Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So your spouse has been cheating and you have revenge sex. Do you really think your spouse will care? Your spouse is a cheater and you’ve just joined the club. The end result is that you have cheapened yourself banging some random person and you’ll regret it. Take the high ground, divorce your spouse and then get on with your life and, if necessary for your sexual health, bang a random stranger.

Yeah butt, you got to bang some random person so there is that. And likely with no regrets. That's the whole point of a revenge affair. You give up on being faithful when it meant nothing to your partner so, no regrets.

You have a very simplistic brain.

I haven't been cheated on but I can't imagine cheating back would make anything better. It just adds more problems to the problems you already have. It's a very childish response.

Anonymous wrote:So your spouse has been cheating and you have revenge sex. Do you really think your spouse will care? Your spouse is a cheater and you’ve just joined the club. The end result is that you have cheapened yourself banging some random person and you’ll regret it. Take the high ground, divorce your spouse and then get on with your life and, if necessary for your sexual health, bang a random stranger.

Yeah butt, you got to bang some random person so there is that. And likely with no regrets. That's the whole point of a revenge affair. You give up on being faithful when it meant nothing to your partner so, no regrets.

So your spouse has been cheating and you have revenge sex. Do you really think your spouse will care? Your spouse is a cheater and you’ve just joined the club. The end result is that you have cheapened yourself banging some random person and you’ll regret it. Take the high ground, divorce your spouse and then get on with your life and, if necessary for your sexual health, bang a random stranger.

Dated a women who was separated but still living with ex. Claimed to be just room mates and she paid rent, nothing more. But she couldn't manage to extract herself from that situation and had sooo many excuses why it wasn't the right time to move out.

I wouldn't call it a revenge affair but, let's just say I no longer cared about being faithful to her when other opportunities presented themselves. She did eventually move out after a few years and I'd cheated on her with 4 different women during that time but none after that. I felt justified in doing so and have no regrets.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rather than opening the marriage or divorcing immediately for the children, did anyone have a solid revenge affair to even out the relationship?

If so, did it improve your self esteem and act as an equalizer or make you hate yourself for becoming the same person that destroyed you?

Asking for a friend…..of course!

Even out?
That’s not how it works.

Of course it is. One way or the other, there has to be acceptance and forgiveness.

This thread is just discussing a quick method rather than doing the whole "marriage counseling" garbage for years and getting nowhere.

I would never have a revenge affair per se, but if my spouse cheated on me and wanted to reconcile, one non-negotiable condition for me would be a hall pass to use for a similar indiscretion.

I think everyone considers revenge after a betrayal like that. You were robbed of dignity, respect and love while your spouse treated you like shit to not feel guilty about giving away the parts of them that you needed.

No matter what you will never feel like you had an equal life experience, you married someone so insecure that they would invest in creating another existence in secret instead of creating a full life with you. They are not worthy of your respect or compromising who you are to feel better in the moment.

Anonymous wrote:Rather than opening the marriage or divorcing immediately for the children, did anyone have a solid revenge affair to even out the relationship?

If so, did it improve your self esteem and act as an equalizer or make you hate yourself for becoming the same person that destroyed you?

Asking for a friend…..of course!

Anyone considering revenge affair is too immature to have a relationship.