Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Sounds like you can say no to the daughter coming and the nanny can decide whether or not she wants to come based on that information.

Agreed. I was leaning towards reading the girl, but she had a father at home and she’s in high school. OP can say no, and the nanny can decide whether she wants to come. If the nanny was a single mother who lacked family to watch the teen at night, it might be different.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

I think there's a huge goodwill factor to saying yes. It's a work trip for her, not a vacation, and it's not unusual to bring someone along on a work trip to make it more fun in the off-hours (ie, spouse tags along to a conference).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

Hold up. Your takeaway from the responses was that you wouldn;t be unreasonable to say no? That's a strange thing to gather from the responses. My takeaway would be, "lots of people understand why the nanny would ask for this and think she's not being unreasonable. If I want to be a good employer, I should probably be more understanding."

+1000.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

Hold up. Your takeaway from the responses was that you wouldn;t be unreasonable to say no? That's a strange thing to gather from the responses. My takeaway would be, "lots of people understand why the nanny would ask for this and think she's not being unreasonable. If I want to be a good employer, I should probably be more understanding."

But a lot of people answered that way without OP's follow up post that there is a dad and other teenagers who will be at home. It seems that nanny's daughter just thinks it would be fun. OP, I think you are fine to say no but only if you also tell your nanny it is totally fine for her to say no to coming at all.

Since the teen has another parent at home to supervise them, then if I were OP I would say no to this request. I would not enjoy my vacation with a random teen tagging along.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

There could be other nanny family dynamics and schedules at play during this time that you don't know about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not the best person to offer advice here but from a more overall perspective, it is unprofessional for any employee to make such a request. While this is a vacation for your family, it is not for your nanny as she will be working. Inquiring whether her teenager can accompany is simply wrong and unprofessional.

The alternative is that the nanny does not go on vacation, and OP manages her own children on vacation.

Or that the teen stays with the other parent or by themselves or with friends. OP you need to give more info - how many kids do you have, etc? We have four kids and vacation every summer at the same place. One summer the nanny asked to come with us (we paid everything for her, gave her cash if she wanted souvenirs, $200/nt stipend in addition to full salary, etc). Well it turned out it’s impossible to get tables for over 6 people here, so dinners were a disaster. The biggest taxis were little mini vans but they had a limit of 6 + the driver so it was now 2 taxis, etc. So t ended up costing a ton more when we didn’t need the extra help bc neither parent was working on vacation. I’d look into things like that.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

Hold up. Your takeaway from the responses was that you wouldn;t be unreasonable to say no? That's a strange thing to gather from the responses. My takeaway would be, "lots of people understand why the nanny would ask for this and think she's not being unreasonable. If I want to be a good employer, I should probably be more understanding."

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Will you be paying your nanny overtime? She knows she's going to be constantly "on call", she probably just wants extra set of hands to get some relief. Say no and pay her for 24 hour shifts, unless she'll be able to clock out right at 8 hour mark, go to her room and not be bothered till next morning. Would that be more cost effective than paying for a teen's dinner?

Poop pie scene from the movie "The Help" Approach carefully.

OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

Anonymous wrote:Wow some very bitter people in this thread this morning! OP made a request…she’s not forcing the nanny to come. OP can say no to the kid, nanny can say no to coming. Personally I think it would be odd if she joined.

In reality though, PP, it's extremely hard to say "no" to your employer like it's extremely hard to say "no" to your boss at work. i know how difficult that is.

Wow some very bitter people in this thread this morning! OP made a request…she’s not forcing the nanny to come. OP can say no to the kid, nanny can say no to coming. Personally I think it would be odd if she joined.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Watch your own kids then, it’s cheaper.

Yes, you are creating an ask on the nanny adding on travel. That affects her 24 hours a day while she is gone and impacts her family. If it's not a clear part of the job (which you said it is not), it is a request and the nanny can set whatever requests she want for it. You can say no to those requests, but then you won't get your nanny on vacation.

Mosy employers do this too, they pay per diem or employees get travel comp or similar perks for work travel. And work travel generally is disclosed and negotiated early.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Watch your own kids then, it’s cheaper.