Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of schools have parent programming, but that's because it serves as a way to get the parents to separate from the kids. Years ago they didn't need to have it, because parents just left. I am sure some people really enjoy it but I felt very skippable to me and not meaningful.

I would imagine this is very different from school to school.

At yale, each residential college has a whole thing for new families. Very much not skippable and totally enjoyable. Would have been a weird not to attend - as weird as skipping move-in itself (which, technically, is pretty skippable. you kid knows how to put sheets on their bed).

as usual on DCUM, people take their own experience and decide it's the Only Possible Way of Doing Things. in fact, any other way is overstepping. no exceptions. because every college drop off experience is just like that one you did with your kid that one time.

I agree however OP did set herself up for this by inquiring.

we were planning on staying one night, but kid thought two was better. We likely won't see him after the campus-wide induction but it's a long drive and I dont mind the second night in an Airbnb.

Anonymous wrote:We're moving my freshman into her dorm on a Friday afternoon. I figured we'd stay in her college town on Friday night but return home late Saturday (2 hour drive).

Is there any reason we should stay an additional night? (other than my emotions )

NO.
move your child in and leave. This is not kindergarten, this is college.

Anonymous wrote:Please be aware there are kids weighing in on this post…
Do what you think is best, 2 nights sounds perfect. And plan next visit before you leave.

There are plenty of adults, too.

Ultimately, our goal was to see our child settled but not to prolong it. She needed to start sinking roots. The longer we stayed, she’d be compelled to be with us and not the people in her dorm.

Yes, OP should stay as long as she thinks she should. But I don’t think kids are weighing I’m here. I think it’s common for parents to abbreviate the trip. It’s the advice we were given, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

Yep. Exactly.

Please be aware there are kids weighing in on this post…
Do what you think is best, 2 nights sounds perfect. And plan next visit before you leave.

Anonymous wrote:Really enjoyed the Duke events. Glad we stayed. This is a question best asked on the parent Facebook page. Those people are also sure about doing things one way only, but at least their opinions are based in some facts about the college

Doesn't Duke have the mandatory pre-orientation program now (which sounds excellent)?

I agree that it varies from school to school. The general rule of thumb is to get out as quickly as you can. It also depends on their living arrangements, the time of day of the drop-off, how easy it is for them to get things if you are not around (i.e. a kid at NYU doesn't need their parents around, a kid at a more rural school might need them just in case they need a ride to get something). But the less, the better.

why go at all?

put your kid on the bus like we used to do when we sent the boys off to war.

land the helicopter!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are staying 3 nights. Don’t expect to see my kid after we drop him off at his room. But we are driving 20 hours each way. So, the extra night is for much needed rest before turning around and heading back.

If it's a 20 hour drive, why not just fly?

With the contents of a heavily packed car?

Ours seem excessive compared to other responses but no regrets for us or child. It helped ease transition for all of us.

College is 6+ hours away

Drove up Monday- all stayed in hotel
Moved in Tuesday…DC in dorm remainder of week (they had option to move in early due to a ‘special’ program they are in but could have waited until Thursday)
Wednesday…went sightseeing in town, did not see DC at all
Thursday…parent orientation and other campus activities/Target run
Friday …breakfast with DC and goodbyes before 10am.

They moved out on own and doing the same for move-in in a few weeks. We joke at this rate we’ll only be back for graduation. We did not visit once but they came home for Fall Break, Thanksgiving, Winter Break and Spring Break…this year they are skipping Fall Break.

Talk it over with your DC and follow their lead.

We are a 10 hour drive away. We drove up two nights before. We spent a day as a family exploring the town. The next day was drop off, including a target run once we got a better sense of the space. DH and I drove home the following day.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, only two hours away, zero nights.

This. The only reason I'd stay the night before is if they have a super early move in time.

Really enjoyed the Duke events. Glad we stayed. This is a question best asked on the parent Facebook page. Those people are also sure about doing things one way only, but at least their opinions are based in some facts about the college

Get in - get out.

We are a 9 hour drive. We drove in on day 1, dropping off our daughter and her stuff that evening. We returned in the morning to take her on a Target run and then we headed home before lunch.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of schools have parent programming, but that's because it serves as a way to get the parents to separate from the kids. Years ago they didn't need to have it, because parents just left. I am sure some people really enjoy it but I felt very skippable to me and not meaningful.

I would imagine this is very different from school to school.

At yale, each residential college has a whole thing for new families. Very much not skippable and totally enjoyable. Would have been a weird not to attend - as weird as skipping move-in itself (which, technically, is pretty skippable. you kid knows how to put sheets on their bed).

as usual on DCUM, people take their own experience and decide it's the Only Possible Way of Doing Things. in fact, any other way is overstepping. no exceptions. because every college drop off experience is just like that one you did with your kid that one time.