We tortured ourselves (and our kid) taking aware the Paci. She stopped napping and never went back. And she really, really struggled with sleep. It was so sad, but I stuck with it due to perceived pressure from the dentist.

She still needs braces as many kids do. It’s likely that your kid will need braces to have straight teeth whether or not she uses a paci. If I could go back in time, I would let her use the paci but only in her crib/bed. That was our comfortable routine before I got the (terrible) idea that I needed to go cold turkey.

Anonymous wrote:Take a pin and poke a hole in the tip - they won't want it any more.

So cruel.

Anonymous wrote:The pacifier was my DD's comfort object. I just let her use it until she gave it up on her own at 5. We had some rules along the way as she got older---only at home, and then only when she was in her room. I know people will disagree with me, but I didn't see any harm in letting her use it for the long term.

Same. My daughter lost her last pacifier in kindergarten and that was it. By that age it was mostly at night. People talk about how it changes teeth but I always knew based on our family that she would need braces. Besides that I don’t know why people care about pacifier use. My daughter had siblings that were a lot older and she came everywhere with us starting at 6 weeks old, happy as can be with her pacifier in place.

I'd start gently creating some rules for her to use it, with the idea that it will gradually decrease the use.

Question: at childcare when she's upset and crying (child took a toy, you just left, she gets hurt) does she suck her thumb to calm down or use her pacifier? Or does she get a hug from a teacher and calms down herself? I bet she CAN calm herself down and she doesn't NEED it as much, but it's a habit at home to use it and to "need" it. BUT if she's sucking her thumb at childcare when she's upset, that's different.

Here are perhaps the first limitations:

She can use it in the car (and leave it in her carseat - not taking it into the store, etc.)
At home, she can use it in her room (so if she really wants it, she needs to go into her room and do whatever but not bring it outside her room)
in her crib for bedtime (but not while reading books before bed)

So she'll have a "car pacifier" a "bedroom pacifier" - which also is the one she uses in her crib

And, from now on, she can NEVER speak with it in her mouth - this leads to lisps and a whole lot of misshaping herm outh to say words.

BUT you can't make her feel that when she talks her pacifier gets taken away - then she'll simply shut down. Instead, if she is talking around it then tell her to take it out to tell you so you can understand. Don't take it from her, don't insist she put it in her pocket, just she needs to take it out, hold it in her hand, tell you/have the conversation, then she can pop it right back in.
That way she isn't learning the wrong way to form the sounds. (test this by putting a spoon in your mouth and try to speak - you will say words incorrectly or be unable to form some sounds or words)

Take a pin and poke a hole in the tip - they won't want it any more.

Anonymous wrote:I dont have advice about weaning from it (I would probably just go cold turkey because I think kids that age are incapable of understanding only allowing it under certain circumstances) but for if you have another kid, just don’t allow a pacifier from the start. I never gave my kids pacifiers for this reason.

Pacifiers are actually now encouraged for newborns (at least they were for me) because it reduces the incidence of SIDs.

I dont have advice about weaning from it (I would probably just go cold turkey because I think kids that age are incapable of understanding only allowing it under certain circumstances) but for if you have another kid, just don’t allow a pacifier from the start. I never gave my kids pacifiers for this reason.

Well, if we're being very honest.

I sucked my thumb at night until like-- well into elementary school. Can't remember exactly when I stopped? But, I remember it was late enough that my teeth would leave red marks in my thumb the following morning.

Happy to say though, my teeth are fine! Now in my 30's and never once even had braces or anything of the sort, and my teeth are straight as can be.

Same here. Two of my three kids loved the pacifier for sleep/rest. We had rules, only in bed, in the stroller or car seat. Never playing, walking around.
I sucked my thumb until kindergarten. I remember trying to quit, it was tough, but I only sucked my thumb in bed by then. My parents were very chill about it, they bought me a doll as a reward for trying to quit and were supportive but did not tell me I had to quit. I wanted to because I thought since I was in school, I shouldn't suck my thumb anymore.
I never needed/had braces (my brother did so my parents would have gotten me braces if needed) and still (at 50) never had a cavity.
Go easy, set some boundaries but know that your kid will be fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The pacifier was my DD's comfort object. I just let her use it until she gave it up on her own at 5. We had some rules along the way as she got older---only at home, and then only when she was in her room. I know people will disagree with me, but I didn't see any harm in letting her use it for the long term.

This is not a good idea.

It’s ok. It really is. Don’t take away the thing your child needs to self soothe.

If they require a pacifier to sleep or be calm then they can’t self soothe.

You could say the same for all the kids who can’t sleep in the same room as other people, or without blackout curtains or without sound machines.