Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My newly divorced friend showed me her options on the dating apps. These older men she is matching with are not physically attractive or the ones who are don’t seem interested or obviously only want sex. I guess all the good ones are taken or prefer a younger woman.

My friend was beautiful in her twenties and thirties. She now looks like an average middle aged woman. She looks great for her age but she is still in her fifties.

I am 50, divorced, attractive, full set of hair, and interested in a genuine connection. However I am broke. Yes I have enough means to support myself, but my divorce set me back for retirement and I have freshman twins in college. I haven't gone on OLD yet. The reason I am still on the sideline is my assumption that most women my age probably want someone younger and are very skeptical about men my age. I am not interested in a younger women because younger women are a terrible match for men in their 50s. While I still have energy and I am passionate I am not delusional in thinking that I can keep up with a woman in her 30s. I am just being honest. Women in their 50s can date younger men because women are just more passionate than men. They always want to do stuff whereas most men my age are just fine being home or going out occasionally.

Your friend isn't playing her cards properly because our society is different now. It's not taboo for women in their 50s to date men in their 30s and 40s. So she should take advantage.

The problem is that men in their 30s and 40s don’t want to date women in their 50s. Who want to date grandmas?
Young men who date them are often gigolos or guys looking for a rich sugar mama.

Their options are no worse than the husbands we have.

I'm in my 50s. Financially secure, college educated, and decent looks. Every time I've turned on Bumble or Hinge after a few months, my phone has exploded with people swiping right on me. Some are over 60. Most are also in their 50s like me. Some are in their 40s and a few are younger.

I'm a man. Maybe that makes a difference but I doubt it. When I've pursued attractive women in their 50s, they've told me I had lots of competition. I'm in a relationship now with someone in her 40s, but that wasn't always the situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I'm only 50, not 70! One of the most attractive things about me is I'm not looking for someone to marry and have kids with. I've travelled the world, have a great career, am very cultured and can talk to anyone. Are there 35 year old women like me? Sure, but they probably want to settle down if they haven't already.

You can be a man-child at any age. The worst are the old men children because they never learned. I wouldn't date a man-child, and I'm pretty sure a man-child would only date women 15-20 years younger than them. To me, the 35 yos I'm dating are fun and have tons of energy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I do too. I'm 54, and happily married, fortunately, but if I weren't, I would have zero interest in a 30 something man.

Yep. I have a 20-year old son. And 30 year old nephews.

Just gross. Frickin gross

Here is my opinion about this. I am 46 so I am genX. A lot of the women advocating for dating younger are fellow genX women. Now my theory is that feminist did a good job with millennial men. These millennial men don't follow gender norms like those us genX'ers. And these men also are not necessarily interested in having kids as much we did. So I think it's a win win situation for all those involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I have a 50+ year old friend who mostly dates younger. She basically offers them no strings attached sex that they want and she's ok with it as someone whose kids are grown and who is no longer able to get pregnant. She doesn't know want to marry them or anything.

I am a man and I would agree that's probably the reason as well. For us guys dating younger it's a bit more challenging though because younger women can get the same no strings attached sex from men their age and probably better sex too. So in the back of my mind I am always like what they do they really want from me lol?

The only reason younger women sleep with older men is money - it's either transitional, or it's more subtle, and they're hoping you'll spend money on taking them out on nice dates and buying them gifts, and possibly marrying and providing for them—no other reason. Younger men sleeping with older women are less likely to have a hidden agenda.

I've said this before here, but I do well with woman in their 40s like me and find it costs significantly less when I'm in a relationship with a woman in her 20s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I have a 50+ year old friend who mostly dates younger. She basically offers them no strings attached sex that they want and she's ok with it as someone whose kids are grown and who is no longer able to get pregnant. She doesn't know want to marry them or anything.

I am a man and I would agree that's probably the reason as well. For us guys dating younger it's a bit more challenging though because younger women can get the same no strings attached sex from men their age and probably better sex too. So in the back of my mind I am always like what they do they really want from me lol?

The only reason younger women sleep with older men is money - it's either transitional, or it's more subtle, and they're hoping you'll spend money on taking them out on nice dates and buying them gifts, and possibly marrying and providing for them—no other reason. Younger men sleeping with older women are less likely to have a hidden agenda.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call troll. According to DCUM, if a women divorces at any age, there is a stack of men lined up ready to date her. That's why the woman is always encouraged to get a divorce.

I’m not sure why you think that I am a troll. I was with my friend and she made the dating scene sound truly sad in her fifties. I think she thought being single would be better than being with her ex.

She did date a few divorced men post divorce. It doesn’t last long and fizzles.

This poster always gets all their information on the world and life from DCUM. Sad, really.

"What's the point of dating again at 50, anyway? Everyone that age has baggage, and women almost always get left carrying the load. Now that I'm in my 40s, I finally understand why my grandmother, who was widowed in her 40s, never dated again. She had a vibrant social life up until she passed at 99. She had a close relationship with her kids and grandkids. And most importantly to her, she didn't have to take care of another man and his extended family. She alluded that the second half of her life was the best half."

Because not all men are losers. Some men evolve and learn and develop the ability to be great partners over time.

You mention baggage, but baggage mainly comes from one's childhood. Most young people marrying in their 20s and 30s haven't even realized yet that they carry baggage from childhood wounds, and even fewer have dealt with it and learned healthy coping skills. That's why so many will eventually divorce. Some of those who divorce will do the work and figure out that they married the wrong sort of person or they behaved in unhealthy ways in their marriage, and they learn to do it differently the second time around.

I don't understand why it's so hard for people to see why a 50-something would want to meet a partner. You wouldn't question why a 25-yr-old who couldn't have children would want a life partner. We pair off for reasons beyond procreation. Humans are not solitary creatures, and your interest in someone attractive doesn't evaporate when you turn 49. For many people, their drive and enjoyment goes up after 50, especially once the kids are grown and out of the house.

As as for the grandma in the above post, my guess is that her extended family and her children lived close by and that she had lots of siblings. That's pretty rare these days. My parents, siblings, children, and I live in 3 different time zones. I'll spend Mothers' Day alone, without my mom or my children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I have a 50+ year old friend who mostly dates younger. She basically offers them no strings attached sex that they want and she's ok with it as someone whose kids are grown and who is no longer able to get pregnant. She doesn't know want to marry them or anything.

I am a man and I would agree that's probably the reason as well. For us guys dating younger it's a bit more challenging though because younger women can get the same no strings attached sex from men their age and probably better sex too. So in the back of my mind I am always like what they do they really want from me lol?

Well, I'm typing this from the spacious and well-appointed living room of a 60+ man in NoVa whose youngest kid just had their first baby. I'm an "old" mom since I had my youngest at 38. But even I'm an empty nester and my kid graduates next year from college. And I also have a house in the suburbs that I got in the divorce settlement.

I once dated a man with a teen at home and it was a nightmare. Never again.

Anonymous wrote:My newly divorced friend showed me her options on the dating apps. These older men she is matching with are not physically attractive or the ones who are don’t seem interested or obviously only want sex. I guess all the good ones are taken or prefer a younger woman.

My friend was beautiful in her twenties and thirties. She now looks like an average middle aged woman. She looks great for her age but she is still in her fifties.

Most of my friends in their 50s have gone to reunions or rekindled relationships with guys from high school, college or former coworkers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I have a 50+ year old friend who mostly dates younger. She basically offers them no strings attached sex that they want and she's ok with it as someone whose kids are grown and who is no longer able to get pregnant. She doesn't know want to marry them or anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I do too. I'm 54, and happily married, fortunately, but if I weren't, I would have zero interest in a 30 something man.

Yep. I have a 20-year old son. And 30 year old nephews.

Just gross. Frickin gross

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can agree date younger? I'm 50 but date 35 yo and up

Genuine question. At 50, what can you offer a man who is only 35? Aren't you concerned that a 35 years old can't find a woman his age and has to date someone 35 years older? What makes you so different from a 35 years old woman.

I find this trend of women advocating for dating younger men interesting. We men hear all the time from women that we are immature, we are man-child etc. So suddenly when you are 50, the 35 years old man is not immature or a man-child anymore?

I do too. I'm 54, and happily married, fortunately, but if I weren't, I would have zero interest in a 30 something man.