Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have low self esteem, emotionally immature (though may seem mature intellectually/successful in the workplace) and seek validation outside their marriage.

I was coming here to ask this. It seems the common thread is insecurity by the cheater?

You really can’t have low self esteem since if you did you would fear rejection, you have to be really confident to even try to approach the topic. I am talking about people that meet in person and aren’t online specifically looking for affairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

NP. People do accidentally hurt people they love. If you intentionally hurt someone, then you don't love them.

No one "accidentally" cheats.

You only hurt them if they find out…so you rationalize it that as long as they never know, you didn’t hurt them.

Former AP and I are still friends and the one thing is that we will forever have this secret between us, where now there is someone else that knows more about us than our spouses. We are emotionally closer now because we can tell each other everything now that we have this bond of something only the two of us know.

Not as deep as you think it is. Mainly just knowledge of how your moral compass works or doesn't, with a mutual non-aggression pact laid on top. The rest is just sex-based bonding which isn't very unique.

We are best friends at this point because it’s easy knowing we can tell each other anything without judgement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

NP. People do accidentally hurt people they love. If you intentionally hurt someone, then you don't love them.

No one "accidentally" cheats.

You only hurt them if they find out…so you rationalize it that as long as they never know, you didn’t hurt them.

Former AP and I are still friends and the one thing is that we will forever have this secret between us, where now there is someone else that knows more about us than our spouses. We are emotionally closer now because we can tell each other everything now that we have this bond of something only the two of us know.

Not as deep as you think it is. Mainly just knowledge of how your moral compass works or doesn't, with a mutual non-aggression pact laid on top. The rest is just sex-based bonding which isn't very unique.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

NP. People do accidentally hurt people they love. If you intentionally hurt someone, then you don't love them.

No one "accidentally" cheats.

You only hurt them if they find out…so you rationalize it that as long as they never know, you didn’t hurt them.

Former AP and I are still friends and the one thing is that we will forever have this secret between us, where now there is someone else that knows more about us than our spouses. We are emotionally closer now because we can tell each other everything now that we have this bond of something only the two of us know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

NP. People do accidentally hurt people they love. If you intentionally hurt someone, then you don't love them.

No one "accidentally" cheats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have low self esteem, emotionally immature (though may seem mature intellectually/successful in the workplace) and seek validation outside their marriage.

I was coming here to ask this. It seems the common thread is insecurity by the cheater?

You really can’t have low self esteem since if you did you would fear rejection, you have to be really confident to even try to approach the topic. I am talking about people that meet in person and aren’t online specifically looking for affairs.

I'm not referring to people online. I mean people who are insecure and yes say they meet someone say at work and it seems like what they need is the "new romance/honeymoon" energy at all times. They don't have the ability to be confident on their own.

Anonymous wrote:This is a spinoff of all the other cheater threads. I'm curious to hear stories of cheaters who actually were very much in love with their partners/spouses. I think this happens pretty often.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have low self esteem, emotionally immature (though may seem mature intellectually/successful in the workplace) and seek validation outside their marriage.

I was coming here to ask this. It seems the common thread is insecurity by the cheater?

You really can’t have low self esteem since if you did you would fear rejection, you have to be really confident to even try to approach the topic. I am talking about people that meet in person and aren’t online specifically looking for affairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have low self esteem, emotionally immature (though may seem mature intellectually/successful in the workplace) and seek validation outside their marriage.

I was coming here to ask this. It seems the common thread is insecurity by the cheater?

Anonymous wrote:They have low self esteem, emotionally immature (though may seem mature intellectually/successful in the workplace) and seek validation outside their marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The part of your brain that falls in love is not the part of your brain that #%*~s. It’s that simple. So people who are very much in love cheat.

With love comes some scruples, so most don’t. And when love dies out, so do the scruples, so there is a higher chance of cheating there.

But love doesn’t necessarily equal fidelity.

It doesn’t mean fidelity, but the things that come along with infidelity are no longer compatible with love.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know two different women who basically told me the same story. They had serious boyfriends and were totally head over heals in love. They were having amazing sex with the guys they chester on. But they reacted very badly when their relationships hit rough patches. When the boyfriends started to seem ambivalent and were pretty clear that they were thinking about breaking up, these women couldn't take the stress and uncertainty, and they cheated. The men they cheated with were less desirable but more consistent in showing devotion to the women. One of the women ended up getting busted because the new guy got angry at her, since he didn't know about the first boyfriend, and told the first boyfriend. The other one just denied everything but the first boyfriend suspected something was wrong and they ended up having a bunch of breakups.

Those two women did not cheat. Bf/gf is not a legitimate relationship. It is a fornication arrangement. Those two women fornicated with additional person(s) while fornicating with their regulars.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of closeted guys truly love their wives but cheat anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of closeted guys truly love their wives but cheat anyway.