Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Yes and no.

Part of your comment makes me wonder if you are one of the posters who tells people not to bother going to X if they only have a week (or whatever). The reality is most people can have a fabulous day (or two or five or whatever) in a place and there's no right way or wrong way to "enjoy" a visit to any destination.

RE: going off season - Sure. I guess. But the Amalfi coast or similar destinations really aren't best visited off season. It's better to enjoy dinner and drinks outside on a warm summer night after spending the day lounging on a private boat all day in the sun...hence all the celebs posting pics on yachts in the Med this summer (and every summer)(or Kris Jenner's annual summer trip to Portofino...I mean, there's really no reason to go to Portofino in November).

"Off the beaten track" is where I agree with you. But I still see value in going to popular tourist destinations like Rome. These places are popular for a reason (many, actually). But you can have a blast in Rome without setting foot *inside* the Colosseum (it's actually gorgeous around 9:30 or 10pm at night and it's rather magical wandering around it up close and bit further away when there aren't any crowds; ditto for the Vatican and all the other usual suspect spots).

RE: all inclusives - don't knock it, pp. Some are really nice (and fun). And there are plenty of luxury and mid-range spots that include breakfast and lunch that you might not even consider an all inclusive (several boutique resorts in the caribbean and europe offer such things but you would never know unless you stayed there).

In short: go live your life and have fun...whatever that means to you. I've never had a bad vacation...probably because I make sure I have fun wherever I go. (I basically try to "be the party" ... even if the party is mostly in my own head as I lazily lay out in the sun all day.)

The Amalfi coast? Some all inclusives are good? Lol. You’re not living. You're being a tourist.

Curtain Bluff is a fabulous AI on Antigua. Candidly, I don’t think anyone who spends a week or two in the Caribbean is a “tourist.” There’s not a lot of touring involved. You relax and enjoy your vacation.

Caneel Bay wasn’t referred to as an AI but they offered prepayment of meals on what I believed they referred to as a European plan. Fun fact: I stayed in the best cottage on the fabulous property before Madonna and Brangelina used it. Hardly boring. In fact, it was amazing.

And yes, the Amalfi coast is gorgeous! I loved every place I visited during a month-long trip up and down both sides of Italy. Our boat was amazing and the villas were quite lovely. I didn’t bother buying tickets to anything though, so I wasn’t the typical tourist. I mostly soaked in the vibe and enjoyed some fabulous sites that you wouldn’t read about online or in travel guides.

Anyway, travel isn’t a competition…it’s just a verb. I’ve traveled, and you’ve traveled. And I’ve never had a bad experience…just a helluva lot of fun.

You've never done anything adventurous in your life. You've just spent money.

I see we've encountered someone who firmly believes they are a *traveler* while everyone else is a tourist. I have bad news for you: you're a tourist too. I've been to some really off the beaten paths and experienced some very rustic places, but guess what, I was still a tourist. Just like you.

I'll echo what others have said. Common themes are aging and the hassles of travel involving long flights and transit times and the constant on the move and shifting from one strange hotel to the next just isn't as much fun when you're in your 40s. I'm also in my peak career years, which means a demanding job, and the concept of a demanding vacation doesn't appeal to me any more. Other common themes are the increased homogenization of the world. Every major city is more or less a clone. Hip Berlin is the same as hip LA and hip Tokyo and hip Melbourne. The crowds in the popular places. Growing up in 1980s/1990s midsize city America, going to France and Italy was a culinary revelation because you just did not get the croissants or cappucinos or pastries found in corner Italian or French markets in most American cities. But today? The food and coffee are quite often better in the US and I have no shortage of excellent bakeries and just about every world cuisine nearby. I don't need to go to China for the novelty of seeing Chinese supermarkets when there's a large one a few miles away!

I still travel for specific pleasures, we're doing a long hiking trip in the Alps this August and I'm looking forward to nearly two weeks free of the laptop and being offline. But I do increasingly appreciate the notion of going back to a favorite beach or mountain every year rather than seeking the strange and exotic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Yes and no.

Part of your comment makes me wonder if you are one of the posters who tells people not to bother going to X if they only have a week (or whatever). The reality is most people can have a fabulous day (or two or five or whatever) in a place and there's no right way or wrong way to "enjoy" a visit to any destination.

RE: going off season - Sure. I guess. But the Amalfi coast or similar destinations really aren't best visited off season. It's better to enjoy dinner and drinks outside on a warm summer night after spending the day lounging on a private boat all day in the sun...hence all the celebs posting pics on yachts in the Med this summer (and every summer)(or Kris Jenner's annual summer trip to Portofino...I mean, there's really no reason to go to Portofino in November).

"Off the beaten track" is where I agree with you. But I still see value in going to popular tourist destinations like Rome. These places are popular for a reason (many, actually). But you can have a blast in Rome without setting foot *inside* the Colosseum (it's actually gorgeous around 9:30 or 10pm at night and it's rather magical wandering around it up close and bit further away when there aren't any crowds; ditto for the Vatican and all the other usual suspect spots).

RE: all inclusives - don't knock it, pp. Some are really nice (and fun). And there are plenty of luxury and mid-range spots that include breakfast and lunch that you might not even consider an all inclusive (several boutique resorts in the caribbean and europe offer such things but you would never know unless you stayed there).

In short: go live your life and have fun...whatever that means to you. I've never had a bad vacation...probably because I make sure I have fun wherever I go. (I basically try to "be the party" ... even if the party is mostly in my own head as I lazily lay out in the sun all day.)

The Amalfi coast? Some all inclusives are good? Lol. You’re not living. You're being a tourist.

Curtain Bluff is a fabulous AI on Antigua. Candidly, I don’t think anyone who spends a week or two in the Caribbean is a “tourist.” There’s not a lot of touring involved. You relax and enjoy your vacation.

Caneel Bay wasn’t referred to as an AI but they offered prepayment of meals on what I believed they referred to as a European plan. Fun fact: I stayed in the best cottage on the fabulous property before Madonna and Brangelina used it. Hardly boring. In fact, it was amazing.

And yes, the Amalfi coast is gorgeous! I loved every place I visited during a month-long trip up and down both sides of Italy. Our boat was amazing and the villas were quite lovely. I didn’t bother buying tickets to anything though, so I wasn’t the typical tourist. I mostly soaked in the vibe and enjoyed some fabulous sites that you wouldn’t read about online or in travel guides.

Anyway, travel isn’t a competition…it’s just a verb. I’ve traveled, and you’ve traveled. And I’ve never had a bad experience…just a helluva lot of fun.

You've never done anything adventurous in your life. You've just spent money.

I’m over traveling too, at least for now. It just seems like too much of a hassle to go somewhere new and even though I can afford it, it’s just not where I want to spend my money. I’m making a trip to a country I’ve been to 20 times before, and have friends and family there, but that’s about as exciting as I get. I won’t be a tourist, it’ll be spent with people I don’t get to see all the time, and that’s what seems important to me these days.

We've decided we're done with cities, so we book walking trips that let us spend a day or two in a major city and then set off on a walking trip that takes us through little villages and parks with nights in small hotels and dinners at local restaurants.

Just did this in Denmark, and loved it.

Yes. It just sucks with kids. I look forward to traveling again when my kids are teens, or, better yet, in college and it’s just me and my husband. And SO expensive. I prefer local-ish trips to resorts where I know I’ll be taken care of - this is much nicer than spending thousands for the bivwhack of international travel, navigating in another language etc. I JUST WANT TO CHILL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Yes and no.

Part of your comment makes me wonder if you are one of the posters who tells people not to bother going to X if they only have a week (or whatever). The reality is most people can have a fabulous day (or two or five or whatever) in a place and there's no right way or wrong way to "enjoy" a visit to any destination.

RE: going off season - Sure. I guess. But the Amalfi coast or similar destinations really aren't best visited off season. It's better to enjoy dinner and drinks outside on a warm summer night after spending the day lounging on a private boat all day in the sun...hence all the celebs posting pics on yachts in the Med this summer (and every summer)(or Kris Jenner's annual summer trip to Portofino...I mean, there's really no reason to go to Portofino in November).

"Off the beaten track" is where I agree with you. But I still see value in going to popular tourist destinations like Rome. These places are popular for a reason (many, actually). But you can have a blast in Rome without setting foot *inside* the Colosseum (it's actually gorgeous around 9:30 or 10pm at night and it's rather magical wandering around it up close and bit further away when there aren't any crowds; ditto for the Vatican and all the other usual suspect spots).

RE: all inclusives - don't knock it, pp. Some are really nice (and fun). And there are plenty of luxury and mid-range spots that include breakfast and lunch that you might not even consider an all inclusive (several boutique resorts in the caribbean and europe offer such things but you would never know unless you stayed there).

In short: go live your life and have fun...whatever that means to you. I've never had a bad vacation...probably because I make sure I have fun wherever I go. (I basically try to "be the party" ... even if the party is mostly in my own head as I lazily lay out in the sun all day.)

The Amalfi coast? Some all inclusives are good? Lol. You’re not living. You're being a tourist.

Curtain Bluff is a fabulous AI on Antigua. Candidly, I don’t think anyone who spends a week or two in the Caribbean is a “tourist.” There’s not a lot of touring involved. You relax and enjoy your vacation.

Caneel Bay wasn’t referred to as an AI but they offered prepayment of meals on what I believed they referred to as a European plan. Fun fact: I stayed in the best cottage on the fabulous property before Madonna and Brangelina used it. Hardly boring. In fact, it was amazing.

And yes, the Amalfi coast is gorgeous! I loved every place I visited during a month-long trip up and down both sides of Italy. Our boat was amazing and the villas were quite lovely. I didn’t bother buying tickets to anything though, so I wasn’t the typical tourist. I mostly soaked in the vibe and enjoyed some fabulous sites that you wouldn’t read about online or in travel guides.

Anyway, travel isn’t a competition…it’s just a verb. I’ve traveled, and you’ve traveled. And I’ve never had a bad experience…just a helluva lot of fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Yes and no.

Part of your comment makes me wonder if you are one of the posters who tells people not to bother going to X if they only have a week (or whatever). The reality is most people can have a fabulous day (or two or five or whatever) in a place and there's no right way or wrong way to "enjoy" a visit to any destination.

RE: going off season - Sure. I guess. But the Amalfi coast or similar destinations really aren't best visited off season. It's better to enjoy dinner and drinks outside on a warm summer night after spending the day lounging on a private boat all day in the sun...hence all the celebs posting pics on yachts in the Med this summer (and every summer)(or Kris Jenner's annual summer trip to Portofino...I mean, there's really no reason to go to Portofino in November).

"Off the beaten track" is where I agree with you. But I still see value in going to popular tourist destinations like Rome. These places are popular for a reason (many, actually). But you can have a blast in Rome without setting foot *inside* the Colosseum (it's actually gorgeous around 9:30 or 10pm at night and it's rather magical wandering around it up close and bit further away when there aren't any crowds; ditto for the Vatican and all the other usual suspect spots).

RE: all inclusives - don't knock it, pp. Some are really nice (and fun). And there are plenty of luxury and mid-range spots that include breakfast and lunch that you might not even consider an all inclusive (several boutique resorts in the caribbean and europe offer such things but you would never know unless you stayed there).

In short: go live your life and have fun...whatever that means to you. I've never had a bad vacation...probably because I make sure I have fun wherever I go. (I basically try to "be the party" ... even if the party is mostly in my own head as I lazily lay out in the sun all day.)

The Amalfi coast? Some all inclusives are good? Lol. You’re not living. You're being a tourist.

OP, it’s both. I’m late 40s, traveled a lot in my 20s and early 30s before kids, relative to other families have traveled a lot with kids, and I feel the same way.

Economic and cultural shifts in the last 20-30 years mean the places I once experienced as fulfilling because they were different from home and offered stimuli that I didn’t have in my everyday life are now much more similar to my daily life.

And my having experienced a lot more means the newness of a travel experience is much harder to find.

I find two things help. First, when traveling with my kids, choosing places and activities that let me do something with them that places the focus on their discovery, and focusing my attention on being present (and grateful) for that. For example, when we have visited a place that I’ve been before (Ireland was a recent example for us, too), creating opportunities for each kid to discover and plan activities. Do I care about the Cliffs of Moher? Not even a little bit. Was my son thrilled and gave us the sweetest history lesson? Yes, and it was great fun to do that with him.

Second, when traveling without kids, getting really clear about why I’m going. Like another poster said, often that’s about nature. I’ve always been a big hiker and my kids are still fairly young so the chance to do an itinerary I can’t (yet) with them is always awesome. But sometimes it’s about a super cool hotel or restaurant or exhibit. Or about who I’m traveling with. Or about renting a place and staying put and savoring the minutiae of daily life. For me, that’s different than how I traveled when I was younger, which was more like “I’ve never been to Japan; it sounds awesome; let’s go to that place and do things there.”

Finally, I feel the wear and tear of travel more now. I used to always say yes - to the work event that would get me to a new place, to the friend invite, to the airfare bargain. Now sometimes I just don’t take the trip, or I return to a few not far places that I know I really love, and that helps.

Part of this makes me sad - I wish I could be thrilled by any new place like I used to - but it has also slowed me down in ways I appreciate. Do I still fantasize about being an empty nester and taking some Big Trips I can’t fit into life now? You bet; and I’m trying to stay healthy to be able to make that happen.

Anonymous wrote:The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Yes and no.

Part of your comment makes me wonder if you are one of the posters who tells people not to bother going to X if they only have a week (or whatever). The reality is most people can have a fabulous day (or two or five or whatever) in a place and there's no right way or wrong way to "enjoy" a visit to any destination.

RE: going off season - Sure. I guess. But the Amalfi coast or similar destinations really aren't best visited off season. It's better to enjoy dinner and drinks outside on a warm summer night after spending the day lounging on a private boat all day in the sun...hence all the celebs posting pics on yachts in the Med this summer (and every summer)(or Kris Jenner's annual summer trip to Portofino...I mean, there's really no reason to go to Portofino in November).

"Off the beaten track" is where I agree with you. But I still see value in going to popular tourist destinations like Rome. These places are popular for a reason (many, actually). But you can have a blast in Rome without setting foot *inside* the Colosseum (it's actually gorgeous around 9:30 or 10pm at night and it's rather magical wandering around it up close and bit further away when there aren't any crowds; ditto for the Vatican and all the other usual suspect spots).

RE: all inclusives - don't knock it, pp. Some are really nice (and fun). And there are plenty of luxury and mid-range spots that include breakfast and lunch that you might not even consider an all inclusive (several boutique resorts in the caribbean and europe offer such things but you would never know unless you stayed there).

In short: go live your life and have fun...whatever that means to you. I've never had a bad vacation...probably because I make sure I have fun wherever I go. (I basically try to "be the party" ... even if the party is mostly in my own head as I lazily lay out in the sun all day.)

The problem with y’all is you’re just too busy, too poor, or too particular to travel well - typically all three.

You need to take your time, schedule three or four times as much as is recommended for a given place, go off season, go off the beaten track, not stay in luxury hotels or fancy all inclusives, relax a little — and LIVE. Very few of you do that based on what I read on this website. You’re too busy trying to check boxes off. And when you’re older — as some of you appear to be on this thread — all of that gets just plain tiring.

Anonymous wrote:Globalism means a lot of these places now have a sameness about them. H&M, McDonalds, some sort of hotel chain, the restaurants with greenery on the walls and neon signage. It’s expensive to get everywhere and travel is now a miserable experience. There’s lines to everything so you have to mess with timed entry tickets. There’s no spontaneity. It makes me sad.

Agreed.

But you can have fun if you change your approach to travel…at least somewhat.

First: travel involving a beach and/or boat will always be fun as long as you find the right location (and enjoy beach vacations ;0)

For the more typical trip (e.g. a city in Europe), try to travel off season or adjust your approach. Instead of feeling compelled to see all the popular sites, pick your favorites and spend the resort if your time exploring other things. And remember: simply walking around and soaking it in is often more enjoyable than buying a ticket, standing in line, and seeing something with hordes of people. Our best trips to Italy were mostly spent walking around, popping into random churches, enjoying the atmosphere, food, etc.—particularly after dark. Moreover, we probably had the most fun being on boats along the coast.

Globalism means a lot of these places now have a sameness about them. H&M, McDonalds, some sort of hotel chain, the restaurants with greenery on the walls and neon signage. It’s expensive to get everywhere and travel is now a miserable experience. There’s lines to everything so you have to mess with timed entry tickets. There’s no spontaneity. It makes me sad.

I understand what you are saying but I still would rather do it than stay home.

I feel this way about cities. It’s always the same — restaurants, bars, churches, museums, architecture, shopping. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world these are the things to do. It’s started to feel monotonous to me. At this point I prefer nature focused trips.

Could not have said it better myself.

Anonymous wrote:I feel this way about cities. It’s always the same — restaurants, bars, churches, museums, architecture, shopping. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world these are the things to do. It’s started to feel monotonous to me. At this point I prefer nature focused trips. And sometimes an all inclusive resort that’s easy and keeps my kids busy.

This is a great point. I don't need to see another church again, probably ever. Largely same with museums, unless it's something I'm particularly interested in.

I don't think my younger self could have processed that.