Anonymous wrote:sounds like she is bored and spending keeps her busy. She needs to find something else to fill the void in her life. It's actually not a money issue but a what to do with your time/life issue.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used to make about $375K a year. Had kids. Wife stayed home and lost her like $60K income. She never went back. Kids are 18 and 16. My work slowed and took a pay cut. We are now at about $210K a year. When things were good, I maxed out everything. Our home is paid off and worth about $900K. We have about 2.5M in investments(retirement and investment accounts). I'm 53. She's 49. My wife has NOT realized or acted like our HHI went for $375 to $210K. We over spend every.single.month but she just wants to take it out of our savings/investments. Although we have about $3.5M in total assets, we spend more than we bring in every single month. She thinks its fine. I'm like...we are not selling stock to pay for monthly expenses! How do I change her attitude? This is crazy. I know we have some assets but if we are to retire in a few years, she needs to cut the crap! Luckily the stock market has been doing well and making up for her spending but now that the marker is crazy...I'm very nervous. Any thoughts?

Is she going to go back to work in 2 years? Or is she just retired for good? If your argument is that you need that money for retirement and she feels retired, she may think it's a distinction without a difference.

I agree with this. Also, I think you just have to bite the bullet and have the conversation with her. Respectfully.

Also, after 18 years out of the workforce, given that her job wasn't that lucrative in the first place, she probably can't go back to work and earn a lot. That ship has sailed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We used to make about $375K a year. Had kids. Wife stayed home and lost her like $60K income. She never went back. Kids are 18 and 16. My work slowed and took a pay cut. We are now at about $210K a year. When things were good, I maxed out everything. Our home is paid off and worth about $900K. We have about 2.5M in investments(retirement and investment accounts). I'm 53. She's 49. My wife has NOT realized or acted like our HHI went for $375 to $210K. We over spend every.single.month but she just wants to take it out of our savings/investments. Although we have about $3.5M in total assets, we spend more than we bring in every single month. She thinks its fine. I'm like...we are not selling stock to pay for monthly expenses! How do I change her attitude? This is crazy. I know we have some assets but if we are to retire in a few years, she needs to cut the crap! Luckily the stock market has been doing well and making up for her spending but now that the marker is crazy...I'm very nervous. Any thoughts?

Is she going to go back to work in 2 years? Or is she just retired for good? If your argument is that you need that money for retirement and she feels retired, she may think it's a distinction without a difference.

Anonymous wrote:We used to make about $375K a year. Had kids. Wife stayed home and lost her like $60K income. She never went back. Kids are 18 and 16. My work slowed and took a pay cut. We are now at about $210K a year. When things were good, I maxed out everything. Our home is paid off and worth about $900K. We have about 2.5M in investments(retirement and investment accounts). I'm 53. She's 49. My wife has NOT realized or acted like our HHI went for $375 to $210K. We over spend every.single.month but she just wants to take it out of our savings/investments. Although we have about $3.5M in total assets, we spend more than we bring in every single month. She thinks its fine. I'm like...we are not selling stock to pay for monthly expenses! How do I change her attitude? This is crazy. I know we have some assets but if we are to retire in a few years, she needs to cut the crap! Luckily the stock market has been doing well and making up for her spending but now that the marker is crazy...I'm very nervous. Any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to decide together what you want to do. You need to set a budget together. And then yes, put the fungible money in its own account and she can spend fungible expenses from there.

The way you're talking though you might be on the road to divorce. There's one team here and you're not being strategic and working together. Your main goal should be to get on the same page.

Or, just accept that she's going to spend what she's going to spend and at least your family is intact and no one is addicted to drugs.

Divorce would be worse for her than him. She may get half his assets but her spending would be impacted. OP doesn't have a spending problem, the wife does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to decide together what you want to do. You need to set a budget together. And then yes, put the fungible money in its own account and she can spend fungible expenses from there.

The way you're talking though you might be on the road to divorce. There's one team here and you're not being strategic and working together. Your main goal should be to get on the same page.

Or, just accept that she's going to spend what she's going to spend and at least your family is intact and no one is addicted to drugs.

This might be the way provides she gets a job. I have a coworker (nurse) still working part time at 78. I asked why and she said it's purely to fund her casino habit that her husband refuses to pay for.