Anonymous wrote:I guess none of you work in finance. We drop the f bomb all the time…but since it’s so common nobody takes it personally.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost it with my boss once. I didn't curse but I interrupted him and raised my voice. One time in over a decade. I never apologized. He was being a jerk. He still promoted me a few years later but I should have left because he is even more of a jerk now.

That’s fine in that context

Doesn't sound that different from OP's situation to me but neither of us have shared every detail. In my case my boss clearly expected an apology, but I was really mad at him, so I did not give it to him. We moved on. I feel a little guilty about it years later because of course nobody deserves to be spoken over or yelled at in the workplace. But I also feel it would not have benefited me to apologize, as I think to him it would have made him feel he was right in being a jerk and he wasn't. It sounds like OP's boss wasn't listening to her and it was a similar situation with me.

I am a woman and a minority. I often face disrespect and occasionally outright abuse in the workplace from my boss and other high level people. It's clear the White men are afforded a level of respect, right from the beginning, that I do not get. I simply do not look like the type of person they expect to be doing my job, though I do it extremely well (as my boss acknowledges). I wish I worked in a place that was more collegial towards women, but I don't. I have to demand the same treatment they give to other people without question, or I get treated worse.

Depends what “he was being a jerk” means. If someone is just slow, annoying, hard to work for, you can’t just flip out on them. The appropriate apology would be, “I’m extremely frustrated with XYZ. I do apologize for the timing and nature of my airing that. But I stand by my feelings.” If someone was being discriminatory, ignorant, crass, etc., then no apology is needed for raising your voice.

That’s not a real apology.

Anonymous wrote:I would say "I am sorry that you made me so angry that I had to swear at you. I will try my best to be patient with you in the future. In return, I would ask that you try as hard as you can to not be such an f@@@ing loser".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost it with my boss once. I didn't curse but I interrupted him and raised my voice. One time in over a decade. I never apologized. He was being a jerk. He still promoted me a few years later but I should have left because he is even more of a jerk now.

That’s fine in that context

Doesn't sound that different from OP's situation to me but neither of us have shared every detail. In my case my boss clearly expected an apology, but I was really mad at him, so I did not give it to him. We moved on. I feel a little guilty about it years later because of course nobody deserves to be spoken over or yelled at in the workplace. But I also feel it would not have benefited me to apologize, as I think to him it would have made him feel he was right in being a jerk and he wasn't. It sounds like OP's boss wasn't listening to her and it was a similar situation with me.

I am a woman and a minority. I often face disrespect and occasionally outright abuse in the workplace from my boss and other high level people. It's clear the White men are afforded a level of respect, right from the beginning, that I do not get. I simply do not look like the type of person they expect to be doing my job, though I do it extremely well (as my boss acknowledges). I wish I worked in a place that was more collegial towards women, but I don't. I have to demand the same treatment they give to other people without question, or I get treated worse.

Depends what “he was being a jerk” means. If someone is just slow, annoying, hard to work for, you can’t just flip out on them. The appropriate apology would be, “I’m extremely frustrated with XYZ. I do apologize for the timing and nature of my airing that. But I stand by my feelings.” If someone was being discriminatory, ignorant, crass, etc., then no apology is needed for raising your voice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lost it with my boss once. I didn't curse but I interrupted him and raised my voice. One time in over a decade. I never apologized. He was being a jerk. He still promoted me a few years later but I should have left because he is even more of a jerk now.

That’s fine in that context

Doesn't sound that different from OP's situation to me but neither of us have shared every detail. In my case my boss clearly expected an apology, but I was really mad at him, so I did not give it to him. We moved on. I feel a little guilty about it years later because of course nobody deserves to be spoken over or yelled at in the workplace. But I also feel it would not have benefited me to apologize, as I think to him it would have made him feel he was right in being a jerk and he wasn't. It sounds like OP's boss wasn't listening to her and it was a similar situation with me.

I am a woman and a minority. I often face disrespect and occasionally outright abuse in the workplace from my boss and other high level people. It's clear the White men are afforded a level of respect, right from the beginning, that I do not get. I simply do not look like the type of person they expect to be doing my job, though I do it extremely well (as my boss acknowledges). I wish I worked in a place that was more collegial towards women, but I don't. I have to demand the same treatment they give to other people without question, or I get treated worse.

Depends what “he was being a jerk” means. If someone is just slow, annoying, hard to work for, you can’t just flip out on them. The appropriate apology would be, “I’m extremely frustrated with XYZ. I do apologize for the timing and nature of my airing that. But I stand by my feelings.” If someone was being discriminatory, ignorant, crass, etc., then no apology is needed for raising your voice.