Anonymous
05/28/2025 13:06
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
My BIL and STBSIL have planned one for early May. We have let them know that that conflicts with AP exams and all sort of other things for high school students. They are proceeding regardless... wondering how many people with kids will be able to leave town then.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 13:04
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's much less expensive to host a wedding in Mexico than in the US major city we live in. We were able to include elements we wanted that we otherwise wouldn't have been able to have.
Weddings, especially in major cities, have reached astronomical prices. A lot of people are having small weddings or going overseas to the Caribbean or Mexico where it is significantly cheaper.
Another thing about this is that she might not be into planning the wedding a whole bunch. Most of these Caribbean resorts have essentially prepackaged weddings. Very little planning on the brides end and some people like not having to hunt down vendors and manage them or spend the extra cash for a planner.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 13:04
Subject: Re:Destination weddings - why?
My opinion is that it is an attempt to avoid an issue. However, it simply postpones.
Either they don’t want certain people coming or they don’t want to argue about details or involve family…
Eventually it catches up to them.
Either they don’t want certain people coming or they don’t want to argue about details or involve family…
Eventually it catches up to them.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:56
Subject: Re:Destination weddings - why?
Because something about getting married makes many people fail to realize that 95% of their guests don't really care that much about their wedding and would prefer it not be a purposefully expensive, weekend-long slog.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:56
Subject: Re:Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:Could’ve seen my own SIL posting the same thing 20 years ago.
After so much pushback from DH’s side, DH & I ended up just eloping and throwing a party after. We had our reasons for not wanting a big wedding, and don’t regret it at all. Finances at the time, life transition stage we were in, some family issues etc.
Oddly enough, one of his siblings ended up having a destination wedding several years later and go figure- they all attended. But would not for ours. 🤷♀️ and yes DH went (I did not, had a newborn at the time)
We live across the country from most of them, and maintain a decent relationship with the family. But we don’t go out of our way to fly in to attend everything either. (And we did not initially choose to move away either…military)
It all worked out, but their resistance started things off on the wrong foot. Since they didn’t accommodate us, we feel less obligated to accommodate in return and have missed many of their events. Usually we just do a longer visit (10 days) to them in the summer & that is it.
To add: the destination we wanted was in Florida and was related to where we temporarily lived at the time. We weren’t asking people to fly to Europe or anything like that.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:53
Subject: Re:Destination weddings - why?
Could’ve seen my own SIL posting the same thing 20 years ago.
After so much pushback from DH’s side, DH & I ended up just eloping and throwing a party after. We had our reasons for not wanting a big wedding, and don’t regret it at all. Finances at the time, life transition stage we were in, some family issues etc.
Oddly enough, one of his siblings ended up having a destination wedding several years later and go figure- they all attended. But would not for ours. 🤷♀️ and yes DH went (I did not, had a newborn at the time)
We live across the country from most of them, and maintain a decent relationship with the family. But we don’t go out of our way to fly in to attend everything either. (And we did not initially choose to move away either…military)
It all worked out, but their resistance started things off on the wrong foot. Since they didn’t accommodate us, we feel less obligated to accommodate in return and have missed many of their events. Usually we just do a longer visit (10 days) to them in the summer & that is it.
After so much pushback from DH’s side, DH & I ended up just eloping and throwing a party after. We had our reasons for not wanting a big wedding, and don’t regret it at all. Finances at the time, life transition stage we were in, some family issues etc.
Oddly enough, one of his siblings ended up having a destination wedding several years later and go figure- they all attended. But would not for ours. 🤷♀️ and yes DH went (I did not, had a newborn at the time)
We live across the country from most of them, and maintain a decent relationship with the family. But we don’t go out of our way to fly in to attend everything either. (And we did not initially choose to move away either…military)
It all worked out, but their resistance started things off on the wrong foot. Since they didn’t accommodate us, we feel less obligated to accommodate in return and have missed many of their events. Usually we just do a longer visit (10 days) to them in the summer & that is it.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:52
Subject: Re:Destination weddings - why?
We’re invited to a wedding in Italy. Bride and groom had never even been to Italy before the planning so I have no clue why they did this. Going didn’t cross my mind for a second. I guess that is the point- weed people out but still collect a gift from them?
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:52
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.
I think some families make weddings a bigger deal than others which is where the clash comes from.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:50
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.
Yup instead let guests be selfish, over complicated and entitled about someone else's wedding.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:48
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.
No. They can he lovely and intimate. Wedding only needs bride, groom and an officiant.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:47
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:I got married in Italy because I married a woman that was from Chianti but came over to the states at 10. All her family was back there.
Is that a 'destination wedding'?
No. That's a regular, local wedding for the bride.
Destination is where neither the bride, groom, nor their families live. aka usually a vacation locale
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:47
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
It's a lot to ask of guests
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:46
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:
We spent way more than planned but everyone talks about it to this day.
That's complete opposite of being sensible.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:45
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Agree. Why not just have a simple local ceremony, and then go on a honeymoon?
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.
Destination weddings are selfish and overcomplicated, and scream of entitlement.
Anonymous
05/28/2025 12:43
Subject: Destination weddings - why?
Anonymous wrote:My future sister in law wants a destination wedding. This is extremely inconvenient and not wanted from the groom’s side. Her family and friends are younger. We have kids in high school who have their own obligations. We will make it work. I’m pretty certain no one from our family will fly to this destination to then drive another few hours for a wedding.
Is the destination more important than the guests?
Is it expected that many guests will decline?
They can marry how they want then throw a little celebratory get together for close family and friends who couldn't join due to logistics or those people can throw one for the couple. Why make it a matter of conflict? Let people enjoy their special day instead of worrying about your wants.