Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:41     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:I'd stop grocery shopping/preparing meals too. I refuse to cook in a filthy kitchen.


Op here, I’ve already put my foot down about cooking every night (I posted this on another chain and was accused or being neglectful!

I’m at work. Im going to wait until dc calls me for something today (he always does) and try to figure out my next move if it isn’t done
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:41     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:I find that a simple text works better than talking or threats. I give an hour or so to get it done in case they are in the middle of something.

Hey, I would like the dishwasher emptied, reloaded with the dirty dishes, and appliances and counters wiped clean by 8pm. I really appreciate it. Thumbs up the message if that works!


This is what we do and it works. I also tell them in person it is their responsibility to set an alarm for a reminder if they choose to wait. If it isn't done, we just turn their phones to downtime until it is done.

It really is not that hard OP
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:39     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
What deadline did you give? By the start of the next meal? Before they head-out to meet up with friends? By COB?

Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:38     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, my kids were alternating taking care of the dishwasher emptying but they sleep later than me and always want to do it"later" so it's annoying to have dirty dishes pile up with no place to go.

I may switch them to different chores but I'm not sure which ones.


My tweens had plenty of chores, but my teens were just too busy and on such unusual schedules for it not to end in situations like this that annoyed me (even the nagging or having to impose consequences annoyed me).

The one thing I still have them do?? A lot of their own laundry -- there is tons of flexibility in WHEN it can be done, and it really doesn't affect me in the slightest.


Op here. My kids do their own laundry. Occasionally one will ask me to do his, but not often. But I’m realizing there is a lot of hidden work that I do that they don’t appreciate (things like running and emptying the dishwasher every single night/AM, making sure the house is stocked with food and essentials, etc) and I want them to understand that this stuff takes time and isn’t ’my job’. They’re adults (or close to it).
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:34     Subject: Re:I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:I think a household chore for a teen has to come with a timeframe. For kitchen cleanup and dishwasher loading, I'd say before they go to bed is fine. If they don't do it, then it's consequence time. The best two options are - kill the internet or take their phones until it's done, or, if you wake up and it's not done, you go wake them up and make them do it as soon as you're up. Presumably much earlier than they care to be woken.

Make sure you're clear with them ahead of time about the timeframe though. Otherwise, no fair.


Op here. I originally gave a time frame. Both ignored it, made excuses. ‘Mom, I’m doing X, I’ll get to it!’ So what’s the consequence? One teen is at work already, one is home but will leave for practice this afternoon and be gone for 5 hours. I’m at work. Turning off his Phone is not particularly an option for the older one bc he needs it for work. Not sure that would motivate the younger one.
He’s already lost gaming.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:33     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Unplug the wifi and cell data until kitchen is clean
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:30     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, my kids were alternating taking care of the dishwasher emptying but they sleep later than me and always want to do it"later" so it's annoying to have dirty dishes pile up with no place to go.

I may switch them to different chores but I'm not sure which ones.


My tweens had plenty of chores, but my teens were just too busy and on such unusual schedules for it not to end in situations like this that annoyed me (even the nagging or having to impose consequences annoyed me).

The one thing I still have them do?? A lot of their own laundry -- there is tons of flexibility in WHEN it can be done, and it really doesn't affect me in the slightest.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:19     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
I'd stop grocery shopping/preparing meals too. I refuse to cook in a filthy kitchen.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 11:18     Subject: Re:I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
I think a household chore for a teen has to come with a timeframe. For kitchen cleanup and dishwasher loading, I'd say before they go to bed is fine. If they don't do it, then it's consequence time. The best two options are - kill the internet or take their phones until it's done, or, if you wake up and it's not done, you go wake them up and make them do it as soon as you're up. Presumably much earlier than they care to be woken.

Make sure you're clear with them ahead of time about the timeframe though. Otherwise, no fair.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 10:38     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:By the time they go to bed, it needs to be done. If they don’t, if you get up earlier than they do, let them know you will wake them up first thing in the morning to clean up.

Or, tell them that you want them to do it now, you don’t enjoy seeing the mess, and you want to know that it’s done.

Do not do it yourself.


I’m not going to get into a yelling match over it.


Yelling match? What are you talking about? No yelling required.

You are ultimately telling us your kids don’t respect you, because at some point it gets to a “cut the bullshit and do it” stage. We can’t help you make your kids respect you.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 10:35     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Tell them the sink must be empty and dishes away by Noon and 6, or something like that.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 10:30     Subject: Re:I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Our rule is dishes must be clean by the time I get home from work.

So 4 pm ish.

Not everyone is a night person so before bed is just controlling and OCD.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 10:17     Subject: Re:I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Re-read the subject line. Perhaps the child is also taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Lazy parent = lazy child.
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 10:03     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
Anonymous wrote:I hate doing the dishes and always have. I like the dishes being done and dishwasher on at bedtime, sink cleaned out. This prevents dried food, things breaking, mice, etc. I would take some dishes away. use paper plates if needed- but if you have less, it needs to get cleaned faster.


No way, I’m not letting them use paper plates. They need to suffer for their laziness
Anonymous
Post 07/31/2025 09:28     Subject: I’m taking a break from kitchen clean up and dishwasher duties. Teens said they would take over but it’s always ‘later’.
I hate doing the dishes and always have. I like the dishes being done and dishwasher on at bedtime, sink cleaned out. This prevents dried food, things breaking, mice, etc. I would take some dishes away. use paper plates if needed- but if you have less, it needs to get cleaned faster.