Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 08:41     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote: Whenever my husband has a dish that comes with some sauce on the side he asks me “what do I do with this sauce?” He knows this annoys me and I tell him he can do whatever he wants with it. He asked me again tonight and I said okay rule of thumb so you don’t have to ask me anymore is that you can dip your food in it, pour it on top, or leave it alone if you don’t want it. He got upset and said I was being rude and I said I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude but please don’t ask me this anymore I’m not a sauce whisperer. He also can’t seem to put anything in the microwave without asking me how long to put it in. He knows this annoys me. My answer is always the same, “until it’s hot! I don’t have the magic answer for how long that takes.” I love my husband but these two things get on my damn nerves. Am I being unreasonable?? I don’t know how else to nicely shut this down.


You should start elaborately flagging down the waiter and asking them questions about the sauce loudly. “EXCUSE ME! MY HUSBAND ISNT SURE WHAT TO DO WITH THIS SAUCE! WHAT ARE HIS OPTIONS?” Leave a big tip. After a few times he’ll be too embarrassed to ask you any more.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 08:27     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I get why it's annoying. Id probably ignore him. Is this maybe a class thing? Did he grow up not eating out and he's worried 5 doing the wrong thing similar to using the wrong fork?

OP-he grew up middle class in a household that was pretty ignorant about food. His dad basically only eats steak, potatoes and canned green beans. I feel bad but after 10 years I can only say the same thing so many times. If I ignore him he’s going to say I’m rude. I give him the same answer every time I’m not sure why he doesn’t learn from it. I feel like a broken record sometimes


If you were going to list your top five complaints about your husband, what would they be? The sauce thing and the microwave thing can be two of them if you want. Just trying to get a sense of how these issues fit into your life as a whole.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 08:26     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote:I have a huge pet piece about food being ruined by over microwaving so I really love it when people ask my microwave opinion. I’ve got serious microwave skills.

But the sauce thing would probably irritate me because it does seem pretty obvious. Your answer seemed to me accurate. You can pour it, dip into into, or ignore it. Probably best to dip first to see if it’s good before you decide on one of the other two options, though.


Maybe you could give OP's husband your number and he could call you with all your questions.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 08:24     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You are not being unreasonable. Grown ups should know how to use sauce and microwaves. But is it worth being upset about? I’d say no. If this is the kind of stuff that you are upset about you have it pretty good and just try to enjoy life while it’s good.


This. He's so ridiculous for needing to ask you what to do with sauce, but I can't see myself getting upset over it. I'd probably just fondly roll my eyes.


I think it's a quirk and my husband and I both do things like this to a certain extent. He is looking to you and if he isn't otherwise helpless (i.e. I can't pack the kids for camp because I couldn't possibly know what they would need!) then I would roll my eyes or laugh it off. If he is generally useless then I'd focus on the bigger issues.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2025 08:13     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote: Whenever my husband has a dish that comes with some sauce on the side he asks me “what do I do with this sauce?” He knows this annoys me and I tell him he can do whatever he wants with it. He asked me again tonight and I said okay rule of thumb so you don’t have to ask me anymore is that you can dip your food in it, pour it on top, or leave it alone if you don’t want it. He got upset and said I was being rude and I said I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude but please don’t ask me this anymore I’m not a sauce whisperer. He also can’t seem to put anything in the microwave without asking me how long to put it in. He knows this annoys me. My answer is always the same, “until it’s hot! I don’t have the magic answer for how long that takes.” I love my husband but these two things get on my damn nerves. Am I being unreasonable?? I don’t know how else to nicely shut this down.


You should contact a divorce attorney. You deserve a better husband. There are many men out there who won’t annoy you with these stupid questions.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 13:33     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
My DH does this kind of crap too. Do not engage. If yours is like mine, he probably won’t eat the sauce rather than solve the puzzle
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 13:28     Subject: Re:“What do I do with this sauce?”
I’ve gotten into the habit of ignoring people when they say dumb things or ask stupid questions. No one bats an eye when they don’t get a response. I wish I had started this sooner instead of engaging. Just turn your head and act like you never heard them. They won’t press you for a response.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:51     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
I would say "That's what she said" a few times, and after that just wiggle my eyebrows and say nothing.

Or you could offer to sign him up for a table manners class. That should shut him up.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:40     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Please name what sauces you are using. Truly interested to see what is so confusing.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:36     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote:Why are you serving sauce on the side like your husband is a toddler?


Restaurant and prepared foods often come with sauce on the side.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:35     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Anonymous wrote: Whenever my husband has a dish that comes with some sauce on the side he asks me “what do I do with this sauce?” He knows this annoys me and I tell him he can do whatever he wants with it. He asked me again tonight and I said okay rule of thumb so you don’t have to ask me anymore is that you can dip your food in it, pour it on top, or leave it alone if you don’t want it. He got upset and said I was being rude and I said I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude but please don’t ask me this anymore I’m not a sauce whisperer. He also can’t seem to put anything in the microwave without asking me how long to put it in. He knows this annoys me. My answer is always the same, “until it’s hot! I don’t have the magic answer for how long that takes.” I love my husband but these two things get on my damn nerves. Am I being unreasonable?? I don’t know how else to nicely shut this down.


This is a male trait that I do not understand. My husband does similar things. I simply stopped answering. In your case I'd answer with a question: What do you mean? I don't understand the question.

Or if this is happening when it's food you cook, just don't give him the sauce.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:33     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Surely when he goes to lunch with his coworkers he doesn't ask this.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:31     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
Why are you serving sauce on the side like your husband is a toddler?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:28     Subject: Re:“What do I do with this sauce?”
Don’t cook and offer him sauce anymore
It’s unhealthy, anyway
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2025 12:27     Subject: “What do I do with this sauce?”
That would be a huge turn off.