Anonymous wrote:I separated 3 weeks ago, after having been married for more than 20 years. Yesterday, I was sitting on the grass by the lake with a handsome man I met for the second time, kissing for an hour as if I were 20 again. It felt so good, so romantic.

But you aren't 20. Gross.

Slow your roll. Seriously. Get divorced. Make sure your kids are ok. Establish a new, safe, secure normal. Learn to enjoy your own company.

We are separated, and my husband has has been dating since before we split (thus causing the split obviously)

I hadn’t really thought about a dating timetable, but he has finally met someone that he wanted to tell the kids about and it turns out they expected to be told beforehand, and they are not at all happy. Teens.

I can’t imagine any situation or teens are going to be enthusiastic about their parents dating, but in my case, it seems like they expected to have a conversation before either parents started dating, and they feel like they have been lied to that things are happening behind their back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start the minute you both say separate or divorced.

No one willingly dates someone that is separated and going through drama. Heck no. Divorced, drama is over. Perhaps that person has been to therapy and reflected on their role in the divorce.

No one *healthy* or *whole* will date presently seperated or currently divorcing people. No way. Work out your own issues before using me as an ego boost and escape from the current mess you’re in, please

+1. Take time to live completely independently. Grieve the end of a chapter. Get therapy for whatever red flag you missed in partner selection. Let your kids adjust to their new family structure before you focus on a new romance. Spend time with friends. Get a great vibrator. Work on your fitness and hobbies.

If dating means having sex and there are people who can wait years it's no wonder they're getting divorced.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start the minute you both say separate or divorced.

No one willingly dates someone that is separated and going through drama. Heck no. Divorced, drama is over. Perhaps that person has been to therapy and reflected on their role in the divorce.

No one *healthy* or *whole* will date presently seperated or currently divorcing people. No way. Work out your own issues before using me as an ego boost and escape from the current mess you’re in, please

As someone who has been going through a divorce for a year, and was alone for years before that (husband was literally never home), this is absurd. You can be healthy and whole and just in a very dragged out legal situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start the minute you both say separate or divorced.

No one willingly dates someone that is separated and going through drama. Heck no. Divorced, drama is over. Perhaps that person has been to therapy and reflected on their role in the divorce.

No one *healthy* or *whole* will date presently seperated or currently divorcing people. No way. Work out your own issues before using me as an ego boost and escape from the current mess you’re in, please

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I separated 3 weeks ago, after having been married for more than 20 years. Yesterday, I was sitting on the grass by the lake with a handsome man I met for the second time, kissing for an hour as if I were 20 again. It felt so good, so romantic.

how'd that happen so fast? did you know him before your separation? do you have kids?

Our kids are young adults, live separately.

I downloaded the dating app immediately after moving out. Met him a week ago for the first time, and yesterday was our second date, we have two more planned for this week. There is a lot of mutual attraction, but also clarity that it’s not going to be a long-term relationship because he is 12 years younger. It still feels so good, even if it’s going to last just for a few weeks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there children? That impacts my answer.

teens

Let them finish HS first. They already have enough trauma. They didn’t ask for troubled parents.

Only correct answer.

Sad it had to be stated

Maybe Op is a lame troll.

Anonymous wrote:Start the minute you both say separate or divorced.

Hurray!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there children? That impacts my answer.

teens

Yeah, I'd go very slow. Like wait until the divorce is final. Wait to talk to them. I had SO MUCH respect for my dad that he floated the idea of dating by my brother and me before he just announced he was dating and had a girlfriend. Probably a big part of what made me so open to the one he has stuck with long term.

fair, but can't the parent date without the kids knowing for a while?

Define “date”? Drinks and a poke?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL you really want to get laid, huh?

I've been trapped for years. I finally found the courage to get out. I want to meet people and have fun and find companionship. It's not only or even mainly about sex.

Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me meeeeeeee. Doodle loodle doo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be by yourself for a while. Is it really that painful to be in your own company?

right, see, I have been, for years. Hence the divorce.

Poor you. Bet the other spouse filed too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are there children? That impacts my answer.

teens

I see, you failed to state that up front. Interesting.

Love to hear your view on your own question OP. Surely you have an opinion and can back it up with a sensible rationale.
What say ye?

Anonymous wrote:Did you and your ex agree on when it was OK to start seeing other people before the divorce was final? What was the mark you agreed on, e.g., when there was a formal separation agreement in place, when one of you had moved out of the house, something else? Any guidelines or advice on how to navigate this, particularly if the split is relatively amicable?

Why would you post this and not mention if you had kids or not?

Omitting that implies you do not have kids, or you like lies of omission.

Which one are you OP?