Anonymous wrote:Don’t try to change your DD. Focus instead on finding schools that will value what she has to offer, which is high stats.

So start a new thread on this board. Leave your DD’s story out of it so we don’t derail things by giving advice about how to “fix” her. 😉 Just ask for names of schools that both prioritize high stats and care very little about EC’s. There are plenty out there. Start building that list.

yeah, focus on grades, not learning.

Anonymous wrote:Omg pls do not create non profit FOR her

yessss, so overdone.

Drawing is an EC! is she self-taught? does she doodle? I would absolutely list that and how she learned to do it. In the challenges section, I would put a brief sentence saying there was no transportation available to after school activities on account of her parents' work schedules. My dd had very few ECs but got super involved in an online music community/chatroom and ended up spinning that into a "club/social media" type activity because a few of the girls there posted when low-level artists went on tour and then they started getting tagged in promotional posts. She also put down that she babysat for her younger brother. Does she bake/cook? Does she babysit? Don't worry about ECs - for most kids who don't have something exceptional with leadership they end up not being worth much.

She can list her drawing as an extracurricular. If helping around the house includes cooking, she could list that, too.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, She does actually have social anxiety but has blossomed in her social life this year. She's just not a joiner and on top of that her dad and I both work so transpo on weekdays is a challenge. No sports and she played piano/ violin for a few years but didn't love it. She just spends time with us, drawing, video games sure. I always felt like she prefers be home but not in a basement dweller way. She helps around the house. We have been trying to find her a job but that has been a little job as she is open to making money.

It is a contentious subject, but, if given the opportunity, she should consider discussing her anxiety and how she has overcome it in her essays, with concrete factual examples, and continues to work to overcome it. But if she does, it is essential that she address it as a challenge that she is overcoming with specificity. It seems that kids who personalize themselves do better in the admissions process as long as they can do so favorably.

Perhaps, this is too far out there, but if she could work with a school counselor to organize and participate in a a support group of other kids with social anxiety, that would show leadership, and be consistent with her application presentation. But I know that this goes against the grain of her anxiety, and may be pretty difficult for her, so it is just a thought.

Anonymous wrote:Just make some up. They don't call and verify.

lol
Genius.

Counselor’s letter will paint a different picture.

The root of this is that she is not motivated. You are not going to change her much, if it’s not from within.

Just wait for a few years and see. Kids change a lot after they become college students. They will get there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, She does actually have social anxiety but has blossomed in her social life this year. She's just not a joiner and on top of that her dad and I both work so transpo on weekdays is a challenge. No sports and she played piano/ violin for a few years but didn't love it. She just spends time with us, drawing, video games sure. I always felt like she prefers be home but not in a basement dweller way. She helps around the house. We have been trying to find her a job but that has been a little job as she is open to making money.

Teach her to open and run her own Etsy store. Get her a book on bread making or something.

If she’s going into senior year, it’s way too late for this kind of silliness. Plus it’s completely disconnected from anything else in her life. If dentistry is her current professional interest, build off of that. It’s authentic and substantive.

Title says Rising Junior. She has time.

Oops. Sorry. I missed that. 🤦‍♀️

I stand by my advice that OP’s DD stick with what’s authentic.

For me, the most important thing OP shared is that her DD is evolving well on her own. Socially, she’s finding her people and her social anxiety is receding. That’s amazing!!

Colleges care about ECs because they want to identify kids with genuine interests and engagement in something other than classwork.

For many kids, school-based sports and clubs are not interesting. The question is, what DOES interest them?

For a highly academic kid with an academic/professional interest, my advice is to build on that. If DD has an entire year, that’s plenty of opportunity to explore the world of dentistry - shadowing different kinds of dentists during the school year, doing some sort of “independent study,” and then something meaningful next summer, like reaching out to a dentistry professor re to help with research or plugging in to an existing dental non-profit to learn about the needs of underserved communities and to figure out how she can help.

Don’t try to change your DD. Focus instead on finding schools that will value what she has to offer, which is high stats.

So start a new thread on this board. Leave your DD’s story out of it so we don’t derail things by giving advice about how to “fix” her. 😉 Just ask for names of schools that both prioritize high stats and care very little about EC’s. There are plenty out there. Start building that list.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, She does actually have social anxiety but has blossomed in her social life this year. She's just not a joiner and on top of that her dad and I both work so transpo on weekdays is a challenge. No sports and she played piano/ violin for a few years but didn't love it. She just spends time with us, drawing, video games sure. I always felt like she prefers be home but not in a basement dweller way. She helps around the house. We have been trying to find her a job but that has been a little job as she is open to making money.

Teach her to open and run her own Etsy store. Get her a book on bread making or something.

If she’s going into senior year, it’s way too late for this kind of silliness. Plus it’s completely disconnected from anything else in her life. If dentistry is her current professional interest, build off of that. It’s authentic and substantive.

Title says Rising Junior. She has time.

Consider the Canadian universities like McGill and Toronto. More stats-based admissions.

NHS isn’t going to help much but better than nothing. She should be able to find online volunteer or other activities. Start now. I’m

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, She does actually have social anxiety but has blossomed in her social life this year. She's just not a joiner and on top of that her dad and I both work so transpo on weekdays is a challenge. No sports and she played piano/ violin for a few years but didn't love it. She just spends time with us, drawing, video games sure. I always felt like she prefers be home but not in a basement dweller way. She helps around the house. We have been trying to find her a job but that has been a little job as she is open to making money.

Teach her to open and run her own Etsy store. Get her a book on bread making or something.

If she’s going into senior year, it’s way too late for this kind of silliness. Plus it’s completely disconnected from anything else in her life. If dentistry is her current professional interest, build off of that. It’s authentic and substantive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just make some up. They don't call and verify.

Just no.
She should find a school that’s the right fit for her.

What is she doing when she’s not in school?

Mostly spending time on social media.

Can she become a sorta influencer? Pick a good topic that is not controversial - like "Conserve water", "Stop littering" "Save the pollinators" etc - conduct some cleanups, post the before and after pics or videos, and make that her thing?

Even posting something like - "easy and low cost healthy recipes for students" etc will create a narrative.

Have to be really motivated to do that kind of thing.

Agree. Plus it seems like a poor fit for a kid who has any social anxiety. Putting yourself out there publically is a recipe for attracting criticism. Takes very thick skin.

Better to take what she knows about social media and “create” a hypothetical social media campaign for someone else - an electric toothbrush company, a public health agency, or even a chain of dental practices, if that exists.

Have her treat it like a school project this summer. Have an actual end-produce to show for it - a PowerPoint or a “proposal” for her intended audience. (ChatGPT is great for brainstorming formats etc.) It can be all words or can include visuals. Whatever she wants.

Then share it in the fall with the school counselor who will be writing her letter of recommendation. Same with one of her teachers who will be doing the same. Ask for input. Even if she’s super shy and socially anxious/awkward, and even if the whole thing feels like it went badly by her standards, it 100% will show initiative and will give them something great to write in their LOR.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, She does actually have social anxiety but has blossomed in her social life this year. She's just not a joiner and on top of that her dad and I both work so transpo on weekdays is a challenge. No sports and she played piano/ violin for a few years but didn't love it. She just spends time with us, drawing, video games sure. I always felt like she prefers be home but not in a basement dweller way. She helps around the house. We have been trying to find her a job but that has been a little job as she is open to making money.

Teach her to open and run her own Etsy store. Get her a book on bread making or something.

Anonymous wrote:If she is competing with those stats against kids with the same stats but 10 yrs of viola, team captain for hockey, SSL champion hours etc, she is going to fall at the first hurdle.

This is why it matters very much what schools she is aiming for.

If she is competing with those stats against kids with the same stats but 10 yrs of viola, team captain for hockey, SSL champion hours etc, she is going to fall at the first hurdle.