Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:34
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Everybody should do what they want and what makes them happy.
But what it NOT okay is to demand people find you attractive.
I see both sexes do this - women will dress frumpy, yet want a wealthy, attractive man. Men will be overweight in a stained t shirt, then throw a fit when the woman who looks like a supermodel rejects him.
I’m a woman who works hard to maintain her appearance. I’m dating a man who does the same (he spends 2-3 hours a day in the gym, which is also “unfair” but he looks and feels incredible). Zero doubt in my mind if either of us did not take care of ourselves, we would not be together.
You need to date people who have the same priorities as you, and if you don’t prioritize your own looks, fine, but you can’t expect to date people who do.
I don’t know too many women who would date a guy who spends 2-3 hours everyday in a gym!! He’s lucky he found you.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:32
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
I have almost never worn heels since I was 25 and it hasn't been a problem at all.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:31
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Hmm so I’m in my mid-30s and noticing, socially and professionally, more and more women are not wearing heels or more noticeable makeup (except for weddings and “nice” events). Or increasing women choosing not to color their hair.
It’s a real change even to about ten years ago. I don’t know if the pandemic sped it up or what but it’s interesting.
I haven’t seen a woman wearing makeup at work in years. When I run into a person with a full face of makeup, she sticks out in a bad way. Like she’s insecure and probably fake.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:19
Subject: Re:Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Absurd to watch women stagger in high or uncomfortable shoes. It limits them. They allow it.
Men would never.
I wear dress shoes to formal events. They are not comfortable.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:10
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
I don't see them as either. I don't wear makeup beyond sheer lipgloss regularly just for date nights and special events, and I like my undies to be pretty and match but lingerie and all of that seems fussy. I do, however, love a high heel shoe. Love. I am very short though (just barely 5ft) so there is that.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:05
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Depends on the reasons behind them I guess. If you are forced to use them? That's obviously not ok.
If society is seeing it as something valuable then you are practically forced. If you don't compete, you're at disadvantage.
Exactly. There are societally imposed gender standards for appearance. Sure if you're a female wedding guest, you can show up in pants and a button up shirt, but people will judge you negatively for that. Or you have to become "nonbinary" in order to do it.
Depends on the pants and the button up shirt. If it looks like you are a server at a restaurant then sure people are likely judging you. If it's a tailored pantsuit with a crisp shirt, you probably look good and no one cares.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:04
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Everybody should do what they want and what makes them happy.
But what it NOT okay is to demand people find you attractive.
I see both sexes do this - women will dress frumpy, yet want a wealthy, attractive man. Men will be overweight in a stained t shirt, then throw a fit when the woman who looks like a supermodel rejects him.
I’m a woman who works hard to maintain her appearance. I’m dating a man who does the same (he spends 2-3 hours a day in the gym, which is also “unfair” but he looks and feels incredible). Zero doubt in my mind if either of us did not take care of ourselves, we would not be together.
You need to date people who have the same priorities as you, and if you don’t prioritize your own looks, fine, but you can’t expect to date people who do.
But what it NOT okay is to demand people find you attractive.
I see both sexes do this - women will dress frumpy, yet want a wealthy, attractive man. Men will be overweight in a stained t shirt, then throw a fit when the woman who looks like a supermodel rejects him.
I’m a woman who works hard to maintain her appearance. I’m dating a man who does the same (he spends 2-3 hours a day in the gym, which is also “unfair” but he looks and feels incredible). Zero doubt in my mind if either of us did not take care of ourselves, we would not be together.
You need to date people who have the same priorities as you, and if you don’t prioritize your own looks, fine, but you can’t expect to date people who do.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 13:00
Subject: Re:Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Absurd to watch women stagger in high or uncomfortable shoes. It limits them. They allow it.
Men would never.
Men would never.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 12:49
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:I used to think it was men fueling this, but I see my 17 yr old DD, and even when at home, she likes to feel pretty. I'm sure that part is societal, but I don't think she does it to please men.
I also feel blah when I don't have some makeup on, and I permanently wfh. I hardly go out in the summer. Can't stand the weather.
Why does she feel “pretty”? Because she’s meeting the male gaze standard. She may not know it but that’s what she’s doing.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 12:41
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Hmm so I’m in my mid-30s and noticing, socially and professionally, more and more women are not wearing heels or more noticeable makeup (except for weddings and “nice” events). Or increasing women choosing not to color their hair.
It’s a real change even to about ten years ago. I don’t know if the pandemic sped it up or what but it’s interesting.
Professionally, I can't remember the last time I saw a woman in heels.
Yes, I only see it in pretty formal settings or social work events, and even then, it’s low heels. And this is like among ages 25-65, from interns, to junior staff, to very senior staff, etc. Whereas when I first got into the professional world about ten years ago, I changed into heels at the start of the day or for every meeting, as did my female coworkers.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 12:37
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Hmm so I’m in my mid-30s and noticing, socially and professionally, more and more women are not wearing heels or more noticeable makeup (except for weddings and “nice” events). Or increasing women choosing not to color their hair.
It’s a real change even to about ten years ago. I don’t know if the pandemic sped it up or what but it’s interesting.
Professionally, I can't remember the last time I saw a woman in heels.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 12:35
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Hmm so I’m in my mid-30s and noticing, socially and professionally, more and more women are not wearing heels or more noticeable makeup (except for weddings and “nice” events). Or increasing women choosing not to color their hair.
It’s a real change even to about ten years ago. I don’t know if the pandemic sped it up or what but it’s interesting.
It’s a real change even to about ten years ago. I don’t know if the pandemic sped it up or what but it’s interesting.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 11:12
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:I used to think it was men fueling this, but I see my 17 yr old DD, and even when at home, she likes to feel pretty. I'm sure that part is societal, but I don't think she does it to please men.
I also feel blah when I don't have some makeup on, and I permanently wfh. I hardly go out in the summer. Can't stand the weather.
You have internalized the subjugation. You need to be deprogrammed.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 10:53
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
I used to think it was men fueling this, but I see my 17 yr old DD, and even when at home, she likes to feel pretty. I'm sure that part is societal, but I don't think she does it to please men.
I also feel blah when I don't have some makeup on, and I permanently wfh. I hardly go out in the summer. Can't stand the weather.
I also feel blah when I don't have some makeup on, and I permanently wfh. I hardly go out in the summer. Can't stand the weather.
Anonymous
07/26/2025 10:53
Subject: Do you see lingerie, makeup and heels as healthy or subjugation?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Beauty standards like these are decided mostly by men. Women adhere because they are social creatures who want to please and be liked. Thank god I don’t have to wear high heels, they would make me slow and cause injury.
Men have little say in all this.
+1
Women's beauty and fashion is mostly decided by women. Women adhere to them because we are social creatures and want to be liked by women and sometimes by men.
Lol. Tell me you know nothing about the fashion/beauty industry without telling me you know nothing about it.
This^. Men, straight, gay and bisexual play a huge role and most women in this field see things from male gaze.