Anonymous
Post 06/19/2025 16:06     Subject: Re:Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:I’m one of seven children who have all done extremely well. Many years ago my mother said she never bragged about her children’s success because she knew she was blessed and others weren’t so lucky. I now feel blessed with how well my children are doing and I follow my mother’s lead.


She was very lucky she had healthy children doing well, not blessed. And she’s right, not everyone is as lucky.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 19:42     Subject: Re:Over Achieving Cousins
I’m one of seven children who have all done extremely well. Many years ago my mother said she never bragged about her children’s success because she knew she was blessed and others weren’t so lucky. I now feel blessed with how well my children are doing and I follow my mother’s lead.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 19:26     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:Compared to your kids.

Say your kid is a solid B student, non athlete, but pretty great kid all around and their cousin is a straight A /500 scholar getting recruited by several D1 schools.

How do you handle the constant bragging?


I don't understand the big deal? You kids have nothing at all to brag about? Just make something up and move on. You sound like my former SIL.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 13:46     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:People who brag are insecure. Truly talented people are usually very quiet about their ability and very down-to-earth.


I agree. High achievers generally avoid attracting additional attention through bragging - they already have validation and they just want to fit in. Bragging is attention and validation seeking.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 13:06     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
If they are that obnoxious, I would avoid them as much as possible.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 13:04     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is this overachieving? They are achieving and yours is not. Teach your kid better values.


How do you know her kids aren’t achieving? Working hard for your B average is achieving. She said her kids don’t play sports. Not a big deal at all, most kids don’t except the little kids whose moms bring them to play.

We only know about grades and sports. There’s a whole lot more to life than sports and grades.

My generation of cousins and my children’s generation of cousins are pretty typical academically, Bs and As in all the electives. Our strengths are in the arts and sports. My cousin had a D1 scholarship and played professionally. My brother was a top high school athlete in football, lacrosse and hockey and was a D3 athlete. My niece played varsity basketball with no club training. Three professional dancers and two painters who are moderately successful.

People who claim grades and sports are the way to assess a person’s success don’t know what they’re talking about.


OP is so jealous and so defensive that I’m pretty sure she would have mentioned in her op if her kid had any strengths at all.


DP, but disagree- some people only see sports and grades (usually related to only very specific subjects) as success. I have several friends who have more than average success and notable careers in various arts, and despite having excellent qualities of life now, their parents STILL perceive them as “failures”. In HS and for years after, they were told they’d never “be” anything. These are people who are maybe not A level celebs, but still make more than most UMC people, live in the greatest areas, have great work/life balance, and do what they love.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 12:14     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How is this overachieving? They are achieving and yours is not. Teach your kid better values.


How do you know her kids aren’t achieving? Working hard for your B average is achieving. She said her kids don’t play sports. Not a big deal at all, most kids don’t except the little kids whose moms bring them to play.

We only know about grades and sports. There’s a whole lot more to life than sports and grades.

My generation of cousins and my children’s generation of cousins are pretty typical academically, Bs and As in all the electives. Our strengths are in the arts and sports. My cousin had a D1 scholarship and played professionally. My brother was a top high school athlete in football, lacrosse and hockey and was a D3 athlete. My niece played varsity basketball with no club training. Three professional dancers and two painters who are moderately successful.

People who claim grades and sports are the way to assess a person’s success don’t know what they’re talking about.


OP is so jealous and so defensive that I’m pretty sure she would have mentioned in her op if her kid had any strengths at all.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 12:13     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Why do you think your kid is normal and their kid is an overachiever?

Maybe their kid is normal and yours is an underachiever (or even a complete unachiever).
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 12:10     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
It's hard to tell what sort of lifetime contribution people will make when they are 17. Some of the people who are the most vital to my quality of life are people who weren't great at essays, but have amazing spatial skills.

When I get together with people, I try to push at least one good story about something amazing that I have heard (e.g. the newly discovered Japanese plastic that dissolves in seawater). I feel as if that forces us to look forward, rather than back.
Anonymous
Post 06/18/2025 11:48     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:People who brag are insecure. Truly talented people are usually very quiet about their ability and very down-to-earth.


That’s wishful thinking. Most people who brag are not insecure. Even more common are losers who interpret regular conversation as bragging. Get it together.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2025 16:09     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:How is this overachieving? They are achieving and yours is not. Teach your kid better values.


How do you know her kids aren’t achieving? Working hard for your B average is achieving. She said her kids don’t play sports. Not a big deal at all, most kids don’t except the little kids whose moms bring them to play.

We only know about grades and sports. There’s a whole lot more to life than sports and grades.

My generation of cousins and my children’s generation of cousins are pretty typical academically, Bs and As in all the electives. Our strengths are in the arts and sports. My cousin had a D1 scholarship and played professionally. My brother was a top high school athlete in football, lacrosse and hockey and was a D3 athlete. My niece played varsity basketball with no club training. Three professional dancers and two painters who are moderately successful.

People who claim grades and sports are the way to assess a person’s success don’t know what they’re talking about.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2025 07:45     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
I was the overachiever. Anxious, neurotic and well aware that my parents love was conditional. It could be withdrawn at any moment if I failed to perform. If you want to get under the parents skin ask the sort of questions that would reveal if they know anything about the kid beyond the resume. They won’t.
Anonymous
Post 06/17/2025 07:35     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With kindness. You sound envious. It's OK to be proud of your kids, not sure what part is the "bragging": if the kid has straight As and is getting recruited, it sounds like facts. Sounds like yours is an underachiever perhaps?


Ehh, the two overachieving chicks I knew turned into sluts in college.


How bout you take your comments to incel. com instead of DCUM?
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2025 09:40     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
People who brag are insecure. Truly talented people are usually very quiet about their ability and very down-to-earth.
Anonymous
Post 06/16/2025 09:29     Subject: Over Achieving Cousins
I hear that my parents brag about me. I’m 50 lol. They don’t have much going on it their own lives and l think it’s hilarious they seem to take credit for my success. They were very hands off parents. They didn’t even know l was going to college until l told them where l was going.

Bragging is not cool hopefully you can let it roll off your back. My own tween is smart and relatively accomplished but not brilliant, l teach him not to brag.