Anonymous
07/09/2025 20:34
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s a USED car! If the in-laws pounce on the luxury model, keep telling them it’s a used vehicle and we got a good deal (NO specifics).
This. You got a “good deal” on a used car. Then you change the subject.
This is all you need. The fact your DH is also keeping a low profile about finances tells me you're not just overreacting. Ignore the trolls who go around hating on everyone indifferently.
Sorry about your parents, OP.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 19:28
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Tell them with all the migrants leaving the country, used car prices have finally started to come down and you got a great deal on the car.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 18:13
Subject: Re:Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:The weirdest thing in the post is OP’s comment that she “just learned” that DH doesn’t want his parents to know about the inheritance she got from people who died over a year ago. This topic was not addressed bw you and your spouse until now? Esp since you have always found them ti be weird competitive? Not discussed be you before you bought the car? Not discussed as you or right after you bought the car?
You have always found them competitive and yet it’s all your husband’s (just sprung on you) idea not to tell them? 🤔
Maybe because he wants them to think he could afford this car.
It's emasculating that he can't.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 18:10
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?
OP back - bought a used luxury car. Noticeable because I traded in an old econobox/no frills. I’m pretty frugal and budget conscious. ILs always have been super judgy about my career, lifestyle choices and weirdly competitive with my late parents about grandparent status, involvement, presents, etc.
So if they ask, just say you've been driving that econobox for a long time and wanted to treat yourself to a nicer used car. Key word here is USED car.
Also, mention it's too bad their son can't afford a new car for you. Maybe that will shut them up.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 17:40
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
It’s none of their business - if they pry, just say you got a bonus at work.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 14:13
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
You don't owe your in-laws an explanation of how you paid for your new car. When the last person of a married couple dies, it's reasonable to assume their kids receive an inheritance unless the parents were poor. I mean, you have to assume your in-laws assume you got some money. (They're probably wondering how much.) But you don't have to confirm or deny it because it's none of their business.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 13:58
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
out=ought
Anonymous
07/09/2025 13:57
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand you OP. You bought a new car with your inheritance. So what? Are you worried about getting smaller inheritance from in-laws down the road?
OP back - bought a used luxury car. Noticeable because I traded in an old econobox/no frills. I’m pretty frugal and budget conscious. ILs always have been super judgy about my career, lifestyle choices and weirdly competitive with my late parents about grandparent status, involvement, presents, etc.
Just say that the old one conked out and you had to buy something in a hurry. If they make any "observations" about how much it cost, agree with them along the lines of "I know! Cars are expensive these days! DH wanted to call you to see if you can gift us some money, but I told him not to!". That out to shut them up.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 11:43
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
If the amount you received was a life changing amount of money, you definitely shouldn't be buying a BMW with it! Assuming the BMW wasn't a terrible life choice based on your income/assets, etc., you can easily just say you got a new car because you always wanted it and leave it at that. The inheritance was the push you needed but you could have just bought it anyway, right?
Anonymous
07/09/2025 11:34
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:It’s a USED car! If the in-laws pounce on the luxury model, keep telling them it’s a used vehicle and we got a good deal (NO specifics).
This. You got a “good deal” on a used car. Then you change the subject.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 11:31
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?
People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.
Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.
OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.
Whatever your in-laws’ flaws, I can already tell that you’re kind of a shitty person as well.
There’s no bigger tell that someone is a competitive/materialistic person than wanting/owning a luxury car. It doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or anything like that, but it is indicative of your personality type, which would generally encourage negative reciprocal behavior from others, like your in-laws.
Wow if I was negative towards people with luxury cars, I wouldn't have any friends.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 11:09
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?
People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.
Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.
OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.
Whatever your in-laws’ flaws, I can already tell that you’re kind of a shitty person as well.
There’s no bigger tell that someone is a competitive/materialistic person than wanting/owning a luxury car. It doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or anything like that, but it is indicative of your personality type, which would generally encourage negative reciprocal behavior from others, like your in-laws.
You appear to be the "shitty person"!!!
Nothing wrong with wanting to drive a luxury car. Some prefer fancy cars, some fine dining, some have sports season tickets....it's all about what matters to you! And if you have the money to do it who cares (and it doesn't matter how you earn that money)
Anonymous
07/09/2025 10:34
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?
People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.
Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.
OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.
Whatever your in-laws’ flaws, I can already tell that you’re kind of a shitty person as well.
There’s no bigger tell that someone is a competitive/materialistic person than wanting/owning a luxury car. It doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or anything like that, but it is indicative of your personality type, which would generally encourage negative reciprocal behavior from others, like your in-laws.
+1
I have found this to be exactly true with very (very) few exceptions
Anonymous
07/09/2025 10:30
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP - what brand of car are we talking here?
People get new cars. Many, many people buy or lease cars that are more expensive than they should.
Curious what type of car would draw such a reaction.
OP - a BMW. I’ve always wanted one.
Whatever your in-laws’ flaws, I can already tell that you’re kind of a shitty person as well.
There’s no bigger tell that someone is a competitive/materialistic person than wanting/owning a luxury car. It doesn’t mean you’re dishonest or anything like that, but it is indicative of your personality type, which would generally encourage negative reciprocal behavior from others, like your in-laws.
Anonymous
07/09/2025 06:58
Subject: Concealing Inheritance
Who mentioned a new car. That’s kind of odd. Either tell them you got an inheritance or not. You aren’t obligated to answer their nosy questions.