Anonymous wrote:Seems like some of your clients found their way to this thread. Some of you guys are wack jobs. I’m sorry about your husband OP and I’m sorry your clients couldn’t see past their delayed “joy” to react like human beings. People are at their breaking points it seems.

They seem to be scammers. OP is manufacturing a sob story here to get out of paying money they owe us.

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

You seem to think you are the center of the universe.

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Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

Wow. You people are literal monsters. We’re talking about basic decency. My financial advisors mother died and needed to reschedule several things. I said « I’m so sorry » and I sent a card because I’m not a monster. I understand that there are more important things in life than whatever I’m doing. I think you could probably use a therapist.

If you did that because it made you feel good, great. If you did that out of some sense of obligation, or to play the martyr, try to understand that not all of us do that. OP was pretty vague about her "frivolous" industry, but it doesn't seem like a business relationship intimate enough to require personal support.

It's okay to have boundaries around your time and not feel compelled to coddle and console everyone with a sad story. As multiple PPs have pointed out, grief grift is STRONG, especially on the internet. OP didn't apologize for bailing on her agreements in person; what would you have her stiffed clients do here? More than she did?

Nobody was mean to her. Nobody lashed out at her for bailing on her commitments. That's reasonable enough. Nobody owes her grief their personal attention. Calling people who are more aware of this than you are "literal monsters" heavily implies a sense of sanctimony and martyrdom that's really offputting. You're not winning people to your side with this framing, PP.

First, OP I am so sorry. That is incredibly stressful and I am so sorry your family is going through this.

I think there are 2 sides. Those of us who have faced major adversity sometimes find it easier to empathize and feel truly pained hearing anyone else facing so much. At the same time, many of us have been through dealing with story tellers where we had tremendous empathy and were taken for a ride. When I have developed trust with someone I know the story is completely true, but early on I am sometimes suspicious. Over the years I have caught people faking someone died, faking their own cancer (a coworker who finally admitted it to our boss) and accidentally telling me a true story but it happened last year and had not happened again. So if I heard your story and didn't know you i would still say "I am so sorry" and have empathy, but I have been burned and would hope I was not being taken on another ride.

I feel in the past people had more honesty and integrity. I don’t trust strangers stories anymore.

I also feel that in the past, more people were willing to do almost anything to get the job done. Your safety nets, if you didn’t do the work, you didn’t get paid. No direct judgment on you, I don’t know your specific situation.

Sorry about your situation, OP.

I get the business part and not having to care, but a few words of regret would have been the right thing to express. Last week, my nail lady canceled on the morning of my appointment due to a sick dog. Even though I was annoyed, I still conveyed my sympathy and asked if anyone in the shop was available to take me.

Like previous posters have said, referring your clients elsewhere would have been a best practice, but that still doesn't fix the lack of empathy.

People saying "I'm sorry" doesn't change anything. It's not "kind" it's just air. Why on Earth would anyone care.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:His legs are broken, yours are not. They’re probably annoyed that you can’t work.

But who has to take him to the doctor appointments, trips to the pharmacy?

“Sorry hon, I know we are married but I have to work so call an Uber to the hospital, go get your own medications. Suck it up, hubby. “

Caregiving doesn’t take the whole day. I would not hire OP back because it shows poor time management skills.

Tell me you’ve never been a caregiver without telling me you’ve never been a caregiver. He likely has a very complicated medication regimen around the clock so sleep can be impossible. Plus help with the toilet, dressing changes, general comfort etc. It takes all your time and your soul.

Dear OP's sockpuppet: sorry caregiving has you feeling burned out, but it's not your customers' responsibility to lift you up, especially as you bail on your work commitments. Get a therapist or a caregivers support group.

Wow. You people are literal monsters. We’re talking about basic decency. My financial advisors mother died and needed to reschedule several things. I said « I’m so sorry » and I sent a card because I’m not a monster. I understand that there are more important things in life than whatever I’m doing. I think you could probably use a therapist.

I agree! How hard is it to say, "I'm sorry! Hope he's recovering well!" It is always easier to be kind, in my experience.

People have completely separated work from their friends and family. It's not personal at all anymore and will be even less so with AI integration

Seems like some of your clients found their way to this thread. Some of you guys are wack jobs. I’m sorry about your husband OP and I’m sorry your clients couldn’t see past their delayed “joy” to react like human beings. People are at their breaking points it seems.

I find it weird not to have responded with something along the lines of "ok, hope he has a speedy recovery". I also find it weird how you referred to your business.

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Anonymous wrote:What response do you want from a business client.

They hired you. You can't do the work and tell them. They say "ok". Seems like a very reasonable business response.

This. These are not your friends. This is work and that was a reasonable response.

This was about to be my response. It’s business. They don’t care about the reason and you didn’t have to give personal details.

When this happened to a friend of mine, a hairstylist who had to move appointments because her mother died, she fired all the clients who gave her a hard time about having to change their appointments because of the *death and funeral* of her mother.

Not quite the same thing as yours OP, but she said she had learned that she just doesn't want to do business with those people anymore and tries to weed them out as clients early on now.

Providing a service that's seen a frivolous and optional may lead to more difficult and demanding clients, because they are the people with money to blow on this sort of thing.

Hope you dh recovers soon OP.

Anonymous wrote:I’m self employed and my DH was in a serious car wreck last weekend that left both legs broken and he was in the ICU for days. This meant refunding clients and communicating with them when I could. When explaining what was going on very few people said they were sorry or they understood. When telling a client I couldn’t complete their work and to void their check because of what happened I got an “ok” and that was it. I work in a frivolous industry so this isn’t like medicine or law. I’m not looking for attention or anything like that but I’m shocked at the complete lack of any empathy and since Covid it’s something I’ve noticed that people seem to just be indifferent to one another.

Wouldn't read too much into it.

People under 60 these days were raised on lacking manners for the most part, and those under 40 are so introverted and shy that even if they were taught good manners, they tend to not use them due to social awkwardness or anxiety.