Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

I guess this explain why so many women file for divorce a decade into their marriage. Many seem to be so desperate to have children that they just pick a guy they can initially tolerate. But that lack of chemistry is probably why suddenly a decade later they show up here screaming I hate my husband, we have nothing in common, I don't wanna spend time with him etc

Arranged marriages can be very successful without much chemistry because there is a lot more compatibility in values, religion, culture, circumstances, families, social connections and financial resources. If neither had sex before, both parties are equally excited to explore sex and go through the learning curve together. Also most partners tend to be young under 25 so they've more vigor and less baggage. (Not recommending them but highlighting that they aren't the all cons no pros scenario as projected in recent Western society.)

He’s not for you - Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

It's hocus pocus non-existent thing. It's a fairy tale. It's a unicorn. It can change on a whim.

It's "feels" and not logical. People who say they want chemistry in a relationship as a first priority are the women who are always bouncing around from one man to another and complaining.

the emotional part is irrelevant and unnecessary.

Logically you are correct.
Emotions come with familiarity, so any two people could become emotionally involved and love each other with time.

Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

+1

Anonymous wrote:"Butterflies" are the dumbest possible way to pick a mate.

This is yet another reason why getting rid of the "patriarchy" - in which dad picks your husband - was a disaster.

Have to say..... you are not entirely wrong.

No-Fault divorces were the worst thing the crooked lawyers/politicians have done to human relationships in decades.

This will turn into a sex once every 3 months situation after the kids, trust me on this. Both of you should run.

You don’t have any karma to work out with each other.

Have you always had a thing for bad boys OP??

Some women seem to only share chemistry w/men who treat them bad.
They may thrive on chaos + drama most especially if this was the type of home life that they were raised in.

Am not saying this applies to your case at all >> just offering some food for thought. 💭

You may not feel chemistry because your gut/nervous system is not reacting to this man. Which is a good thing. "Butterflies" is often just a warning system.

He sounds ideal, OP. Marry him quick.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

It's hocus pocus non-existent thing. It's a fairy tale. It's a unicorn. It can change on a whim.

It's "feels" and not logical. People who say they want chemistry in a relationship as a first priority are the women who are always bouncing around from one man to another and complaining.

I am sorry you have never felt chemistry with a partner. If you had you would know it exists. Marriages without chemistry exist and in many parts of the world are the norm but for some people, feeling something for your partner beyond checking off compatible factors is important. A lot of people want to be attracted to, aroused by, and drawn to their partner. They want love and feeling. They want more than a friendship or a checklist of commonalities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

It's hocus pocus non-existent thing. It's a fairy tale. It's a unicorn. It can change on a whim.

It's "feels" and not logical. People who say they want chemistry in a relationship as a first priority are the women who are always bouncing around from one man to another and complaining.

I guess you think arranged marriages are best as your view is two people who are very compatible is all that is needed and the emotional part is irrelevant and unnecessary.

I think you're a little immature dream guy butterflies you're expecting life to be a Disney film

Anonymous wrote:I think chemistry is vital. It’s what bonds you, makes you want to spend more time with them than you would with a friend, makes you want intimacy and touch beyond just ‘it feels good’. Chemistry to me isn’t just butterflies that more of a force that pulls you together. It is what differentiates between friendship and romantic love.

It's hocus pocus non-existent thing. It's a fairy tale. It's a unicorn. It can change on a whim.

It's "feels" and not logical. People who say they want chemistry in a relationship as a first priority are the women who are always bouncing around from one man to another and complaining.