Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with children who did this. First of all, you need to take her to her pediatrician and then to a therapist. If she does it again, she needs to put on gloves and hand wash her underwear herself with your guidance, followed by you having her put it in the washer and dryer, while she sits next to the laundry machines with a book for the length of the cycles. This a “cost” of her behavior.

She needs to write her teacher a letter of apology for doing this in class, as it took away from the teacher’s normal duties to deal with this.

If she does it at home while on your furniture, she needs to be given a plastic chair to sit in, and only be allowed to sit in that seat at home, so that she can scrub it with cleanser if she does it again. This is a natural consequence.

If she ruins underwear or other clothing, she pays to replace it with her own money or by doing extra chores.

This is all if there is not a medical reason. You know best if this is likely on purpose, based on her personality and other behaviors. The new baby is now big enough to be affecting her much more than when it was an infant and just slept a lot.

Definitely line up a therapist.

JFC.

OP, do not do any of this. Most likely case is that your child became constipated (for a variety of possible reasons) and now is impacted and has encopresis. She is denying all knowledge because she is humiliated and doesn't understand why she isn't in control of her bowels anymore. Any kind of punishment or shaming is not going to help, it will make things worse.

Take her to a doctor. Do some age appropriate education around encopresis and let her know it's not her fault and there are things the doctor can do, and she can do, to fix it and prevent it from happening again.

The PP said “that is all if there is no medical reason.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with children who did this. First of all, you need to take her to her pediatrician and then to a therapist. If she does it again, she needs to put on gloves and hand wash her underwear herself with your guidance, followed by you having her put it in the washer and dryer, while she sits next to the laundry machines with a book for the length of the cycles. This a “cost” of her behavior.

She needs to write her teacher a letter of apology for doing this in class, as it took away from the teacher’s normal duties to deal with this.

If she does it at home while on your furniture, she needs to be given a plastic chair to sit in, and only be allowed to sit in that seat at home, so that she can scrub it with cleanser if she does it again. This is a natural consequence.

If she ruins underwear or other clothing, she pays to replace it with her own money or by doing extra chores.

This is all if there is not a medical reason. You know best if this is likely on purpose, based on her personality and other behaviors. The new baby is now big enough to be affecting her much more than when it was an infant and just slept a lot.

Definitely line up a therapist.

JFC.

OP, do not do any of this. Most likely case is that your child became constipated (for a variety of possible reasons) and now is impacted and has encopresis. She is denying all knowledge because she is humiliated and doesn't understand why she isn't in control of her bowels anymore. Any kind of punishment or shaming is not going to help, it will make things worse.

Take her to a doctor. Do some age appropriate education around encopresis and let her know it's not her fault and there are things the doctor can do, and she can do, to fix it and prevent it from happening again.

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with children who did this. First of all, you need to take her to her pediatrician and then to a therapist. If she does it again, she needs to put on gloves and hand wash her underwear herself with your guidance, followed by you having her put it in the washer and dryer, while she sits next to the laundry machines with a book for the length of the cycles. This a “cost” of her behavior.

She needs to write her teacher a letter of apology for doing this in class, as it took away from the teacher’s normal duties to deal with this.

If she does it at home while on your furniture, she needs to be given a plastic chair to sit in, and only be allowed to sit in that seat at home, so that she can scrub it with cleanser if she does it again. This is a natural consequence.

If she ruins underwear or other clothing, she pays to replace it with her own money or by doing extra chores.

This is all if there is not a medical reason. You know best if this is likely on purpose, based on her personality and other behaviors. The new baby is now big enough to be affecting her much more than when it was an infant and just slept a lot.

Definitely line up a therapist.

Anonymous wrote:Look up Encopresis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pediatrician: they can let you know if there is a physical condition and can assess if there is abuse.

Ive heard this before but don't understand how abuse correlates to this does anyone know?

When a child has been sexually abused, sometimes the brain will deal with the overwhelm by shutting down signals from this whole area of the body.

OP, if you are still reading: assuming she is developmentally typical, third grade is VERY late for this problem to be showing up for the first time accompanied by denial this strong. It would be much more typical for her to be terribly embarrassed, but not actually sitting there in her own poop.

Something is wrong and you need a pediatrician’s help to figure it out. Get her into the doctor’s office.

Anonymous wrote:Has someone mentioned encopresis?

Basically constipation causes you to leak, sometimes without realizing it. Constipation in kids can be due to diet and/or anxiety.

My autistic kid had that. He leaked. We addressed the constipation and the leaks disappeared.

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with children who did this. First of all, you need to take her to her pediatrician and then to a therapist. If she does it again, she needs to put on gloves and hand wash her underwear herself with your guidance, followed by you having her put it in the washer and dryer, while she sits next to the laundry machines with a book for the length of the cycles. This a “cost” of her behavior.

She needs to write her teacher a letter of apology for doing this in class, as it took away from the teacher’s normal duties to deal with this.

If she does it at home while on your furniture, she needs to be given a plastic chair to sit in, and only be allowed to sit in that seat at home, so that she can scrub it with cleanser if she does it again. This is a natural consequence.

If she ruins underwear or other clothing, she pays to replace it with her own money or by doing extra chores.

This is all if there is not a medical reason. You know best if this is likely on purpose, based on her personality and other behaviors. The new baby is now big enough to be affecting her much more than when it was an infant and just slept a lot.

Definitely line up a therapist.