Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

If you have to ask . . .

Yes, I am asking. So why sad? Of course it does not sound like you can articulate an answer. No surprise there. Go away if you can’t add to the thread.

Not the PP above this but ... it's very sad that you find it freeing to have no connection to people who to many are considered loved ones.

Why is it sad to find that freeing? I would think that is healthy.

Ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

If you have to ask . . .

Yes, I am asking. So why sad? Of course it does not sound like you can articulate an answer. No surprise there. Go away if you can’t add to the thread.

Not the PP above this but ... it's very sad that you find it freeing to have no connection to people who to many are considered loved ones.

Why is it sad to find that freeing? I would think that is healthy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

If you have to ask . . .

Yes, I am asking. So why sad? Of course it does not sound like you can articulate an answer. No surprise there. Go away if you can’t add to the thread.

Not the PP above this but ... it's very sad that you find it freeing to have no connection to people who to many are considered loved ones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

If you have to ask . . .

Yes, I am asking. So why sad? Of course it does not sound like you can articulate an answer. No surprise there. Go away if you can’t add to the thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

OP here. It’s exactly this. If I’d rather spend a summer evening with close friends, and not to the dinner being hosted for Aunt Mildred who is coming in to town with her husband’s children and grandchildren, then I’m horrible. Why? I guess I don’t get it. Why should I care about these people?

To be blunt, it's part of being a normal human being. It feels like you have a piece missing, from the way you talk

This is separate from people have distanced themselves from hurtful or dysfunctional families.

But it's a free countries and you can opt out. Others can judge and that's their right as well.

Oh please! Your dysfunctional normal is not everyone else’s normal. Everyone has their own family dynamics and normal. OP should do what’s best for her family.

Right, and 20 years from now when her kids and their spouses don’t want to visit her all will be good, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

If you have to ask . . .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

OP here. It’s exactly this. If I’d rather spend a summer evening with close friends, and not to the dinner being hosted for Aunt Mildred who is coming in to town with her husband’s children and grandchildren, then I’m horrible. Why? I guess I don’t get it. Why should I care about these people?

To be blunt, it's part of being a normal human being. It feels like you have a piece missing, from the way you talk

This is separate from people have distanced themselves from hurtful or dysfunctional families.

But it's a free countries and you can opt out. Others can judge and that's their right as well.

Oh please! Your dysfunctional normal is not everyone else’s normal. Everyone has their own family dynamics and normal. OP should do what’s best for her family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

OP here. It’s exactly this. If I’d rather spend a summer evening with close friends, and not to the dinner being hosted for Aunt Mildred who is coming in to town with her husband’s children and grandchildren, then I’m horrible. Why? I guess I don’t get it. Why should I care about these people?

To be blunt, it's part of being a normal human being. It feels like you have a piece missing, from the way you talk

This is separate from people have distanced themselves from hurtful or dysfunctional families.

But it's a free countries and you can opt out. Others can judge and that's their right as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound fun.

I am? With people I care about. I guess I’m tying to understand why, just because I share DNA with someone, they should be more important than the people who actually make an impact in my life.

You sound even worse now. If it bothers you that you get together with people three times a year that you don't know very well, then get to know them better. You are a shrew.

OP, ignore this person.

That person is right. Blunt and not graceful, but right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Why sad?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, there are lots of threads on here about this. Make the family you want with your friends. My siblings have stopped visiting (I live near the hometown) and nobody visits them either. We might get a grown niece or nephew passing through so it's not total estrangement - it's just a mutual... "not interested".... it's very freeing.

Sad

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped going to these things. I do not miss them and don’t care if anyone thinks I’m a jerk. They are not fun, and I have extremely limited free time. I don’t want to spend it with people I don’t care about.

If you have time to read and comment on this silly post on this silly website, honey, I’m sorry — you do not have “extremely limited free time.”

Anonymous wrote:I think a number of people are like this. In a few months there will likely be several posts from people who feel forced into spending Thanksgiving and/or Christmas with family they aren't close to.

Anonymous wrote:I stopped going to these things. I do not miss them and don’t care if anyone thinks I’m a jerk. They are not fun, and I have extremely limited free time. I don’t want to spend it with people I don’t care about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound fun.

I am? With people I care about. I guess I’m tying to understand why, just because I share DNA with someone, they should be more important than the people who actually make an impact in my life.

You sound even worse now. If it bothers you that you get together with people three times a year that you don't know very well, then get to know them better. You are a shrew.

OP, ignore this person.