Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Unless she's his subordinate or he's in the military, no one cares if he's boning a co-worker.

If he’s high up, there is a power imbalance with nearly everyone at the company. Doesn’t have to be a direct subordinate.

Why would you threaten his job? If you stay married, you want him to work. If you don’t, you still want that for child support and alimony.

OP the AP is not the problem here your marriage is.

Your DH is a cheater always and forever.

You need to focus on your DH not the AP.

Either you want to stay married to a cheater or you don't or he will divorce you in time. He might even marry her. Either way he's still the problem not her. Your anger is focused on the wrong person. He's in the relationship not her.

I'd get my ducks in a row and divorce him why the hell do you want a cheater?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Unless she's his subordinate or he's in the military, no one cares if he's boning a co-worker.

If he’s high up, there is a power imbalance with nearly everyone at the company. Doesn’t have to be a direct subordinate.

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

You’re looking at this all wrong. Don’t worry about her. If you want out, get your financial ducks in a row and just get out. Have some dignity.

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

Do not demonize the woman. You will drive him straight into her complication-free arms. Focus on you cheating husband. You do whatever confrontation you feel like you need. Part of it must include "no contact with AP" and a plan for how to navigate the situation at work. If he's not willing to do that, he's not being serious about reconciling and you make your alternative plans.

It would be smart to talk to a divorce attorney before you do any confronting so that you don't injure yourself with your behavior here. If they work together and he gets fired, that loss of income will be objectively bad for you and your 2 kids, for example.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't want to present a divorce to them on a silver platter, she can stay put, enjoy life and let them be uncomfortable. She can divorce when she feels like it but why do it now to make it convenient for them?

Regardless of what outcome she wants, threatening her DH's job and income is not the solution.

I know someone doing this now. She quit her job (she was the breadwinner, her husband is a government attorney) and is trying to torpedo his. So stupid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

It always amazes me how women give men change after chance when they are embarrassed this way. Any man who cheats on you doesn't care about you. He doesn't love you. If my DW ever gets an AP she is gone..I don't care about long history together and all that crap. If she lets another dude's dick in her while we are married, she is no longer entitled to mine.

Some of you ladies really need to have more self respect.

That’s because some people take their children’s needs into account over their own.

BUS! OP is not thinking about her children. She is thinking about herself and her own ego that's it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

So you punished yourself by remaining with a man who was unfaithful to you and ultimately end up divorced…….to stick it to an AP? Honey lump lost before the game even started. This is not a flex.

No I got him into therapy so he could be a great dad instead of a mentally ill one.

I sure up out finances and prepared the kids for a divorce. But sure blow up
Your life without a plan.

My AP was married so I told her h and she also got intense therapy, hope she’s doing well.

you sound even more pathetic

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

I doubt it. or there was a new AP. But yay. I guess you won...

Boo hoo someone is sad 🥲

who is sad? you? the pp? her ex? the ap? definitely not me,but nice try.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

It always amazes me how women give men change after chance when they are embarrassed this way. Any man who cheats on you doesn't care about you. He doesn't love you. If my DW ever gets an AP she is gone..I don't care about long history together and all that crap. If she lets another dude's dick in her while we are married, she is no longer entitled to mine.

Some of you ladies really need to have more self respect.

That’s because some people take their children’s needs into account over their own.

Anonymous wrote:Spouse is in a relation at work. Have confronted couple times but has denied. AP is single while I have two kids-he is a devoted dad, and we have long history together. Have more evidence now and want to confront (final) but not without a plan of getting the AP
out. He has a huge reputation to lose FWIW..anyone successfully navigated these waters? I will decide whether I stay or leave after the AP is out

It always amazes me how women give men change after chance when they are embarrassed this way. Any man who cheats on you doesn't care about you. He doesn't love you. If my DW ever gets an AP she is gone..I don't care about long history together and all that crap. If she lets another dude's dick in her while we are married, she is no longer entitled to mine.

Some of you ladies really need to have more self respect.

Ugh, sorry OP. I do understand the temptation to confront her, and unlike some in this thread I have never bought the "Your husband broke vows not her!" mentality. If she knows your husband is married, she sucks for getting involved with him.

Anyway, I understand the desire but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. As someone else said, leave Katie Holmes style and live your best life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

So you punished yourself by remaining with a man who was unfaithful to you and ultimately end up divorced…….to stick it to an AP? Honey lump lost before the game even started. This is not a flex.

No I got him into therapy so he could be a great dad instead of a mentally ill one.

I sure up out finances and prepared the kids for a divorce. But sure blow up
Your life without a plan.

My AP was married so I told her h and she also got intense therapy, hope she’s doing well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I presented divorce papers and said move out today or call AP on speaker phone and end it.

He stayed… he turned on location services, he went to therapy and moved to the guest room.

2 years later I served him divorce papers but the AP was kicked to the curb and thrown under the bus.

I doubt it. or there was a new AP. But yay. I guess you won...

Boo hoo someone is sad 🥲

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't want to present a divorce to them on a silver platter, she can stay put, enjoy life and let them be uncomfortable. She can divorce when she feels like it but why do it now to make it convenient for them?

Regardless of what outcome she wants, threatening her DH's job and income is not the solution.