Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks my kids are 3 and 5. They are too young g to be trusted to get their own food. I want to know what they are eating and foster controlled independence.

I've taught pre-k and now teach kindergarten. Your kids need to develop independence because at school, there is only one teacher and 20+ students. Have them pick out one snack and put it in an easy to reach container. Get some baby fingernail scissors and show them how to cut open a package. My 3 yr old can use a kitchen stool to climb up on a counter, open a cabinet, get out a small bag of popcorn, and cut off the corner to open it.

If they are reasonably good esters then it’s okay to be strict. We eat one snack at 9am, and they must be done with chores (at those ages it was make their beds, and tidy their room) and be changed out of pajamas into their daytime clothes.

Lunch at 11:30. (This is out biggest meal of the day.) Snack at 2:30/3pm. Dinner 5pm. We always have a “dessert” of some sort, sometimes just a bowl of sugary cereal, sometimes cookies or pie or whatever we’ve baked. Unlimited water.

Even a three year old can read a digital clock. They aren’t really hungry, it’s a behavior problem. I don’t allow unlimited snack for many reasons, one of which is it’s just annoying to constantly be preparing and cleaning up food. I’m not a maid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's a problem for us. Constant snack requests. If they have free rein they'll just eat tons of crap right before mealtimes. Haven't found a good way to deal with the problem tbh. Good to hear it's not just us!

Why do you buy “tons of crap” in the first place?

Um, let me see... **checks notes**. Ah right, because that's what kids eat!!

Only if you raise them that way.

Teach them not to overindulge or they might get an eating disorder and become overweight or even obese later on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's a problem for us. Constant snack requests. If they have free rein they'll just eat tons of crap right before mealtimes. Haven't found a good way to deal with the problem tbh. Good to hear it's not just us!

Why do you buy “tons of crap” in the first place?

Um, let me see... **checks notes**. Ah right, because that's what kids eat!!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks my kids are 3 and 5. They are too young g to be trusted to get their own food. I want to know what they are eating and foster controlled independence.

That’s not too young to get snacks. Once I knew my kids were old enough not to choke, they were allowed to always get any fruit and anything from one large drawer and one specific cabinet anytime they wanted

Anonymous wrote:Yeah it's a problem for us. Constant snack requests. If they have free rein they'll just eat tons of crap right before mealtimes. Haven't found a good way to deal with the problem tbh. Good to hear it's not just us!

Why do you buy “tons of crap” in the first place?

OP, you’re in luck—you’ve stumbled onto the one parenting forum where every kid snacks exclusively on organic tofu and kale, then calmly sits down to study calculus after cheerfully cleaning their rooms. Their pets fart glitter and the kitchen never needs sweeping. Welcome to perfection!

Meanwhile, in our very real house, snack requests are basically a sport. My kids ask for food the second I blink, and if their friends come over, the snack demand doubles. I’m convinced we’re keeping the goldfish cracker industry afloat. It’s a constant battle—so trust me, you’re definitely not alone.

If anyone actually has a foolproof system, I’d love to borrow it. Until then, I’ll be over here rationing pretzels and pretending the fruit bowl is more exciting than it actually is.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks my kids are 3 and 5. They are too young g to be trusted to get their own food. I want to know what they are eating and foster controlled independence.

A that age, our family had official snack times. One mid-morning and one mid-afternoon. Make a schedule and stick to it. Snacks shouldn't be a problem if you can agree on the times and the foods.

At that age we had set snack times. I made the snack and gave it to them at the table. Asking for snacks outside of that time yielded nothing.

They get home at 3pm, so have snack at 330pm. Make it something substantive and sit down with them while they eat. Have them help clean up then tell them you'll eat again when dinner is ready at 530pm.

I agree with others that its probably an attention thing though. 3 and 5 year olds need supervision.

We did the Ellyn Satter thing. Her recommendation for preschoolers is a sit down snack mid morning and mid afternoon, where the adult chooses what's available, but generally a couple foods from different food groups, and the kids choose how much, and we all sit down and enjoy the food together.

When my youngest was in Kindergarten, we shifted to them being able to pick their snack from things on certain shelves of the fridge or cupboards (this was to prevent them from choosing an ingredient I had bought for a specific meal), but we still all sat together at that designated time, and ate together.

Other than that, they didn't eat between meals.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Do you think I am the only one with this issue? Are my kids different? When we have friends over it seems that their kids behave exactly the same way…

Does it happen with you? Does it not bother you?

Your kids are very normal. It doesn’t bother me and my kids get their own snacks at that age.

Just make the snack something you want them to eat, not junk food.

Are you always hungry the same amount every day? I am not. And I eat when I am hungry, not on a schedule. I don’t want my kids to eat when the clock says just because, they will get fat later if they don’t learn to respond to hunger.

Anonymous wrote:We have a large snack basket. They can get themselves anything out of it and eat it at any time. Applies to 3 and 5 yos in our house.

If I did this, my kids would only eat snacks

We have a large snack basket. They can get themselves anything out of it and eat it at any time. Applies to 3 and 5 yos in our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are trying to get your attention. This is why working while trying to take care of kids this young doesn't work unless they have unlimited screen time.

+1
Kids this age will not be able to entertain themselves for long periods of time. You might get an hour, but otherwise they are going to pester you all day. How many hours a day are you working?

They are in part time daycare. I get them back at 3… it’s not even about work, but more about the constant snacking and asking for another.

So this is really about them coming home starving and having to wait until dinner. Kids (and adults) are naturally very hungry in the afternoon and a snack doesn't always cut it. It got to the point where I swapped the afternoon snacktime with dinnertime. Yes, I gave my kids a full [kid-sized] dinner at 4:00 with protein, vegetable, and carb. Then, at dinnertime when dh came home, I'd offer them a snack while dh ate dinner. While it's nice to eat dinner as a family, we had become a disfunctional mess trying to get the kids to wait until 6:00 to eat dinner. Dh was the one who suggested I give them dinner earlier so he didn't come home to a non-stop meltdown. Once they were in elementary school, that early meal became less important and they moved back to a more traditional family schedule.