My mom never mentioned anything. I asked her a few years back when she hit menopause, and she said when she was 50. I'm 48 and have lots of friends that have complained about perimenopause for years (and to be fair, some who have never mentioned it), but those in menopause don't really mention anything. I don't think I'm experiencing any symptoms of perimenopause yet, but that could change any day I suppose.

I have a clear memory of my mother and grandmother being devastated when the studies came out that suggested HRT (they were both on Premarin) was not safe. They definitely discussed symptoms and alleviation of symptoms. My dad and both grandfathers were doctors and there was very little that was not discussed openly.

Michelle Obama talked about this in her podcast “the light podcast”. The whole conversation was very interesting. She talks about how growing up we are told what happens with our body and how the hormones change and what ages that happens. When it comes to menopause no one really talks about it. I’ve been making more of an effort to ask my mom, and aunts when they started noticing signs and symptoms and how old they were.

Why do you need your mother telling you anything when you are an adult?

Nothing.
I don't think she understood it herself. I remember she had some really bad mood swings. She was a calm, kind person and started losing her temper for a while.

Absolutely nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ and medicine was much more misogynist than it is now!

If any woman suffered symptoms in her 40s and 50s, unless they were heavy bleeding that gave her anemia and were thus quantifiable... all the mental health issues, mood swings and such were just "women being hysterical".

Our mothers may have internalized all this suffering as normal and something to be borne in silence.

You're right, but I hate that we've swung so far the other way that anything you experience after 40 is perimenopause. I still have clockwork cycles but anything that I try to see a doctor for gets hand-waved as peri.

I agree with this. My gyn brushed off lots of issues and told me they were just part of peri (age 48 at the time) I finally got frustrated and saw another doctor. Within 15 minutes he had the ultra sound machine out and diagnosed a grapefruit size growth in my uterus! Even I could see it clearly. I had surgery to remove it. At my follow up appointment the dr reviewed my current birth control plan. He explained I was not in peri and actually was over producing eggs which contributed to the growth. I am so grateful I switched doctors.

Anonymous wrote:Northing.

And my gyn is clearly lacking, too. She suggested increasing my protein intake to address the symptoms (which go beyond the basic hot flashes - joint pain, frozen shoulder, ear itching, phantom smells, rage...the list goes on). It's absolutely nuts that women's health is neglected by so many.

oh, the phantom smells. My family thought I was going crazy.

Anonymous wrote:Northing.

And my gyn is clearly lacking, too. She suggested increasing my protein intake to address the symptoms (which go beyond the basic hot flashes - joint pain, frozen shoulder, ear itching, phantom smells, rage...the list goes on). It's absolutely nuts that women's health is neglected by so many.

When the entire medical establishment is centered around research done on and by men, and is largely run by men, and given its history, this should not be surprising to you.

Nothing, and she had a hysterectomy around 50 so I didn’t go through it.

People (women) are just starting to talk about it now and I think that’s great. I’m 39.

Northing.

And my gyn is clearly lacking, too. She suggested increasing my protein intake to address the symptoms (which go beyond the basic hot flashes - joint pain, frozen shoulder, ear itching, phantom smells, rage...the list goes on). It's absolutely nuts that women's health is neglected by so many.

Growing up, one of my sister's chores was to empty the bathroom trash. She weirdly noticed that there was no evidence of period trash in my mom's bathroom for a couple months, and started a rumor at our church that our mom was pregnant. My mom sat us down and said that she was at the start of menopause, not pregnant. That is the sum total of our conversations with her about it.

My mother was very vocal about the mood swings, and took Premarin. However, early onset dementia started just a few years (or simultaneously) as her menopause.
I have had no symptoms with my peri, none whatsoever. Now I wonder if her symptoms were just from her Alzheimer’s.