Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 18:50     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:Op here I wasn't gona post this but she left cause she's been having an affair for a while . She moved in with her ap . She didn't work which was fine cause she took care of our son but I had to work like crazy to keep up her lifestyle. I haven't been thinking the best the last 24 hrs . I was just trying to make sure I didn't miss anything. Thanks everyone for the ideas I know this mostly moms on here but I truly do appreciate you all taking time to give me ideas what to get . Now I guess I start over .


If you're so checked out that you don't even know what your 4 year old child uses daily in terms of furniture and other essential items... your wife must have felt so neglected that I don't really blame her for looking elsewhere for an emotional and romantic connection. You only talk about giving her money. What about connection? In situations such as yours, the blame isn't all on the cheater. There's a whole of blame that attaches to the cheatee, ie, YOU. And I would also say this if gender roles were reversed. Marriage is not transactional. You are more than a wallet, but apparently you didn't bother to stretch to anything else. You get what you deserve (and so does she - she doesn't sound like a great catch either). If ever there is a next time for you, choose better, and behave better.


Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 18:44     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.


That's a ridiculous excuse, OP. My father worked a lot because my mother was disabled, but he also cooked and cleaned, made my lunchbox, drove me to school, sewed buttons and clothing labels, and put together my IKEA furniture. All the things my mother could not do. Being checked-out is always a crime when it comes to your children.

DCUM can't help you anyway when it comes to details. Your child is very much his own person, and will need things that maybe not all 4 year olds need. You really seem not to know how to be a parent! Your child needs input on some of this stuff, he's 4, he has opinions and preferences: he's not an accessory you've suddenly decided to pluck away from your wife, just because she humiliated you. If your wife just left, making a list of stuff shouldn't be your top priority. It should be talking to her to establish some baseline of communication, as well as talking to your child to reassure him that his father is present in his life.

You're just so messed up.



Wow! DCUM seems pretty harsh tonight. I don’t know why you’re assuming that he’s not trying to reassure his child or coordinate with his wife. Moreover, rather than him suddenly deciding to pluck the child from his wife, it sounds like she suddenly decided to pluck the child from him. After being blindsided and cleaned out, he’s trying to reprovision so that he’ll be prepared to maintain a relationship with the boy. While he’ll apparently have to assume more responsibility, I think it’s unfair to treat him as someone who is a stranger to his son. I imagine coming home and finding your child and everything related to the child missing would be enough to send someone reeling. In such an emotional state, I think it’s understandable that he would be asking for input to make sure he didn’t forget anything important. Personally, on a routine trip to the grocery store, I know I’m liable to forget something, and that’s when I’m not in crisis mode and it only inconveniences me, not my traumatized child whose world has been turned upside down.



AND WHAT DOES HE DO? HE ASKS THE WIVES ON DCUM.

He's not stepping up in the least. Just farming out to other mothers. He does not deserve help at all.

Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 18:41     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:Need help ASAP wife probably soon to be ex wife to our son and all his belongings out of our house yesterday while I was at work . She feels she's entitled to all of his things . I'm consulting a lawyer tomorrow hopefully. What should I get for him at my place . She took all his clothes bed everything. From the way it looks it's done .Just need ideas to make some quick shopping trips thanks .

Father of the year, for sure.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 16:48     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
You need a list of all his medications, current doctors, and purchase OTC meds appropriate for 4 year old.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 15:57     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.


Looks like you forgot he needed a dad.


OP, you are a terrible father and husband.
op here he has a dad I spent all my free time I had with my wife and son . She liked the finer things in life but she didn't want to work . She liked to travel and live the goodlife . She wanted a new truck we bought her a year old one while I drive a 15 year old one . I love my son and I still care about my wife unfortunately she moved in with a guy who got divorced less than a .month ago . Heard through the grapevine there been cheating together the last two years . So now I need to get checked for stds so I'm a bad father really .

If your wife is cheating, of course that is not right, but it has F all to do with the fact you've had a little human in your house for 4 years whose care you apparently know nothing about. Your wife being spendy is also irrelevant.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 15:41     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:You... don't even know what your own child used in your own home???? Did you not even do the shopping, or did you tag along scrolling on your phone while your wife did all the research and selection?

I'm not really inclined to help you.


+1 I thought this was going to be a visiting child, someone helping out another family, or something like a foster kid / relative's kid joining in an emergency.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 15:10     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.


Looks like you forgot he needed a dad.


OP, you are a terrible father and husband.
op here he has a dad I spent all my free time I had with my wife and son . She liked the finer things in life but she didn't want to work . She liked to travel and live the goodlife . She wanted a new truck we bought her a year old one while I drive a 15 year old one . I love my son and I still care about my wife unfortunately she moved in with a guy who got divorced less than a .month ago . Heard through the grapevine there been cheating together the last two years . So now I need to get checked for stds so I'm a bad father really .


Sperm and money do not a dad make. If you spent all your free time with him, then why would you need to make this information request?

If you get 50/50 custody I guess you will get acquainted with your son.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 14:58     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Op, breathe. The kid doesn't even know that you missed something. He is too busy checking out your new place. Target has most of the stuff he needs. Safety first in your place.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 14:53     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:Went through something similar a few years back . It's gona be he'll for a little while but it will get better. Talk to a lawyer to discuss your options . 50 50 is best for the kid if you can handle it . If you have friends and family close have them help . Don't spend alot of money on stuff cause they grow so fast document everything. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist to help with the onslaught of emotions. Divorce sucks it was the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life . Stay strong for your son .


Sigh. A second poster who just happened to do the exact weird " . " spacing? Sure.

Go write your fiction somewhere else.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 14:51     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Went through something similar a few years back . It's gona be he'll for a little while but it will get better. Talk to a lawyer to discuss your options . 50 50 is best for the kid if you can handle it . If you have friends and family close have them help . Don't spend alot of money on stuff cause they grow so fast document everything. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist to help with the onslaught of emotions. Divorce sucks it was the hardest thing I've ever been through in my life . Stay strong for your son .
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 13:14     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.


Looks like you forgot he needed a dad.


OP, you are a terrible father and husband.
op here he has a dad I spent all my free time I had with my wife and son . She liked the finer things in life but she didn't want to work . She liked to travel and live the goodlife . She wanted a new truck we bought her a year old one while I drive a 15 year old one . I love my son and I still care about my wife unfortunately she moved in with a guy who got divorced less than a .month ago . Heard through the grapevine there been cheating together the last two years . So now I need to get checked for stds so I'm a bad father really .
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 09:29     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Op here not a troll worked like crazy so wife didn't have to . I know mostly what to get for him . Just trying to make sure I don't forget anything.


Looks like you forgot he needed a dad.


OP, you are a terrible father and husband.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 09:28     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Anonymous wrote:You... don't even know what your own child used in your own home???? Did you not even do the shopping, or did you tag along scrolling on your phone while your wife did all the research and selection?

I'm not really inclined to help you.


+1
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 09:27     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
For clothes and pjs, if price is a concern, I’d go with carters, gap kids, or target.

If price insensitive, then try:
For clothes- Mayoral, Vineyard Vines, Maisonette, Bloomingdales

For PJs- Petite Plume, Lake, Pehr (I like buying 100% Pima cotton pjs for my 4 yo).

For toys, my 4yo loves Thomas the train, so we have a full train playtable, tracks, trains, etc. Much of this can be found second hand on eBay or Facebook marketplace. Otherwise, maybe pick up a bunch of books from the library too.
Good luck OP! Hope this helps.
Anonymous
Post 05/05/2025 09:08     Subject: Need help what to have in my house for a 4 year old ?
Helmet if you get the child a scooter or bike.