Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 13:10     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.


$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.


I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 13:09     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a scam you can get a nanny for 50-60k/year


For 8 hours a day …
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 12:57     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


Do you plan to kill them all yourself? Please tell us how you would handle this.

We even let them run around running our country.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 12:56     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


I think about what would have happened a hundred years ago. There were no antibiotics so maybe you would go for a walk or pick berries and get a scratch and it gets infected. Boom you get sepsis and pass awaybat a ripe old age. Dementia runs in my family and Ibhave instructed my husband to send me out to the berry patch behind our house when the time comes.

What other option is there?


I plan to keep horseback riding into my old age. My horses have been trying to kill me for years so I figure once I get weak and unbalanced and mentally slow enough, they can finish the job.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 12:54     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.


$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 10:31     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


Exactly. PP is delusional and selfish. Why should a shrinking pool of younger people subsidize a massive group of financially unprepared and declining old people? And why are these facilities so expensive? Because it’s a horrible, draining job. No one wants to care for old people with dementia unless they’re paid well. Like many of the other PP’s I’d want to be killed off humanely if I reach this stage.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 10:01     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


What other option is there?


At present, none.

I realize we have major cultural barriers to any sort of death with dignity movement, but I think it's a conversation to be had. There's no reason that we can't have detailed end of life plans, like if I am at stage X of dementia and am bedridden and no longer have bowel and bladder control I authorize withdrawal of nutrition and hydration with palliative care for suffering as I die.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 09:29     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
The ultimate point of saving money for retirement is to be able to pay for care in old age and not be a burden to one’s children. This is what your parents have accomplished.

Why would your mother be horrified at accomplishing the very goal she and your dad scrimped and saved for? It seems more likely that she’d be happy that she is not a burden to you because their money is being used for the purpose it was saved for.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 09:07     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


I think about what would have happened a hundred years ago. There were no antibiotics so maybe you would go for a walk or pick berries and get a scratch and it gets infected. Boom you get sepsis and pass awaybat a ripe old age. Dementia runs in my family and Ibhave instructed my husband to send me out to the berry patch behind our house when the time comes.

What other option is there?
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 08:55     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Cost of an in home caregiver is $30-$35 an hour. A year of that is $262,800 at the low end. On top of finding a residence suitable for their needs (one level, handicap accessible). Even if you could accomplish pulling an 8 hour shift of that a day, all day every day, (which would be incredibly challenging if working full time) it only reduces that to $175,200 a year.

So even at $14k a month it’s still cheaper.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 07:41     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.


The state paid caretaker is only working 8-12 hours a shift. The day has 24 hours in it, so you need to double or triple the 6k a month. My in laws in home care cost 22K a month (through an agency) and that was 3 years ago.


It’s cheaper if it’s a couple. My parents could stay together in their (paid off) home with one caregiver per shift and it was far cheaper than nursing home memory care unit where they forced us to pay for caregiver to sit with mom in addition to regular $10,000 a month.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 07:39     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?


What other option is there?
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 07:29     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this, I don’t think people realize how expensive it is.
We really need to consider universal healthcare, and universal nursing home care.


What is the point of keeping people with dementia who are bedridden and in diapers alive? I ask in all seriousness. Would anyone want to live like that?
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 07:24     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.


The state paid caretaker is only working 8-12 hours a shift. The day has 24 hours in it, so you need to double or triple the 6k a month. My in laws in home care cost 22K a month (through an agency) and that was 3 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 07/27/2025 07:10     Subject: Up to $14,000 a month
In Montgomery County, the cost to have someone do this 24x7x365 is $16,000/month, and that's off the books, not through an agency. Ask me how I know