e-mails.

What to say in the message to the teacher?

I think at this point you should message the teachers. And also, there is no harm in using chatGPT to craft more personal e-mails.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No way this child makes it through college unless you intervene now.

Even if he is very good academically? By his grade, he belong to the tie to Top20 universities. Of course, I know Top20 will look at EC. So, we want him to go our own state univ. Maybe he can live ant home if close enough. Isn’t GPA and SAT enough?

Not for the top tier state schools. It would good enough for GMU in our area but the UVA, VT, UMD schools are competitive and are looking for high grades, SATs, and all the ECs.

Sit down with him and help him draft the email. Explain why you are making the suggestions that you are. He should re-introduce himself, explain why he is writing, explain why he is asking this teacher to write a recommendation. He should mention what he liked about the class, what he learned in the class, and how it applies to the internship he is applying for.

I review the emails my ND kid sends to adults because I know he doesn't ahve a lot of experience writing them. There is nothing wrong with guiding him in the process.