Anonymous
09/03/2025 16:08
Subject: Once-A-Week Communication With College Kid Optimal??
Anonymous wrote:I don’t get phone calls with my senior son and haven’t from day one. Trust me, I’d love a weekly phone call but I’m trying to respect his autonomy. I text him every 2-3 days. If I do get a response, it’s a single word. I’m happy to get proof of life but I miss him and am curious about his days. He’s in-state so I can at least see him every few weeks for one reason or another (family event, dropping off medicine, etc). My youngest is a HS senior who will go to school out of state. I’m already dreading it but I’m reminding myself we raise them to set them free.
Similar here w my son, junior year of college.
Anonymous
09/03/2025 15:54
Subject: Once-A-Week Communication With College Kid Optimal??
Anonymous wrote:My boys very rarely texted me - I would text them about once a week to say hi. My daughter texts me every day.
This seems pretty common among our peer group.
We talk at most once per week, sometimes once every two weeks, depending on how busy they are. We are always happy to hear from them but also glad to see them grow independent.
Anonymous
09/03/2025 15:45
Subject: Re:Once-A-Week Communication With College Kid Optimal??
I am a proud helicopter/snowplow/tank/panda/tiger/kangaroo mom - who has been very much involved in my kid's lives from birth to HS.
Now, I think that they are more than capable of making great decisions, extract the best out of their college and academic journey, hustle to find internships and jobs, find the right partner, have a good social life, take good care of their mental and physical health, save and invest their money and remain safe and secure.
So, I don't text, call, videochat my kids. DH tracks them on location sharing, he texts them, and my kids post on the family group. Kids call me, they videochat with me, they send me pics, and they check in with each other...but I am no longer managing them. Yes, they are more than welcome to have long conversations with me or ask my advice if they want to (and they do) - but I do not initiate it.
Of course, my DH fills me in.
Now, I think that they are more than capable of making great decisions, extract the best out of their college and academic journey, hustle to find internships and jobs, find the right partner, have a good social life, take good care of their mental and physical health, save and invest their money and remain safe and secure.
So, I don't text, call, videochat my kids. DH tracks them on location sharing, he texts them, and my kids post on the family group. Kids call me, they videochat with me, they send me pics, and they check in with each other...but I am no longer managing them. Yes, they are more than welcome to have long conversations with me or ask my advice if they want to (and they do) - but I do not initiate it.
Of course, my DH fills me in.
Anonymous
09/03/2025 12:36
Subject: Once-A-Week Communication With College Kid Optimal??
My kids need less contact for me than I would like.
I text them one text a day usually just to say good morning and hope you’re doing well or to say good luck on a particular test or something. I usually get a reply.
We also have a 10 minute FaceTime call on Sunday evenings.
That is what my son prefers, I’m hoping my daughter will be more communicative, but not necessarily.
Go with what your child wants. Try to restrain yourself if it’s you being the one wanting more interaction.
I text them one text a day usually just to say good morning and hope you’re doing well or to say good luck on a particular test or something. I usually get a reply.
We also have a 10 minute FaceTime call on Sunday evenings.
That is what my son prefers, I’m hoping my daughter will be more communicative, but not necessarily.
Go with what your child wants. Try to restrain yourself if it’s you being the one wanting more interaction.