Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, first of all, my kids have never been to a resort. But they’ve also never been to Rwanda.
They have been camping, hiking, and swimming in US national parks, to visit European & US cities, etc.

If you think the giant sequoias, the Hagia Sophia, and the Roman Forum are “super boring” just because they aren’t in countries people consider dangerous, that’s really a you problem. I’m sure you & your spouse can find middle ground if you try.

Op - I want to go see the gorillas in Virunga National Park in Rwanda. I want to take my kids to see the volcanic island of Ometepe in Nicaragua and go to Marrakesh and see the dessert. These are the trips I would love to take.

I would hitch hike with them and take them on buses instead did hire cars and guides.

You have probably told some harrowing stories and scared your husband. I doubt he trusts your planning and suggestions. Stop going on and on about how you want to be "adventurous." Stop telling stories from your travels. Ask him where he wants to go (spoiler alert, he may not really want to go anywhere!) You need to be quiet and strategic. Marrakesh seems doable if your husband is interested in Southern Spain. Do an organized tour to see Marrakesh so food, transportation, hotel are very curated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

I did a lot of things when I was younger that could have ended badly too. Just because I was fortunate nothing bad happened to me doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous. We've taken DS all over the world, but you've got to compromise a bit with your DH. You need to have some structure and responsibility with your kids. There is no need to hitch hike or put yourselves in potentially dangerous situations just because that's how you like to travel. If you want to go see the gorillas go (we have and it's a great trip) but you need to meet your husband halfway with his concerns.

OP - I also want to teach my kids resiliency and the ability to figure things out when everything goes wrong. Bus doesn't show up? What do we do now? Don't know where you are going to be staying? Find a hostel, etc. Everything is always so planned and figured out when we travel - there is no spontaneity at all.

When I was in my 20s and traveling across Latin America I literally had zero plans, would get on a bus and find a hostel wherever I ended up and stayed there. Didn't even have a cell phone (pre cell phone days) and would just wing it, because I knew how. I want my kids to be able to do this too.

What worked for you traveling solo as. 20 yr old in 1998 will not work now. You can’t “wing it” as easily with a family of 4 in 2025. Most places that can accommodate 4 people to a reasonable standard are going to be pre-booked.

Your kids can figure out solo travel when they are 20. This isn’t some life lesson you need to teach them

There is so much middle ground between a resort & hitch hiking all over Rwanda.

Buses are fine; hitch hiking is dangerous and dumb.

Many things you could do spontaneously 20-30 years ago now require advanced reservations, or you will be unable to see/do the thing.

OP, did you learn your travel “resiliency” as a young child, or later as a teen/adult? Did your parents take you on hitch hiking trips?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everywhere

My DH is very risk adverse. The most adventuresome he has ever been traveling is Greece. I have lived all over Latin America and traveled by bus, hitch hiking, walking, etc.

Kids are under 10 years old.

I did wait to go to countries with a high risk of gastrointestinal illness until they were big enough that I didn't have to worry as much about them being dehydrated. I wouldn't take a 4-year-old to India for instance where they can get dehydrated really quickly if they caught a bug. But I have no problem taking my 11-year-old there. She has enough body mass and will drink when I tell her to drink.

I moved with my 2 yr old to India. It was great. You just have to monitor them and know what to avoid (like ingesting water in the shower/bath, the most common way people actually get sick).

It's fine if you live there and have knowledge of local medical care, but it's also not as simple as telling kids not to drink bathwater. We were very, very careful with our food intake and still got sick in India. Even our local your guide got sick. I think stats show that >50% of travelers to a place like India will have GI issues on a 2 week trip.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe start with Japan

+1. My tween is comfortable navigating large parts of Tokyo. My elementary child is not, but can go to the convenience store and do a few small things.

How many weeks do you have to travel a year? You probably only have 20-40 trips before the kids grow old enough to go on more risky adventures. At that point, your kids can also consent. One of your kids may feel more like DH and may not want to hitchhike through Latin America with you.

Pick 20 trips that feel adventurous to you. Go sail through the Caribbean, bike across the USA or entrench yourself in local Taiwanese culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

That's actually just stupid. You were just lucky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

I did a lot of things when I was younger that could have ended badly too. Just because I was fortunate nothing bad happened to me doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous. We've taken DS all over the world, but you've got to compromise a bit with your DH. You need to have some structure and responsibility with your kids. There is no need to hitch hike or put yourselves in potentially dangerous situations just because that's how you like to travel. If you want to go see the gorillas go (we have and it's a great trip) but you need to meet your husband halfway with his concerns.

OP - I also want to teach my kids resiliency and the ability to figure things out when everything goes wrong. Bus doesn't show up? What do we do now? Don't know where you are going to be staying? Find a hostel, etc. Everything is always so planned and figured out when we travel - there is no spontaneity at all.

When I was in my 20s and traveling across Latin America I literally had zero plans, would get on a bus and find a hostel wherever I ended up and stayed there. Didn't even have a cell phone (pre cell phone days) and would just wing it, because I knew how. I want my kids to be able to do this too.

You don't need to go to a different country to have spontaneity. Take a train to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania and figure out how to get somewhere. Are your kids spontaneous already? Do you do weekend adventures all the time? I don't as that's not my style. But friend take their kids places planned and unplanned like every weekend. Including flights. They see a cool festival pop up and go. Or get last minute camping passes at a national park and go.

OP - Thanks yes that is a good idea! I actually would love if I could send my older two on a plane by themselves (grandparents have asked if this could happen) but so far DH has vetoed it. They are 8 and 10 years old and pretty responsible.

So work on your DH. Start small. Get seats where the kids sit together and you sit far away. Once past security they have to find the gate and be able to get on the plane themselves. Show him and them that they are capable.

Op - if your kids have a lot of independence do they have cell phones? We aren’t allowing cell phones until high school.

How old are your kids now?

5, 9 and 10

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

I did a lot of things when I was younger that could have ended badly too. Just because I was fortunate nothing bad happened to me doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous. We've taken DS all over the world, but you've got to compromise a bit with your DH. You need to have some structure and responsibility with your kids. There is no need to hitch hike or put yourselves in potentially dangerous situations just because that's how you like to travel. If you want to go see the gorillas go (we have and it's a great trip) but you need to meet your husband halfway with his concerns.

OP - I also want to teach my kids resiliency and the ability to figure things out when everything goes wrong. Bus doesn't show up? What do we do now? Don't know where you are going to be staying? Find a hostel, etc. Everything is always so planned and figured out when we travel - there is no spontaneity at all.

When I was in my 20s and traveling across Latin America I literally had zero plans, would get on a bus and find a hostel wherever I ended up and stayed there. Didn't even have a cell phone (pre cell phone days) and would just wing it, because I knew how. I want my kids to be able to do this too.

You don't need to go to a different country to have spontaneity. Take a train to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania and figure out how to get somewhere. Are your kids spontaneous already? Do you do weekend adventures all the time? I don't as that's not my style. But friend take their kids places planned and unplanned like every weekend. Including flights. They see a cool festival pop up and go. Or get last minute camping passes at a national park and go.

OP - Thanks yes that is a good idea! I actually would love if I could send my older two on a plane by themselves (grandparents have asked if this could happen) but so far DH has vetoed it. They are 8 and 10 years old and pretty responsible.

So work on your DH. Start small. Get seats where the kids sit together and you sit far away. Once past security they have to find the gate and be able to get on the plane themselves. Show him and them that they are capable.

Op - if your kids have a lot of independence do they have cell phones? We aren’t allowing cell phones until high school.

How old are your kids now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everywhere

My DH is very risk adverse. The most adventuresome he has ever been traveling is Greece. I have lived all over Latin America and traveled by bus, hitch hiking, walking, etc.

Kids are under 10 years old.

I did wait to go to countries with a high risk of gastrointestinal illness until they were big enough that I didn't have to worry as much about them being dehydrated. I wouldn't take a 4-year-old to India for instance where they can get dehydrated really quickly if they caught a bug. But I have no problem taking my 11-year-old there. She has enough body mass and will drink when I tell her to drink.

I moved with my 2 yr old to India. It was great. You just have to monitor them and know what to avoid (like ingesting water in the shower/bath, the most common way people actually get sick).

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

This. Hitchhiking is not safe with kids. Foreign travel usually is, but this is a bridge too far.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe start with Japan

?

I assume PP's point is that you can go well off the beaten path in Japan -- with kids -- and still feel completely safe, while also having exciting, different experiences.

After you have a positive experience in Japan, then you can branch out a bit more.

Of course, getting to Japan (and getting around Japan, with a big family) is not cheap, and the flight process also takes awhile - maybe 24 hours door-to-door one-way, from, say, Bethesda to Shibuya.

Agree that Japan is a good compromise. Other than a couple things we needed to book in advance, we just explored with no major plans. We felt completely safe wandering around and going off the beaten path without knowing the area. We do that wherever we go (except a few places that are dangerous if you stray from certain areas) but it still involves a little bit of planning for safety purposes. The concerns I had over my safety when I was 20 vs now with kids is much different. I took a lot of risks back then and 99% of the time I was fine (was robbed at gun point in Buenos Aires). I would not put myself in those situations with kids. You can absolutely teach them resiliency and street smarts without putting them in dangerous situations like hitch hiking.

OP, you sound naive. First off, many places in South America where you traveled before are much less safe than they used to be. Second, if you had married an adventurous DH, you'd have had different vacations.

End result: Instead of looking down on "regular" travel as boring, find ways of compromising and get off your high horse.

You're not wrong, exactly, you just have an obnoxious attitude about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe start with Japan

?

I assume PP's point is that you can go well off the beaten path in Japan -- with kids -- and still feel completely safe, while also having exciting, different experiences.

After you have a positive experience in Japan, then you can branch out a bit more.

Of course, getting to Japan (and getting around Japan, with a big family) is not cheap, and the flight process also takes awhile - maybe 24 hours door-to-door one-way, from, say, Bethesda to Shibuya.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

I did a lot of things when I was younger that could have ended badly too. Just because I was fortunate nothing bad happened to me doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous. We've taken DS all over the world, but you've got to compromise a bit with your DH. You need to have some structure and responsibility with your kids. There is no need to hitch hike or put yourselves in potentially dangerous situations just because that's how you like to travel. If you want to go see the gorillas go (we have and it's a great trip) but you need to meet your husband halfway with his concerns.

OP - I also want to teach my kids resiliency and the ability to figure things out when everything goes wrong. Bus doesn't show up? What do we do now? Don't know where you are going to be staying? Find a hostel, etc. Everything is always so planned and figured out when we travel - there is no spontaneity at all.

When I was in my 20s and traveling across Latin America I literally had zero plans, would get on a bus and find a hostel wherever I ended up and stayed there. Didn't even have a cell phone (pre cell phone days) and would just wing it, because I knew how. I want my kids to be able to do this too.

You don't need to go to a different country to have spontaneity. Take a train to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania and figure out how to get somewhere. Are your kids spontaneous already? Do you do weekend adventures all the time? I don't as that's not my style. But friend take their kids places planned and unplanned like every weekend. Including flights. They see a cool festival pop up and go. Or get last minute camping passes at a national park and go.

OP - Thanks yes that is a good idea! I actually would love if I could send my older two on a plane by themselves (grandparents have asked if this could happen) but so far DH has vetoed it. They are 8 and 10 years old and pretty responsible.

So work on your DH. Start small. Get seats where the kids sit together and you sit far away. Once past security they have to find the gate and be able to get on the plane themselves. Show him and them that they are capable.

Op - if your kids have a lot of independence do they have cell phones? We aren’t allowing cell phones until high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is downright insane to hitchhike in foreign countries with your kids. Or even in the US for that matter. I think you can do these trips safely on guided tours.

Op - I literally hitch hiked all over Latin America in the back of pick up trucks for 2 years. Never once had a problem.

I did a lot of things when I was younger that could have ended badly too. Just because I was fortunate nothing bad happened to me doesn't mean it wasn't dangerous. We've taken DS all over the world, but you've got to compromise a bit with your DH. You need to have some structure and responsibility with your kids. There is no need to hitch hike or put yourselves in potentially dangerous situations just because that's how you like to travel. If you want to go see the gorillas go (we have and it's a great trip) but you need to meet your husband halfway with his concerns.

OP - I also want to teach my kids resiliency and the ability to figure things out when everything goes wrong. Bus doesn't show up? What do we do now? Don't know where you are going to be staying? Find a hostel, etc. Everything is always so planned and figured out when we travel - there is no spontaneity at all.

When I was in my 20s and traveling across Latin America I literally had zero plans, would get on a bus and find a hostel wherever I ended up and stayed there. Didn't even have a cell phone (pre cell phone days) and would just wing it, because I knew how. I want my kids to be able to do this too.

You don't need to go to a different country to have spontaneity. Take a train to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania and figure out how to get somewhere. Are your kids spontaneous already? Do you do weekend adventures all the time? I don't as that's not my style. But friend take their kids places planned and unplanned like every weekend. Including flights. They see a cool festival pop up and go. Or get last minute camping passes at a national park and go.

OP - Thanks yes that is a good idea! I actually would love if I could send my older two on a plane by themselves (grandparents have asked if this could happen) but so far DH has vetoed it. They are 8 and 10 years old and pretty responsible.

So work on your DH. Start small. Get seats where the kids sit together and you sit far away. Once past security they have to find the gate and be able to get on the plane themselves. Show him and them that they are capable.