Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You don’t say how old he is. You say he has relatives in their 60s who drink like fish, but you don’t say how old he himself is. In any event, depending on how old he is he sounds like fun.
He is 36.
Apparently his doctor told him both his fatty liver and BE are no big deal and he can drink...I don't think the doctor understands how much he drinks!
He did try to be sober for 3 years after his BE diagnosis...but he hated it and has started drinking again starting this January. I don't mean a glass of wine at dinner. In fact, I have never seen him have just 1 glass of wine or beer...ever. 1 turns into a bottle!
And of course, I am his no.1 enemy, the "not fun" wife who is a buzz kill.
I am increasingly concerned for his well being.
We met when we were 22 so...all american friends were drinking. I did not realize...he would not stop as an adult.
Is he holding down a job? Does he drink every night at home, or is he just a weekend warrior with his friends? Do you have kids and if so how is he with them? Does he drink and drive?
Anonymous wrote:I do not come from a culture of drinking and I married an American man who comes from a white catholic family that love to party. The people party into their 60s from what I have seen. Large parties, keg stands and whole weekends related to being hungover and reminiscing the great time that was had.
My husband is similar. He does have a diagnosis of fatty liver disease and non-dysplastic Barrett's esophagus. He recently went to Vegas with a friend for a week and came home with bruises on his body. Is it normal for people to drink so much that you get bruises??
In his normal week, after I go to bed, he will stay up till 4 am and drink a bottle of wine with 4-5 beers. Sometimes 2 bottles of wine. He then sleeps in till noon. When I say this is not okay he says I am just "not fun" and don't understand his culture.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No kids and he wants a divorce?! Take him up on it and get out there. He is doing you the biggest favor of your life.
Agree with this. Thank your lucky stars you don’t have kids with him and get out of there.
Anonymous wrote:You can look up an info graphic on this. Someone put together data using both self-report and aggregate alcohol sales to guess at about how much people are drinking a week. According to that it looks like 50 to 60% of people drink not at all or very little. Another 20% of people drink something between two and 14 drinks a week. 10% of people drink something like 15 to 30 drinks a week. And then the top 10% of people drink about 75 drinks a week. That top 10% of people That are drinking more than 10 drinks a day are the alcoholics. So I can see what you’re asking. Here is “is my husband in that 10% of kind of heavy drinkers that aren’t necessarily alcoholics or is he in that last group of people?“
I don’t know that I would say that his medical diagnoses sound like they’re specifically related to his alcohol use Barrett esophagitis is from reflux. I don’t know about the fatty liver.
I’m kind of curious about how he is functioning. I’m not sure if he meant that once a week he’s staying up late , drinking, and sleeping till noon. Or is this happening every day? Does he have a job? How can he sleep until noon? If he isn’t able to work because of his drinking or because he’s often hung over then that would be more concerning to me than anything else that you’ve said in your post so far necessarily.
You can look up the DSM five criteria on Google for substance use disorder and see where he fits.
Many of my friends I see in AA share stories just like this one. It's not "culture" - it's alcoholism.Anonymous wrote:I do not come from a culture of drinking and I married an American man who comes from a white catholic family that love to party. The people party into their 60s from what I have seen. Large parties, keg stands and whole weekends related to being hungover and reminiscing the great time that was had.
My husband is similar. He does have a diagnosis of fatty liver disease and non-dysplastic Barrett's esophagus. He recently went to Vegas with a friend for a week and came home with bruises on his body. Is it normal for people to drink so much that you get bruises??
In his normal week, after I go to bed, he will stay up till 4 am and drink a bottle of wine with 4-5 beers. Sometimes 2 bottles of wine. He then sleeps in till noon. When I say this is not okay he says I am just "not fun" and don't understand his culture.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I do not come from a culture of drinking and I married an American man who comes from a white catholic family that love to party. The people party into their 60s from what I have seen. Large parties, keg stands and whole weekends related to being hungover and reminiscing the great time that was had.
My husband is similar. He does have a diagnosis of fatty liver disease and non-dysplastic Barrett's esophagus. He recently went to Vegas with a friend for a week and came home with bruises on his body. Is it normal for people to drink so much that you get bruises??
In his normal week, after I go to bed, he will stay up till 4 am and drink a bottle of wine with 4-5 beers. Sometimes 2 bottles of wine. He then sleeps in till noon. When I say this is not okay he says I am just "not fun" and don't understand his culture.
New normal is no drinking at all because that's what studies proved.
Anonymous wrote:I do not come from a culture of drinking and I married an American man who comes from a white catholic family that love to party. The people party into their 60s from what I have seen. Large parties, keg stands and whole weekends related to being hungover and reminiscing the great time that was had.
My husband is similar. He does have a diagnosis of fatty liver disease and non-dysplastic Barrett's esophagus. He recently went to Vegas with a friend for a week and came home with bruises on his body. Is it normal for people to drink so much that you get bruises??
In his normal week, after I go to bed, he will stay up till 4 am and drink a bottle of wine with 4-5 beers. Sometimes 2 bottles of wine. He then sleeps in till noon. When I say this is not okay he says I am just "not fun" and don't understand his culture.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You don’t say how old he is. You say he has relatives in their 60s who drink like fish, but you don’t say how old he himself is. In any event, depending on how old he is he sounds like fun.
He is 36.
Apparently his doctor told him both his fatty liver and BE are no big deal and he can drink...I don't think the doctor understands how much he drinks!
He did try to be sober for 3 years after his BE diagnosis...but he hated it and has started drinking again starting this January. I don't mean a glass of wine at dinner. In fact, I have never seen him have just 1 glass of wine or beer...ever. 1 turns into a bottle!
And of course, I am his no.1 enemy, the "not fun" wife who is a buzz kill.
I am increasingly concerned for his well being.
We met when we were 22 so...all american friends were drinking. I did not realize...he would not stop as an adult.
He can't possibly be helpful around the house or a pleasant and engaged partner. Are you from a culture where women do everything and the husbands do whatever they want?
OP here. He is not. He wants to divorce me and has been blaming everything on me. Its his reason for drinking and partying.
Anonymous wrote:No kids and he wants a divorce?! Take him up on it and get out there. He is doing you the biggest favor of your life.