Anonymous wrote:6 pm.

6:30 or 7 at the latest if there are heavy heavy appetizers available.

Wtf did they expect yall to do from 4-7?! Spend 3 hours just sitting around waiting for dinner? Weird.

There were appetizers, and they expected people to chat and socialize. The point is the conviviality, not the burgers. If all you wanted was a burger, hit up a drive through.

When we invite people over we are very clear when food will be served so they can plan their day accordingly. So a 4 pm invite will say? Food out by 5 or whatever. Those days we have 2 meals usually. Especially for a Sunday get together we tend to eat earlier so everyone can get home and reset for the week.

My mom can legit be like this when she hosts because she rarely is hungry. I think older people eat like tiny birds. When we go over there, we know not to arrive too hungry (esp my husband) because meal times can be random, she gets distracted with other things, etc. But she is also the type of person who wants to do everything herself and wants you to sit down and stay out of her way, so it is not like you can help yourself, or offer to help her in anyway. So if you’re not already minimally fed before you go over there, you can feel like you are being held hostage as you mentally play guessing games over when she will actually finish making that marinade, or pulling the meatloaf out of the oven, etc all the while you are attempting to keep up polite and casual conversation.

Anonymous wrote:Who needs to eat at 4pm? Children? Adults eat dinner at 7pm or later where I am from.

I go to bed at 9. I’m absolutely having dinner by 6:30.

Anonymous wrote:Who needs to eat at 4pm? Children? Adults eat dinner at 7pm or later where I am from.

People who plan their day and have a late breakfast and then expect to eat at their invited dinner event around 4:30. Lots of us love just the two meals if timed well. We don't want to stuff our faces after 7 and sit around digesting and turning that food into fat.

Who needs to eat at 4pm? Children? Adults eat dinner at 7pm or later where I am from.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be heavy appetizers if food not ready at 4:00. I’d say on invitation, dinner at 6 but come early if you’d like a drink or apps at 5.

+1 I assume there will be food apps near the start time of a BBQ..and actual grilling would start shortly afterward. Otherwise it should say on the invite. Especially if there are kids.

You know in Spain, they often don’t even start eating until midnight…

Yes but they had a huge multi-course meal before their siesta and then they had some tapas at the bar around 5/6–theyre not starving

Anonymous wrote:There should be heavy appetizers if food not ready at 4:00. I’d say on invitation, dinner at 6 but come early if you’d like a drink or apps at 5.

+1 The invitation should note the times because arriving at 4 and dinner not even started until after 6 would annoy me. I'm ready to go home after two hours!

We are having a Sunday BBQ in a few weeks. We all gave to work the next day. Invite us 4 30. Will grill at 530-6. Hope people will be saying good night around 7 30.

Anonymous wrote:So ... if you invite some neighbors over for dinner, which is burgers on the grill, and tell them to come at 4pm, at what point is it unreasonable if there is no dinner yet?

Invited over at 4pm for burgers, other neighbors were invited as well, and host decides to wait for other neighbor's grown kid to show up with their kids. It's 6:30, and they are just lighting the coals now at 6:30pm. FWIW, there were a few snacky foods out (cheese and crackers).

I'm hangry and trying to be civil, lol.

I would be hangry as well!
I would have left to grab a burger 🍔 at the closest greasy spoon nearby.

I would expect food to be served at the latest 4:30-45.

After that is just plain rude.

Dang, don’t invite people at 4 if youre not feeding them until 6 or 7. A 4 arrival and I expect those coals ready to cook at 5. You could get away with later if there’s a potluck type thing so there’s melon, salads and beans to eat, but no substantial food until 6 or 7 is nuts. At least tell people what to expect..come anytime after 4, burgers and dogs at 630 or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From the bbq's I have hosted when we tell people it starts at 4 we will have some sort of food on the grill by 4:30 say hotdogs followed by burgers, steak then chicken.

We start with dogs and burgers because we know kids get hungry quicker and both are quick to cook.

We usually have the grill going for 2-2 1/2 hours. Plus we have fruit, chips etc out.

Who eats dinner at 4:30?!

People who invite you for 4? 4:30 is the right answer here.

If food is not being served until 6 the invite should be like "we're having dinner at 6 but come hang out at 4." If I were invited to a barbecue at 4 I wouldn't have eaten lunch.

Anonymous wrote:6 pm.

6:30 or 7 at the latest if there are heavy heavy appetizers available.

Wtf did they expect yall to do from 4-7?! Spend 3 hours just sitting around waiting for dinner? Weird.

Maybe take a tour of the home, play charades, and listen to a CD of Hunter’s band?
“She took me by the hand…”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There should be heavy appetizers if food not ready at 4:00. I’d say on invitation, dinner at 6 but come early if you’d like a drink or apps at 5.

+1 I assume there will be food apps near the start time of a BBQ..and actual grilling would start shortly afterward. Otherwise it should say on the invite. Especially if there are kids.

You know in Spain, they often don’t even start eating until midnight…

Anonymous wrote:What matters is the length of time between the guests' expected arrival and the meal you invited them for. Four+ hours between arrival and serving the meal is ridiculous.

Charcoal takes a while, it's not like a gas grill. So, no, lighting the charcoal at 6:30 and starting to cook the food at 8:00, four hours after your guests arrived, is not good hosting.

“Three hours from NOW?…or three hours from earlier…like 4:00?”