Anonymous wrote:It’s the right idea to consider but you can also avoid the discussion by keeping your separate assets protected before marriage. Just keep thfm separate accounts, document everything and refrain from combining them with any marital funds. Open a new joint brokerage account on the day you get married and deposit any new savings into that account.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. I saw a lot of sexist/misogynistic posts. To clarify, I'm the man in the relationship and SO is female.

Both of us understand that her income will be higher soon after she starts working and it makes sense to prioritize that. The assumptions I have made about stepping down at work, etc. are only if I have to.. i.e. No kids, nothing happens. If I can work remote or her job is at a location where my company operates, I transfer, etc. If we do have kids, I will absolutely step down to a very high WLB job to prioritize kids. We have seen how a few other families with two high-income/high-stress jobs operate and that's not for us.

My intention with the pre-nup was to be able to control my funds should things go wrong in the medium-term, not necessarily corral those funds as 'mine' forever. Any income we make during our marriage would be shared 50/50 regardless of who makes it. 10-15 years down the road, I expect out marital assets to more than exceed my personal assets at which point I have no issues co-mingling everything.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. I saw a lot of sexist/misogynistic posts. To clarify, I'm the man in the relationship and SO is female.

Both of us understand that her income will be higher soon after she starts working and it makes sense to prioritize that. The assumptions I have made about stepping down at work, etc. are only if I have to.. i.e. No kids, nothing happens. If I can work remote or her job is at a location where my company operates, I transfer, etc. If we do have kids, I will absolutely step down to a very high WLB job to prioritize kids. We have seen how a few other families with two high-income/high-stress jobs operate and that's not for us.

My intention with the pre-nup was to be able to control my funds should things go wrong in the medium-term, not necessarily corral those funds as 'mine' forever. Any income we make during our marriage would be shared 50/50 regardless of who makes it. 10-15 years down the road, I expect out marital assets to more than exceed my personal assets at which point I have no issues co-mingling everything.

Anonymous wrote:Lol, OP is in her 20s and already planning on quitting her job and living off her surgeon husband’s $700,000 income for the next 60 years—but is very concerned that he not get access to any of her six-figure net worth!

On a totally unrelated note, I wonder why women are having such a hard time in the dating market and find that the men they would like to marry prefer instead to “pump and dump“ them. It’s a real mystery.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the feedback. I saw a lot of sexist/misogynistic posts. To clarify, I'm the man in the relationship and SO is female.

Both of us understand that her income will be higher soon after she starts working and it makes sense to prioritize that. The assumptions I have made about stepping down at work, etc. are only if I have to.. i.e. No kids, nothing happens. If I can work remote or her job is at a location where my company operates, I transfer, etc. If we do have kids, I will absolutely step down to a very high WLB job to prioritize kids. We have seen how a few other families with two high-income/high-stress jobs operate and that's not for us.

My intention with the pre-nup was to be able to control my funds should things go wrong in the medium-term, not necessarily corral those funds as 'mine' forever. Any income we make during our marriage would be shared 50/50 regardless of who makes it. 10-15 years down the road, I expect out marital assets to more than exceed my personal assets at which point I have no issues co-mingling everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you should get a prenup. Your premarital assets should be fine. But if your career goes to the wayside due to children, you should insure that if you divorce you’ll be financially provided for until your children graduate HS. Even if you divorce and begin to work again, you’ll always be the primary parent if your spouse is a surgeon for example.

eh not necessarily. Some household have both parents as surgeons or 2 demanding careers. Would you assume the mum to be primary parent in those households? A bit misogynistic, no?

Anonymous wrote:Lol, OP is in her 20s and already planning on quitting her job and living off her surgeon husband’s $700,000 income for the next 60 years—but is very concerned that he not get access to any of her six-figure net worth!

On a totally unrelated note, I wonder why women are having such a hard time in the dating market and find that the men they would like to marry prefer instead to “pump and dump“ them. It’s a real mystery.

Anonymous wrote:If you do a pre-nup and he starts making bank, when you divorce do you get your measly $1M only because you insisted on that?

Anonymous wrote:If not a prenup, then keep every single, solitary premarital asset separate, and never move it, change it or add a dollar to it or take a dollar out of it. Before you get married, put it in a simple market index fund or similar that you never have to touch again.
and then print and keep all statements from the month prior to your marriage in a couple safe places to reference in the future if needed (in divorce)

Keep everything in your maiden name (in fact I highly recommend never changing your name).

Good luck and I hope for all young women that you never ever get to the point I'm at where your cheating husband tries to take all of your assets in divorce

Anonymous wrote:SO and I are late 20s. I'm in tech, earn and saved well. Net worth is approaching $1M (no house). SO is in medical residency, has close to no net worth and will likely be in that state (specialization, etc.) for a while. We currently live together, vibe well and talking about marriage. I foot all the bills (except for share of rent which SO's parents pay).

Assuming we get married, once SO starts working, I'll have to take a secondary role - move to where their job would be, be the primary caregiver for any kids, step down on my career track, etc. all of which I'm OK with. At the same time I'm concerned (having see it happen) that if we were to get divorced at some point, I'd end up splitting my net worth prior to marriage and get close to nothing from SO's savings. SO does come from a wealthy family (only child) and is set to inherit a lot more than what I would inherit or save.

Wondering if I should consider a pre-nup.. Would growth on my net worth also be covered by the pre-nup typically? Looking for thoughts from folks who may have gone through a similar situation before.