Anonymous wrote:Thank you all. I talked to him today and he basically blamed me bc we didn’t go out to dinner last night (what?)- the kids had sports, last night and early this am. Then he said he had a bad day at work and didn’t want to talk about the drinking bc “he didn’t want to be told off” which I was not doing, I was trying to have a normal conversation. Ugh.

I’m sorry, OP. You need to shift your mindset and realize this isn’t something you can fix in your own and he’s not a willing partner to help fix it. As others have said, go to Al Anon. So many people have been down this path, you don’t need to figure it out on your own. Wishing you well.

OP, I wouldn't ask him not to drink. It won't work anyway; he's an alcoholic. I would ask him only for honestly so that when he's drinking, he won't drive/kill anyone or himself. That if he is drinking, he needs to tell you. That way you can continue to parent him. He needs to understand that if he 'hates the parenting dynamic', he is the one doing it to himself. But then again, you are dealing with an addict, and they tend to be liars and manipulators because that is what the disease does to them. So you may not get honesty. Which puts you back at square one. Do you want to be with a manipulative, lying, childish alcoholic? If not, plan accordingly.