Anonymous
07/30/2025 10:20
Subject: Colleague cannot remember my name
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am one of the only women on a team of men. I have a very generic white woman name, think ‘Jessica’ or ‘Hannah’. About six months ago, a new man joined the team. He seems to be nice enough but he cannot remember my name - despite having no issue with the men’s names.
Every time I meet with him, he either calls me some other name beginning with the same letter or a nickname of my actual name that I do not go by (so say my name is Jessica…I get ‘Jane’, ‘Jessie’, ‘Jennifer’, etc.) Last week I was so frustrated that I snapped at him when he started with the wrong name and said ‘Again, my name is not Jane. It is Jessica. JESSICA.’ It is starting to feel a bit demeaning: I think my boss picked up on it as well as he corrected him in a recent meeting as well (“Bob, I believe you are referring to Jessica Smith, we do not have a Jane on this team.”) This man does not have any cognitive issues or disabilities that I’m aware of.
How would you address going forward? I already feel like the odd one out much of the time and it’s kind of embarrassing to have to keep correcting him.
1) how often do you meet with him
2) men have a strong bias for monosyllabic names - it’s why we have so many short nicknames. John, Paul, George, Kurt, Kirk, Wade, Frank, Luke, Mark. Jim, Bob, Dave, Chris, Sam, Tom, Joe, Matt. How many syllables in your “common” name vs the men in the group? Do they go by short nicknames?
now ive heard it all
Anonymous
07/30/2025 10:12
Subject: Re:Colleague cannot remember my name
I have a very generic white woman name, think ‘Jessica’ or ‘Hannah’.
Hang in there OP. I had a similar challenge with being misnamed by colleagues, so I ended up re-branding myself with a new name. I’m now Jackie-Jo and it’s working like a charm.
Anonymous
07/28/2025 09:44
Subject: Colleague cannot remember my name
Anonymous wrote:I have name blindness to some names. Like I have a neighbor named Hames and I constantly am unsure it is John, Jim, or even Bob or Mike.
I like him a great deal, we go to the same church, and see it each other several times a week.
At some point the early name confusion can linger as a panic when you see the person and are aware you keep forgetting their name and that adrenaline rush jumbles the name stack.
Oh come on. He ONLY has trouble with the ONE woman's name? This is a problem he needs to fix.
Anonymous
07/27/2025 05:56
Subject: Colleague cannot remember my name
If he addresses you by the wrong name, don’t respond. Since boss has already picked up on it, thank boss in private and point out that it is not a good look for the organization if an employee seems to have trouble getting the name of the only woman right.
Anonymous
07/27/2025 05:41
Subject: Colleague cannot remember my name
Anonymous wrote:I am one of the only women on a team of men. I have a very generic white woman name, think ‘Jessica’ or ‘Hannah’. About six months ago, a new man joined the team. He seems to be nice enough but he cannot remember my name - despite having no issue with the men’s names.
Every time I meet with him, he either calls me some other name beginning with the same letter or a nickname of my actual name that I do not go by (so say my name is Jessica…I get ‘Jane’, ‘Jessie’, ‘Jennifer’, etc.) Last week I was so frustrated that I snapped at him when he started with the wrong name and said ‘Again, my name is not Jane. It is Jessica. JESSICA.’ It is starting to feel a bit demeaning: I think my boss picked up on it as well as he corrected him in a recent meeting as well (“Bob, I believe you are referring to Jessica Smith, we do not have a Jane on this team.”) This man does not have any cognitive issues or disabilities that I’m aware of.
How would you address going forward? I already feel like the odd one out much of the time and it’s kind of embarrassing to have to keep correcting him.
1) how often do you meet with him
2) men have a strong bias for monosyllabic names - it’s why we have so many short nicknames. John, Paul, George, Kurt, Kirk, Wade, Frank, Luke, Mark. Jim, Bob, Dave, Chris, Sam, Tom, Joe, Matt. How many syllables in your “common” name vs the men in the group? Do they go by short nicknames?