Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 11:53     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).


This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation.


In what world is being married "relevant"? It is not MYOB about that part.
If you want to report the affair because it is against policy for two employees to be in a relationship, then do it in person.

If you want to tell his wife as a personal thing go right ahead. This is a separate issue from the work relationship.


It is relevant if they are military, for both adfairs partners. And if he is a CEO at a Cold Play concert.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 11:45     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).


This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation.


In what world is being married "relevant"? It is not MYOB about that part.
If you want to report the affair because it is against policy for two employees to be in a relationship, then do it in person.

If you want to tell his wife as a personal thing go right ahead. This is a separate issue from the work relationship.


Are you illiterate?
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 11:03     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).


This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation.


In what world is being married "relevant"? It is not MYOB about that part.
If you want to report the affair because it is against policy for two employees to be in a relationship, then do it in person.

If you want to tell his wife as a personal thing go right ahead. This is a separate issue from the work relationship.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 11:00     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Have some fun with it!
“Wow - this got weird in a way I didn’t expect. To stay on point, the final numbers should be included in the report. Joe can review and Amy can post. I’ll send my numbers now.”
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 02:22     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).


This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation.


For work, no. I'm guessing your handbook doesn't specify a different consequence for married APs vs single APs?
But I can see you judging from here, so please don't confuse workplace policy with your own sense of morals or ethics.


The military treats these offenses differently.


Really? Why don't you elaborate.


This is a different poster. In the military officers can be disciplined for carrying on a sexual relationship with an officer who is married. It is a violation of the UCMJ.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 01:17     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are a supervisor you are probably obligated to report the violation of the anti fraternization policy and can be disciplined yourself for failing to report it.
The fact that he’s married isn’t really relevant for the work purposes but it sounds like they are violating a policy and, even if not, most companies have rules designed to ensure that people aren’t in a position to give their paramours work related favors (eg ensuring that they aren’t involved in the other persons evaluation or in any promotion process).


Ask for a meeting with HR and report it verbally. Let them decide next steps.

You are aware of a violation of policy and so is another uninvolved employee. You are in a prisoner's dilemma. You could get in trouble if you don't report and the other person does.

To whoever said "Recall the e-mail", that function is disabled at my company. And sometimes unopened e-mails can be seen from pre-view notifications, panes, etc.


The network admin can see it all. Sent, unsent, deleted, deleted permanently. It’s never gone.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2025 00:54     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Write back and smugly say “I don’t think you meant to include me on this email chain”
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 23:36     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Juicy!

Don’t do anything

But gossip with your non-work friends
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 23:27     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Where has OP told us this was military, for God's sakes? Who are these people making stuff up?

Or does OP not adhere to basic message board etiquette and posts without identifying themselves?



They were responding to the person who said no job cares about adultery.


OP did not identify themselves except for this response:

"This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation. "

Nowhere does it say military. "Relevant" is suspect in a world where some people believe adultery to be a mortal sin, and others simply couldn't care less. People could assume OP is leading with her personal beliefs.





Clearly she is posting about the military.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 23:18     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Let’s just zoom out and make this easy. They sent you an email disclosing their affair, doesn’t matter what other contents it contained. You ignore the email 100%. You have no obligation to answer this unprofessional message. Period.

As far as fraternization - No one will find out but even if they did, you have plausible deniability that you didn’t scroll down that far.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 23:01     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:If it comes up later, just say may have opened it, but you didn't read it. This happens all the time.


+1, or say you didn't scroll down. Ignore it.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 22:46     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
If it comes up later, just say may have opened it, but you didn't read it. This happens all the time.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 22:29     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Will you get in trouble if it comes out later that you knew but did not report it?
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 22:19     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Where has OP told us this was military, for God's sakes? Who are these people making stuff up?

Or does OP not adhere to basic message board etiquette and posts without identifying themselves?



They were responding to the person who said no job cares about adultery.


OP did not identify themselves except for this response:

"This is OP. Him being married is relevant in this situation. But they are on the same level, so it’s not a special favors situation. "

Nowhere does it say military. "Relevant" is suspect in a world where some people believe adultery to be a mortal sin, and others simply couldn't care less. People could assume OP is leading with her personal beliefs.





Jobs with infidelity policies exist.
OP says infidelity is relevant to their job situation.
Therefore, we should assume OP is leading with her personal beliefs.

PP, did you accidentally send an email detailing your rooftop romance with your married colleague to other colleagues today?
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2025 22:07     Subject: Colleagues having an affair. Awkward.
Anonymous wrote:Just pretend you didn't notice. No one will thank you for intervening. Whereas you may cause misery.


This is absolutely what I would do. I don't know if there's a troll on here who wants to make this into a military thing, and I do not know the rules of a military workplace. But in a civilian workplace, I would live and let live, unless there's clear abuse of power going on.