Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

Please stop posting the same comment over and over on different threads.

I "forced" my kids to do swim team one year. My oldest was 10. Turns out that the pool was his happy place! He joined a winter team and swam for years. He was slow that first year, but got stronger every day. Younger kids swam as well and one still does.

Have him give it a try for a season. If nothing else, he'll get in good shape!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and while I am on it - WHY ARE THE ADULTS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE KIDS?

little kids, fine.

but teenagers should be able to set up chairs and stuff the evening before! instead it's all these moms out there doing it for their spoiled teens.

Then don’t do it. This really isn’t as difficult as you are making it sound.

The point is that if OP's son does swim team, SHE WILL BE EXPECTED TO DO THESE THINGS. If she doesn't, she will be shamed, gossiped about, her son might be kicked off the team, etc.

I tried to suggest - "Let's make this simpler. Let's not do a banquet. Let's not do gift bags. Let's not bring the kids snack. If you think your kid will get hungry, bring your kid your own snack. Etc. That will make everything simpler and decrease the work load." The moms who don't have jobs want to justify their lives by making up these volunteer "needs" and then forcing other women to do them through shame, guilt, shunning, gossip, etc.

So my main point is, OP, swim team culture sucks and I'd recommend you tay away unless your kid starts BEGGING to do it.

Oh darlin. Bless your heart. I’m sorry you have created this fiction. No doubt you experienced something you could not handle, and maybe even some mean people, but — honey — let it go. Your experience is not universal, and you sound unhinged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and while I am on it - WHY ARE THE ADULTS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE KIDS?

little kids, fine.

but teenagers should be able to set up chairs and stuff the evening before! instead it's all these moms out there doing it for their spoiled teens.

Then don’t do it. This really isn’t as difficult as you are making it sound.

The point is that if OP's son does swim team, SHE WILL BE EXPECTED TO DO THESE THINGS. If she doesn't, she will be shamed, gossiped about, her son might be kicked off the team, etc.

I tried to suggest - "Let's make this simpler. Let's not do a banquet. Let's not do gift bags. Let's not bring the kids snack. If you think your kid will get hungry, bring your kid your own snack. Etc. That will make everything simpler and decrease the work load." The moms who don't have jobs want to justify their lives by making up these volunteer "needs" and then forcing other women to do them through shame, guilt, shunning, gossip, etc.

So my main point is, OP, swim team culture sucks and I'd recommend you tay away unless your kid starts BEGGING to do it.

If competitive swimming isn't his thing, don't make him.

One of my kids hated swimming. Refused to take the swim test at camp (swimming a 25) until his counselors basically forced him at 10y. The next year, a friend asked him to join our neighborhood team and he ended up loving it. Swam summer swim till he aged out, swam HS varsity (captain), and swam club swim from 13-18. I can guarantee you, if I had made him swim, he would have hated it. But because it was with friends, he ended up loving it.

Let him be. He doesn’t want to do it, so don’t make him. It’s silly and time consuming.

Also wanted to add, because your son kayaks is even more reason to do swim team. He will gain a lot of endurance doing the boring laps! But I wouldn’t push it more than one season if he ends up not liking it.
(Also full time working parent here, I don’t find volunteering hard. We just sign up to time or bring food or something).

I would push it for one season. Kids really improve so much with swim team and become such strong swimmers. And then if they don’t want to do it next year let it die.

What is he doing that keeps freestyle from being legal? Is he fully submerged? Walking on the bottom of the pool? Again, he could swim back and be legal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Full time (60 hour/week) professional here. I don’t find volunteering to be difficult. I officiate almost every meet. Stop with the SAHM crap. Every one of the parents who volunteers for our swim team — including the team reps, which so far superior in hours to any other volunteer role — works full time. We are not a pool of SAH parents.

+1

I can’t speak for other pools, but I’d also point out that at our pool, configuring the pool deck for a meet involves a lot more than “setting up chairs”. The whole deck has to be rearranged and other equipment has to be taken out and set up, usually late on a Friday in time for an early Saturday am (or in a short window on a Monday). It’s a significant amount of work. Parents helping the coaches with this makes it go so much faster. This isn't make work nor coddling teens, its about efficiencies.
You are such an expert on something you’ve acknowledged you don’t participate in, yet continue to dismiss information from people that do. I’m also curious why you’re on this board. Do you have a club swimmer? If so, I certainly hope you’re volunteering there.
Unlike any other sport I can think of, swimming requires a massive number of volunteers to run a single meet. It’s not make work, it literally can’t happen without them. And this is true at any level of the sport, not just summer swim leagues.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Sports is his weakness due to his low muscle tone. Swimming is not his only exercise, and he also does summer kayaking, spring/fall soccer, spring/fall/winter basketball and full year indoor rock climbing. He is the type that enjoys taking lessons in group and he never practices for a second outside of his lesson time. He just takes any sports for fun. All of his free time are screentime, boardgame, chess or reading. His academic is all As on report card, and he also never spends a minute to study. His life is just playing and having fun. I feel like working hard is so tough to him, and I worry what he will become because he does not like to take challenges or working hard.

How often is he kayaking in the summer? Unless frequently,
He needs a summer exercise. Also, since he enjoys swim lessons, if you can afford those, just do those. My older kids have been giving swim lessons for years…they could get his freestyle legal…but like with his backstroke, if he doesn’t practice, he will be able to swim but slowly.

Anonymous wrote:We tried summer swim team once in our neighborhood and while everyone on the team (coaches, kids and volunteer parents) was perfectly nice... no one in the family enjoyed it. It was so boring. I don't get the appeal of swimming up and down a lane, to be honest, and neither did my kids. We enjoy the pool recreationally, and both have basic swimming skills. That'll have to do.

My kids did ballet, gym, and horseback-riding instead.

Why are you in a Swimming DCUM forum, then?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Full time (60 hour/week) professional here. I don’t find volunteering to be difficult. I officiate almost every meet. Stop with the SAHM crap. Every one of the parents who volunteers for our swim team — including the team reps, which so far superior in hours to any other volunteer role — works full time. We are not a pool of SAH parents.

Anonymous wrote:Oh and while I am on it - WHY ARE THE ADULTS DOING THESE THINGS FOR THE KIDS?

little kids, fine.

but teenagers should be able to set up chairs and stuff the evening before! instead it's all these moms out there doing it for their spoiled teens.

Then don’t do it. This really isn’t as difficult as you are making it sound.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh god, have you seen parent swim team culture? It is the worst. Lots of SAHMs with too much time on their hands inventing "necessary" volunteer tasks like making dumbass gift bags and pressuring other moms to volunteer. You have to set out chairs, time races, etc. if he does not want to do it, let it go. Plus at ten, most of the kids will have been doing it a couple years and he might be the odd guy out.

Sign him up for more lessons, though. Give him the option between group or private. He needs to be able to swim better than that.

What? It’s always been an all volunteer thing and you have to do your part. It’s not just sahp. This kid cannot swim so it’s silly.

do your part? timing races, sure. putting together stupid gift bags and organizing overly elaborate "banquets"? no. not necessary.

You lumped in setting out chairs and timing with making the gift bags. Do what you feel adds value, say no to what you think doesn’t add value and stop complaining.

So the problem is that the sahms that create make work then like to complain that THEY have volunteered X hours so everyone else should work X hours. But if we just cut down the stupid make-work, we would all have to volunteer fewer hours.

I'm guessing you are the SAHM that likes to gossip about the moms who "don't do enough" as you tie little bows around some gift bag crap.

Love posters who think they know all about other posters. Are you psychic?

And your animus against SAHMs is really out if date.

Let me explain in small words.

I am happy to volunteer my time so my kids can have a fun, well-run meet. I do what I feel adds value - timing, S&T, starter. I say no to things I don’t think add value or I don’t like to do. I don’t complain about volunteering. I don’t listen to the whiny parents who complain that they have to volunteer but expect meets to somehow just magically happen.

Right, so you agree that you have to spend time volunteering for swim team yourself. Most women who has jobs outside the home think all that volunteering is a PITA to fit into their already busy lives and OP should factor that in to whether she wants her son to do swim team. We stopped. It was too much BS volunteering and gossip from the other cliquey SAHMs about how much all the busier moms sucked. No thanks.

Yes, parents need to volunteer. Do you think meets run themselves or were you hoping to freeload off the parents who do all the volunteering?

If the latter, you were right to quit. It wasn’t what you wanted to be doing and the parents doing the work were tired of carrying your dead weight.

As for the cliquey gossipy moms, you really need to learn to tune people out and live your life.

And stop blaming everything on SAHMs. You sound ridiculous.