Anonymous wrote:OP, you’re gonna get wrecked on cross.
Google it. Collaborative divorce just means you agree not to litigate in court. If he's open to mediation then he should also be open to the collaborative approach. https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/divorce-mediation/mediation-vs-collaboration-factors-conAnonymous wrote:OP here - my ‘specific list’ is actually ways in which he can pay what he owes me with real estate or other things that don’t require us to sell assets. There is also a kid with special needs involved, so that’s a little more complex than is typical as well. I’m really trying to figure out how much court is going to just say sell everything and split it versus help distribute assets in a way that is fair without selling them…
I don’t think you can do a collaborative divorce without someone who is willing to collaborate…
We are going to try mediation, that also seems to be difficult with someone who is not attached to reality.
My situation is much like the PP whose husband thought he was entitled to everything but the 401(k). There is a huge gap between what he thinks I should get and what would be in compliance with state law.