Anonymous
05/14/2025 15:49
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a HS junior. They have played club since they were about 8. They like soccer. Do not love it but like it a lot.
The thing about kids age 13-17 and soccer is that most will no go on to play in college. So around age 13, 14, 15, 16 you have choice to make, and not all families (kids, parents, both) understand the risks/benefits. Soccer, especially club and travel, take up a tremendous amount of time. Time that your kid could be doing other things to make them a better college applicant (getting better grades, taking harder classes, doing more extracurriculars, spending more time on extracurriculars they already do, trying new things, etc...).
Of course, the harder you work at and the more you prioritize soccer the more likely it is they'll play in college. But it's not guaranteed except for a few stars and involves a little luck for others.
So I am not telling you what to do, but cautioning you to be mindful of this as your kid makes choices and you guide them in choices about how to spend their time in the coming years.
+111
It’s even harder for boys now with the transfer portal and roster limits. Very few will play college soccer or like my own son the offers are from schools very much beneath where he got in academically (very top student). He could have played at a handful of schools, some D1 but much much lower academic schools and we are looking at where he’ll be after college—or if they get injured or ride the bench or end up not liking the college coach—the college itself matters so much more. They can play club soccer or UPSL.
With my second son, I didn’t bother with all of the camps and time consuming self-recruiting —focused on school and took the team that was good but less of a time/travel commitment.
If you have an absolute superstar (mls academy —-(not just mlsnext) it might be a different calculation.
Soccer- varsity/club, all met, state champs, etc is not a boost for the top schools. It’s something most will have in some sport or music, etc.
Part of me thinks, what's the point of playing club after 9th grade if there is so little chance of playing beyond high school? Maybe the focus should just be to get them high school-ready, so they can have the experience of playing a high school sport, and be done with it.
Agree with this to a certain point. But there’s also the part that sports, for most, should be a fun activity that gets kids in shape and teaches valuable lessons like teamwork, hard work, drive, discipline, etc.
Anonymous
05/14/2025 13:04
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Its weird that Club A is so much better than B but the A team coach wanted him right away but he was waitlisted for club B. Maybe its the position he plays.
The Club B coach is down on DC. The feedback I got is that they think DC doesn't push hard enough or play to their potential. It probably looked like that in tryouts because DC still plays a different, second priority spring sport, and when seasons overlap, energy is lower. But in any case, DC was top 5 at their tryout, so getting a late, second-round offer was surprising. DC struggles more with confidence now than anything else, and playing for a coach who doesn't believe in DC feels like a mistake. But in the end, maybe none of this matters because soccer is not worth the hardship, and we should prioritize convenience above all other factors.
This is why it’s hard to move up from within. My kid shines in MLSNext practices—will be in top 5, but doesn’t look as good or energetic in his 2nd team matches. He was a previous first team player in the past. The speed of play, 1st touch, good technique and IQ translates better with the type of game played by the first team (which has a huge roster). In general, he is by far the most skilled/highest soccer IQ on second team but does not look the best in the games. With other players out of position, not having the touch to receive or notice his runs, or make their own runs, slower speed of play- he does not shine. Pure aggression looks a lot better in those type of games. I can also see his coach would prob think the same as OP’s about him—meanwhile coaches at the upper level compliment him all the time at training. Confidence blown too - at first team ora times he comes out on a high—but with his own team/games looks dejected.
Anonymous
05/14/2025 11:24
Subject: Comparing offers
Club A. Go where he is wanted on a strong team. Unless Club A is totally unworkable logistically.
Anonymous
05/14/2025 11:20
Subject: Comparing offers
I'm not sure I'd want to commit to the time and cost of playing for a coach who doesn't really like him, sounds like a recipe for low playing time and more unhappiness. I think Club A sounds worth the drive. Once DC starts driving you can use the commute for practice hours toward licensing and then he can drive himself once licensed.
Anonymous
05/14/2025 11:16
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Its weird that Club A is so much better than B but the A team coach wanted him right away but he was waitlisted for club B. Maybe its the position he plays.
The Club B coach is down on DC. The feedback I got is that they think DC doesn't push hard enough or play to their potential. It probably looked like that in tryouts because DC still plays a different, second priority spring sport, and when seasons overlap, energy is lower. But in any case, DC was top 5 at their tryout, so getting a late, second-round offer was surprising. DC struggles more with confidence now than anything else, and playing for a coach who doesn't believe in DC feels like a mistake. But in the end, maybe none of this matters because soccer is not worth the hardship, and we should prioritize convenience above all other factors.
Anonymous
05/14/2025 07:11
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Two clubs play in the same division. The offer from Club A comes early, and the coach is enthusiastic about your kid. The offer from Club B comes late as a second-round offer made after someone else declined. Club A is the better team, usually rated first or second in their division. Club B is close to home and usually rated last in their division. But again, same division. Your kid is good enough to play varsity in high school, with an outside chance of playing D3 someday, and they love the sport. Do you suck it up and drive your kid to Club A, or go for the convenience of Club B?
Go with alexandria over revolution
Hmmm, Alexandria is usually at the bottom of the table. But good try!
Anonymous
05/13/2025 21:59
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a HS junior. They have played club since they were about 8. They like soccer. Do not love it but like it a lot.
The thing about kids age 13-17 and soccer is that most will no go on to play in college. So around age 13, 14, 15, 16 you have choice to make, and not all families (kids, parents, both) understand the risks/benefits. Soccer, especially club and travel, take up a tremendous amount of time. Time that your kid could be doing other things to make them a better college applicant (getting better grades, taking harder classes, doing more extracurriculars, spending more time on extracurriculars they already do, trying new things, etc...).
Of course, the harder you work at and the more you prioritize soccer the more likely it is they'll play in college. But it's not guaranteed except for a few stars and involves a little luck for others.
So I am not telling you what to do, but cautioning you to be mindful of this as your kid makes choices and you guide them in choices about how to spend their time in the coming years.
+111
It’s even harder for boys now with the transfer portal and roster limits. Very few will play college soccer or like my own son the offers are from schools very much beneath where he got in academically (very top student). He could have played at a handful of schools, some D1 but much much lower academic schools and we are looking at where he’ll be after college—or if they get injured or ride the bench or end up not liking the college coach—the college itself matters so much more. They can play club soccer or UPSL.
With my second son, I didn’t bother with all of the camps and time consuming self-recruiting —focused on school and took the team that was good but less of a time/travel commitment.
If you have an absolute superstar (mls academy —-(not just mlsnext) it might be a different calculation.
Soccer- varsity/club, all met, state champs, etc is not a boost for the top schools. It’s something most will have in some sport or music, etc.
Part of me thinks, what's the point of playing club after 9th grade if there is so little chance of playing beyond high school? Maybe the focus should just be to get them high school-ready, so they can have the experience of playing a high school sport, and be done with it.
My kids hated the HS coach/program and the level was poor. It also was a major time suck 5-6 nights a week— leave for school at 7am and not get home until 10pm.
Club provided better competition and a set schedule that worked well with a very rigorous high school schedule. They could be home at 3pm and have until 8pm when they left for practice to get homework done. It also prepared them to make the college club team which was WAY more competitive than making the HS team. Kid was the only freshmen to make the college club team.
If it were a different HS, different program might have done it differently. But most of the top players didn’t play for HS team by Junior year.
Anonymous
05/13/2025 20:17
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At most large publics boys have no chancenof even making JV HS team without club experience
Do they last in high school if they had a lot of higher-level club experience leading up to high school, but quit club at some point and focus on school and other things?
Will let you know about my kid!
I've seen lots of kids who don't do club (now, ever) get cut that were surprising cuts.
I guess club is less painful for parents in the final years of high school anyway, once kids can drive and travel with the team for tournaments?
Not really. Kids in our state can't drive others until well into being 17.
Also it's not just about the driving to practice in high school. It's about the time suck and opportunity cost...and for what? To maybe get an offer to play soccer at University of AnotherState SecondCityCampus? When your kid could get into a better school to not play? And could have gotten into a much better school had they focused on academics and other activities besides soccer for hs?
Yes, all these things are in my head. Like, by 9th grade, school can't be compromised by sports. It's not going anywhere.
Anonymous
05/13/2025 20:03
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Ideally, I’d say go where you’re wanted and you like the coach and teammates more. Your post is very vague though. What age? How far is the drive? Under u12 I’d choose a 15 min drive over 45 min. However, since you mention D3 potential, I assume your son is HS age. Starting at u16, we opted for a club that is far away because it checked all DS’s boxes. We drive 45 min each way on a good day but we have also had 90 min drives due to traffic. It’s exhausting but worth it. I try to look at the positives. I’m getting great quality time with my son that would not be possible without the commute.
U14. 30-40 minutes driving, depending on the time of day. I would have to use our nanny for some driving, as we have a younger kid and DH travels for work.
In your shoes, I might choose the closer club because it sounds like it’s not just an inconvenience but a hardship. Also, he’s still young enough that you can correct course next year if you have regrets. When my son decided to move to the further club I didn’t have to consider a younger sibling because he’s my youngest. DH does travel for work but just a few times a year and I’m off work in time to drive. In our case, I told DS no when he first suggested trying out there but after looking at his other options I decided to suck it up because this option was clearly his best one minus the commute and I also knew by that stage that he was 100% in on soccer.
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:55
Subject: Comparing offers
^well into 16, sorry.
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:53
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At most large publics boys have no chancenof even making JV HS team without club experience
Do they last in high school if they had a lot of higher-level club experience leading up to high school, but quit club at some point and focus on school and other things?
Will let you know about my kid!
I've seen lots of kids who don't do club (now, ever) get cut that were surprising cuts.
I guess club is less painful for parents in the final years of high school anyway, once kids can drive and travel with the team for tournaments?
Not really. Kids in our state can't drive others until well into being 17.
Also it's not just about the driving to practice in high school. It's about the time suck and opportunity cost...and for what? To maybe get an offer to play soccer at University of AnotherState SecondCityCampus? When your kid could get into a better school to not play? And could have gotten into a much better school had they focused on academics and other activities besides soccer for hs?
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:51
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At most large publics boys have no chancenof even making JV HS team without club experience
Do they last in high school if they had a lot of higher-level club experience leading up to high school, but quit club at some point and focus on school and other things?
Will let you know about my kid!
I've seen lots of kids who don't do club (now, ever) get cut that were surprising cuts.
I guess club is less painful for parents in the final years of high school anyway, once kids can drive and travel with the team for tournaments?
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:48
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:At most large publics boys have no chancenof even making JV HS team without club experience
Do they last in high school if they had a lot of higher-level club experience leading up to high school, but quit club at some point and focus on school and other things?
Will let you know about my kid!
I've seen lots of kids who don't do club (now, ever) get cut that were surprising cuts.
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:36
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:At most large publics boys have no chancenof even making JV HS team without club experience
Do they last in high school if they had a lot of higher-level club experience leading up to high school, but quit club at some point and focus on school and other things?
Anonymous
05/13/2025 19:36
Subject: Comparing offers
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I have a HS junior. They have played club since they were about 8. They like soccer. Do not love it but like it a lot.
The thing about kids age 13-17 and soccer is that most will no go on to play in college. So around age 13, 14, 15, 16 you have choice to make, and not all families (kids, parents, both) understand the risks/benefits. Soccer, especially club and travel, take up a tremendous amount of time. Time that your kid could be doing other things to make them a better college applicant (getting better grades, taking harder classes, doing more extracurriculars, spending more time on extracurriculars they already do, trying new things, etc...).
Of course, the harder you work at and the more you prioritize soccer the more likely it is they'll play in college. But it's not guaranteed except for a few stars and involves a little luck for others.
So I am not telling you what to do, but cautioning you to be mindful of this as your kid makes choices and you guide them in choices about how to spend their time in the coming years.
+111
It’s even harder for boys now with the transfer portal and roster limits. Very few will play college soccer or like my own son the offers are from schools very much beneath where he got in academically (very top student). He could have played at a handful of schools, some D1 but much much lower academic schools and we are looking at where he’ll be after college—or if they get injured or ride the bench or end up not liking the college coach—the college itself matters so much more. They can play club soccer or UPSL.
With my second son, I didn’t bother with all of the camps and time consuming self-recruiting —focused on school and took the team that was good but less of a time/travel commitment.
If you have an absolute superstar (mls academy —-(not just mlsnext) it might be a different calculation.
Soccer- varsity/club, all met, state champs, etc is not a boost for the top schools. It’s something most will have in some sport or music, etc.
Part of me thinks, what's the point of playing club after 9th grade if there is so little chance of playing beyond high school? Maybe the focus should just be to get them high school-ready, so they can have the experience of playing a high school sport, and be done with it.
My kid attends a high school where if you want to make varsity (and jv too really) 95% of the kids need to be playing club. It's wild, but it's the way it is. My kid played club for the first two years of HS and will quit for Junior year. If they don't make varsity again they're OK with that because they're choosing to focus on being competitive for T20 universities (not for soccer). If they make the school team again in August they won't play much so it'll be mainly for exercise and socialization. Same roulette senior year. This area is competitive. No kid at our school is guaranteed to return, and that applies to club players, jv captains, all of them.