Anonymous
Post 05/30/2025 18:40     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’ve had a couple of head over heels scenarios in dating that ended up going down in flames.

Currently my boyfriend of 5 months is slow and steady. We get along well and like each other. neither is in love and both are looking for marriage. He has good strong character, and his bad traits so far are extremely minimal.

I’m used to having crazy insane sparks right away. is what we have going on something that could be a good start to a marital relationship? Or is it a red flag that we aren’t in love yet?


If you are asking random strangers on this forum the answer is is no.

When you know, you know.


Yep, if you have any doubts, dump. That's always the safest presumption. Don't get stuck with someone you're not 100% sure about.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2025 05:54     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Maybe if he only answers every fourth text, you’ll fall in love. Or if he’s too busy to see you a couple times. That should do it!

Sorry, I’m being unkind but these dang threads drive me nuts.
Anonymous
Post 05/30/2025 05:52     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Do you post this every couple of months? “My boyfriend and I are best friends, have the best se* of my life, I miss him when he’s not around, we have a great intellectual and emotional connection, he’s the best guy I’ve known, but I don’t have butterflies.” GMAFB already!!!
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 23:29     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have confused drama with love.


Ding ding ding
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 23:13     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I’ve had a couple of head over heels scenarios in dating that ended up going down in flames.

Currently my boyfriend of 5 months is slow and steady. We get along well and like each other. neither is in love and both are looking for marriage. He has good strong character, and his bad traits so far are extremely minimal.

I’m used to having crazy insane sparks right away. is what we have going on something that could be a good start to a marital relationship? Or is it a red flag that we aren’t in love yet?


If you are asking random strangers on this forum the answer is is no.

When you know, you know.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 14:33     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:I’ve had a couple of head over heels scenarios in dating that ended up going down in flames.

Currently my boyfriend of 5 months is slow and steady. We get along well and like each other. neither is in love and both are looking for marriage. He has good strong character, and his bad traits so far are extremely minimal.

I’m used to having crazy insane sparks right away. is what we have going on something that could be a good start to a marital relationship? Or is it a red flag that we aren’t in love yet?


Oh oh looks like that battery is about to expire and flashing...I think your mommy instincts are guiding you. Don't marry this guy you just want a child
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 14:28     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You guys are marriage materials, slow burn and long lasting.

It sounds boring, but you can always try the fast and furious and soon flamed out as before.



Alternatively he sees this as a FWB situation that will drag out for years until he suddenly falls in love with someone else and marries her.

Not jumping into things or taking is slowly is one thing. But there has to be some kind of progress and I’d expect to start seeing that around 6 months. Otherwise waste of time if marriage is the goal.


PP. what kind of progress are you talking? Being in love by 6 months?


I mean, some strong feelings more than just some dude you see on the weekends? It seems unlikely to me that if the relationship was headed towards marriage you wouldn’t want to be seeing each other more often.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 13:10     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You guys are marriage materials, slow burn and long lasting.

It sounds boring, but you can always try the fast and furious and soon flamed out as before.



Alternatively he sees this as a FWB situation that will drag out for years until he suddenly falls in love with someone else and marries her.

Not jumping into things or taking is slowly is one thing. But there has to be some kind of progress and I’d expect to start seeing that around 6 months. Otherwise waste of time if marriage is the goal.


PP. what kind of progress are you talking? Being in love by 6 months?
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 11:50     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You do realize there is something wrong with you if you need tonoutsouce this question


I'd be more worried about a person who assumed she knew everything at 20-something, and didn't want some voice of experience. How arrogant.


Yep, you got atrogant because I trust myself to make good choices for me. Happily married 30 years - I must have done something right with my arrogance.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 11:47     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:You guys are marriage materials, slow burn and long lasting.

It sounds boring, but you can always try the fast and furious and soon flamed out as before.



Alternatively he sees this as a FWB situation that will drag out for years until he suddenly falls in love with someone else and marries her.

Not jumping into things or taking is slowly is one thing. But there has to be some kind of progress and I’d expect to start seeing that around 6 months. Otherwise waste of time if marriage is the goal.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 11:47     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. PP you mentioned a good point that I left out. We mostly just see each other on weekends and that could also contribute to my “not in love” feeling. It’s like we get along but we don’t spend a huge amount of time together. I’m used to seeing my partner multiple times a week. It feels like we move slow. but I know he is faithful and likes me. There just doesn’t seem to be a desire to be super enmeshed.


Do you miss or desire him when you don’t see each other during the weekdays? I was in a relationship like this for a year or so when I was younger, and it felt like going through the motions after a point, no real connection.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2025 11:45     Subject: Are we marriage material?
Anonymous wrote:You do realize there is something wrong with you if you need tonoutsouce this question


I'd be more worried about a person who assumed she knew everything at 20-something, and didn't want some voice of experience. How arrogant.