I'd suggest doing it now. Meaning today. It gives the BF time to adjust a bit before prom and graduation. And your daughter the ability to disengage from what seems a pressured-feeling relationship.

Definitely after. Especially if they like each other as people and are kind to each other, but just have drifted apart from having a romantic relationship.

The only way before would make sense is if it was a toxic relationship and one or both would make prom unemployable (controlling, abusive, etc).

I also vote for after prom, before graduation. Kids don’t take dates to graduation and the graduation won’t be ruined in the same way prom would be if the SO was dumped before. I feel for your kid and the SO. Heartbreak and being the cause of heartbreak aren’t easy things to navigate. Hopefully, both kids will grow through this experience.

I am not sure why anyone is encouraging high schoolers to stick it out for any reason.

The imperative here is kindness and empathy.

Your kid should tell their SO, as soon as they know for certain, that their feelings have changedand goals have become more clear, and that though they really care for them as a person and don't want drama or animosity, they know now that they do not want to be together after high school. Maybe they would still be willing to go to prom. As dates, as friends, whatever they think. Telling them what they envision and what their boundaries are is not the same as saying "see ya, sorry you spent thousands for Prom!" There's a lot of daylight between being a jerk and saying "I love you" when you don't mean it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew your son was the a**hole.

Since this appears to be a difference maker to some of you, and I dont understand why, my kid is the girl.

I’m sure I’m a terrible person to say this, but I’d be a lot more wary of a suffocating, clingy boyfriend. I couldn’t advise my daughter to suck it up for a few weeks when a male is making her uncomfortable. I guess it should be the same for a son, but it seems to have more of a risk of danger when the boy is the one pressuring.

Op. Thanks for the helpful responses. To thw judgmental and lecture-y responses, kindly piss off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew your son was the a**hole.

Since this appears to be a difference maker to some of you, and I dont understand why, my kid is the girl.

It makes no difference OP.

And you should not be involved in when DD does this at all. You should not be pushing her to wait.

Why in the world did she accept his invitation?

As soon as he used the love word and she did not feel the same she should have broken off.