Anonymous wrote:Rank these in order of the ones that you think contributed to it and add anything that was missed:
1) Resentment over things spouse doesn’t do (chores, parenting, etc)
2) Spouse doesn’t talk to you/distracted/on phone too much or doesn’t listen.
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Distant 3) Spouse is bad at sex
Many of his bad habits, maladaptive reactions, and anger issues are partly driven by his now-diagnosed mental disorders and lack of effort in treating them. He'd rather blame everyone else.
Anonymous wrote:Spouse doesn't seem to care about me as a person. The only attention I seem to receive is a boob or butt grab when he wants something. I've expressed repeatedly a desire for more communication and date nights and that goes unheard.
Then spouse has gone all in to a travel sport with our 9 year old, like he thinks the kid will be a prospect (kid is good but not a stud). So now I feel like he's an idiot too.
Anonymous wrote:Spouse stopped seeing me, caring about who I am, never cared about my goals/dreams. Went to zero emotional intimacy, but maybe it wasn’t even fantastic to begin with. Then he let himself go. Then we started arguing about politics and I realized we have completely different values. He gives zero effort and shut down my (albeit humble) attempts to reconnect. It’ll probably kill more than our sex life in the end. I’m still attractive, fun, and interesting. He just DGAF anymore and then acts shocked when I tell him I’m unhappy, which I have done maybe every 9 months for the last 3 years.
Attractive, fun, and interesting, huh? Should have added modest as well. And before you reply with "I am just being honest", consider if your DH would post that he is also still attractive, fun, and interesting.
You post that he let himself go. To what extent? Likely, your DH is not in the same shape he was when you got married. However, are you in the same shape you were when you got married?
There are likely several reasons why he "DGAF anymore" that you have not listed. Hypocrisy kills marriages as well.
Anonymous wrote:Age. Just not as horned up as I used to be.
Anonymous wrote:Imagine not having sex over politics. I bet this is only a concern for one type of person.
I would have thought more people would just respond that it’s because their hormonal desire is low. Statistically, the majority of women dont have natural day to day drive. I’d assume that’s the driving factor in the majority of cases, and all the other things above are just “excuses” that are covering up for the fact that you’re not naturally horny anymore.
I think you are mistaken about women …
Spouse stopped seeing me, caring about who I am, never cared about my goals/dreams. Went to zero emotional intimacy, but maybe it wasn’t even fantastic to begin with. Then he let himself go. Then we started arguing about politics and I realized we have completely different values. He gives zero effort and shut down my (albeit humble) attempts to reconnect. It’ll probably kill more than our sex life in the end. I’m still attractive, fun, and interesting. He just DGAF anymore and then acts shocked when I tell him I’m unhappy, which I have done maybe every 9 months for the last 3 years.